PeaceBang's Beauty Tips For Ministers

Beauty Tips Has MOVED!

2007-05-07T10:00:00.000-04:00

Dear readers,

We* have moved to a new site, so please set your bookmarks:

www.beautytipsforministers.com

See you over at WordPress, and adieu to Blogger!
Most of the archives have been moved, so comments will be closed here.

(the new site was designed by Scott Wells, blogging as BoyInTheBands, for which he has earned an extra pair of angel's wings - -and the domain was given as a gift by ChaliceChick, who just plain rocks.)

Things That Give PeaceBang a Thrill

2007-05-06T16:17:00.000-04:00

Good Sabbath, darlings.

PeaceBang was cyber-thumbling through the latest issue of Harvard Divinity Today and came across this item:

"The Association of Theological Schools in the United States and Canada (ATS) and the Henry Luce Foundation have named Amy M. Hollywood, the Elizabeth H. Monrad Professor of Christian Studies at HDS, as one of seven Henry Luce III Fellows in Theology for 2007–08.

Selected on the basis of the strength of their proposals to conduct creative and innovative theological research, theLuce Fellows engage in yearlong research in various areas of theological inquiry. Hollywood—under the title “Acute Melancholia: On Loss, Mourning, and Mysticism”—
will juxtapose medieval Christian mystical texts in which union with Christ is understood as a form of melancholic lovesickness with modern theological, psychoanalytic, feminist, and queer accounts of mourning and melancholia."

And PeaceBang swooned.
Go, Amy Hollywood, go, go!! Please publish that book as soon as you can, and know that PeaceBang is salivating in anticipation as she simultaneously shyly admires the heck out of your glamorous name and beautiful self.

And to the HDS person who thought my little accomplishments here worthy for inclusion in the lastest alumn/ae news, I tip my hat in surprised appreciation. One does what one can, my Crimson friends, one does what one can.

The Power Of the White Lab Coat

2007-05-04T10:08:00.000-04:00

I've been feeling so drab lately, and when I looked in the mirror on Tuesday night after a long day, I noticed that my face looked actually dirty.

Suspicious, I paid special attention to my make-up the next morning. I had just purchased Bare Minerals and as I applied it, I realized that it was two to three shades too dark. Also startlingly yellow against my pink skin.

The gal at Sephora whence I purchased it a few weeks ago didn't think it necessary to "color test" me-- too expert at assigning the right shade of Bare Minerals foundation to various women's skin was she. She took one look at me and pronounced me Medium Beige. It was a thrilling moment. My brain fell right out the hem of my pants.

"Gee, I can't believe it! I'm so fair!" I said. Dear readers --consider PeaceBang Exhibit A in the case against the cosmetics industry-- which can so easily dupe us into thinking that we don't know nuthin' about our own body. Can you believe that I sort of thought that I had GRADUATED from the super fair shades into a more adult, substantial skin tone? Like, well, I'm over 40 now, and I guess I'm no longer ivory, but MEDIUM BEIGE. That girl should know. She has a white lab coat on.

Oh, vanity, vanity, all is vanity saith the preacher.
Also, stupidity.

So this dumb bunny went back to Sephora yesterday and got color tested, and it turns out that the true match was with the shade "Light," and today I feel bright and polished and not muzzy-faced and dirty, and you know, PeaceBang has learned her lesson. The next time some cosmetics wench tries to convince her that a hideously unflattering color is HER, she will respond, "Thank you for thinking so, dearie, but I'm the one who's been living with this face for over 40 years, and I can tell you that that I will look like a mud turtle in that particular shade."

P.S. I bought a deliciously pink-coral lipgloss by Smashbox in the color "Blur." And I know I'm disgustingly shallow for the happiness it is bringing me this morning.
Will you begrudge that to PeaceBang, who has a 20-page paper due next week, and an annual report? Of course you won't. And that's why I love you.

Those Lovin' Hands

2007-05-04T10:05:00.001-04:00

Burts Bees
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

A caring chaplain wrote in to share her penchant for Burt's Bees hand cream.

She writes,

"Have you mentioned Burt's Bees hand salve? Very good for
hospital chaplains with dried out abused hands that have been prayin' all day and getting washed between all patients with super-foam that kills everything, including your nice hands.

The chaplain can go home at night, glob salve generously on her hands, and put her abused fingers into those funny white cotton gloves for some TLC. It doesn't make it perfect, but it at least keeps your hands from peeling apart in many pieces (as mine were doing near the beginning)."

PeaceBang would like to add that cracked hands are more easily-infected hands, and working in a hospital puts enough stress on one's immune system. So take care of your lovin' hands, not just for vanity's sake, but for your comfort and health as well.

Hey guys, this goes for you, too.

Burt's Bees products seem to be available just about everywhere these days. They have a wide variety of hand salves and I'm sure you'll find one that suits you. PeaceBang has also heard good things about Eucerin (the kind in a tub), but thinks that product is probably petroleum-based.

Did you know that good old olive oil also makes a perfectly terrific moisturizer for the hands? Especially with the cotton gloves overnight.

Tra La, It's May! We Have a New Website Coming!

2007-05-02T16:17:00.000-04:00

Remember when Queen Guenivere went scampering about with all her knights and ladies singing, "It's May! It's May! The lusty month of May!"
Well, that's because Gwenny wasn't in the parish ministry, and she looked all dewy and fetching in her slightly undone braids and strangely anachronistic Empire-waist chiffon gown (weren't they wearing, like tapestries back in the Arthurian days?). You and I, however, have every right to look a big draggy right now, with puffy post-Easter eyes and end-of-semester flat hair that could definitely use a dye job. PeaceBang always feels that she's been beaten with the Ugly Stick during these transitional seasons, and you may too, but don't be mean to yourselves, dearies. Put some daffodils on your desk, put on your favorite shoes, and keep on dancin'.

And while you're at it, could you please recommend a lipstick shade for a pink-complected redhead who finds that her eternal favorite color just doesn't look good anymore?

Speaking of transitions, BeautyTipsForMinisters is moving from Blogger to WordPress!! Please bear with my light posting as I start moving in to the new site, courtesy of the marvelous Scott Wells, BoyIntheBands and Keeper of My Techo-Sanity at this time.

Kiss of peace! xxoxo PB

Cheap Undereye Cover-Up?

2007-04-30T13:35:00.000-04:00

This just in, lovely ones:

Hi PB!
A query -I'm trying to replace my Clinique make-up products (expensive, and I usually can't resist shopping at Macy's afterwards, so more expensive). I'm loving my Cover Girl mascara and eye liner, Almay eyebrow pencil (with a tiny point that you twist out instead of sharpen, so less wasteful) and Revlon long-lasting lipstick in Bare Maximum. But so far, I haven't found any type of concealer that I like nearly as well as the Clinique. I like a liquid/wand more than crayon types - less scraping against the delicate under-eye. Any suggestions?

Thanks, Gidget

Gidge, darling, I'm sure my readers will have a plethora of fantabulous suggestions for this very important question.

All wand-applied cover-ups cake up under my wrinkly eyes when I smile, so I avoid them, patting on a light, creamy foundation instead and lightly dusting with highlighting powder.

Readers, if you have dark shadows around your eyes -- something that is very typical with age and with olive skin tones -- remember that it's a great idea to apply cover-up all over the eyelid. Blend, blend, blend and make sure you don't miss the inner corner by the nose.

Guide To Best Drugstore Buys

2007-04-28T09:19:00.000-04:00

Hey gang!

Real Simple magazine has a very handy-dandy guide to the best drugstore (read: affordable products) buys here.
It's arranged by category of product and looks to have excellent suggestions.

This is Real Simple's helpful guide to how to buy wardrobe essentials.

Actually, as a former subscriber to Real Simple magazine, I must say that I'm very impressed with their web site. I'll be reading more articles when I get a chance.

Thanks to SisterBang for the referral!

Lip Ink?

2007-04-27T17:36:00.000-04:00

Hi dears,
Someone just wrote to me about Lip Ink.

I've never heard of it, and I'm fascinated. She's going to send me more info, but have any of you tried it? Comments?

I did some research and came up with this UK company:

www.lipink.com

It looks like it's organic, and it looks like the starter kit is quite expensive (but that after that, re-fills are quite economical). The blonde model in the video is a little bit overwhelmed by her big red lips, but the other models are wearing more subtle colors that look lovely.

Do you have to scrub it off with another special product at the end of the day?

I wonder if I could get the company to send me a free starter kit for reviewing purposes...!

The First Commandment Of Sandals

2007-04-26T21:18:00.001-04:00

Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Edie Falco is a really terrific actress, but oy vey, this schmatta has got to go.

Doesn't this sort of look like something you or I might wear to a funeral? I think it might be okay at a funeral, but not at the opening of a film festival. Not that any of us are going to openings of film festivals, I'm just sayin'. That little kick of flamenco dancer frill at the hem just doesn't redeem it.

Let's discuss the other fashion problems here. First, if we're going to wear an entirely sombre black dress, let's not throw some itsy-bitsy little necklace on and call that accessorizing. ESPECIALLY if we're going to be speaking in public. With something this austere, you want a bolder statement, methinks.

The hem is a universally unflattering length, but she could have made it less so by not breaking up her leg with those thick sandal straps. And she needs pantyhose or something to help with the pasty leg situation. Do you see how your eye moves down from the smooth line of black and then it's like three big chunks of white? Worst of all, it distracts from her face. She's also not wearing enough make-up to compete with the black, and she looks extremely washed out. So much to learn here! We love you, Edie! But you need some rouge!

All of that aside, THE SHOES DON'T FIT.

Now usually, the sin with sandals is when we get into the Toe-Overhang or the Heel Overhang -- both mortal sins that I'm SURE earns one time in Fashion Hell. PeaceBang has extremely short toes and often has to contend with her pinky toe slipping through the strap on sandals she's trying on and LOVES, but has to put sadly away until the day that plastic surgeons develop toe-elongation cosmetic enhancement. Her stubby toes are a serious impediment to fitting sandals well, so she feels the pain of those who suffer the same malady.
However, we must be strong. No matter how much we LOVE the sandal, we should not BUY and WEAR the sandal if it doesn't FIT.

Too small is just awful. Too big isn't much better, as you can see here.

I saw a photo of Beyonce Knowles the other day dancing her pants off in a pair of 4" heels, and those heels were a full two sizes too big. I could only imagine that the lovely Ms. Knowles shot that photo and fell forthwith on her keister.

The point, as always, is about not unintentionally upstaging ourselves so that when we're being present in ministry or wherever, people aren't sneaking surreptitious glances at our feet and thinking, "God god awmighty, look at those toes hanging out all over the floor. I hope she doesn't break one."

"Thy sandals shall fit thy feets," saith the LORD.

PeaceBang On Busted Halo NOW!

2007-04-26T20:08:00.000-04:00

If you're up and you have Sirius Radio, I'll be on Channel 159 talking with Father Dave Dwyer of "The Busted Halo Show" in about 15 minutes.

Love, PB

Interview Freak-Out

2007-04-26T09:18:00.001-04:00

Interview Freak-Out
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

My goodness, what an anxious letter THIS is! Let's see what this Job Seeking Reader has to say:

"Dear PeaceBang,

I'm going for a job interview this weekend and I'm freaking out mildly and I dont know what it says about my life that I keep wailing to myself 'PEACEBANG is the ONLY one who can HELLLLP' but that's the truth of hte matter.

So, what do you suggest? I need an outfit that can:
1. ride in the car for three hours
2. go to lunch at a nice-ish restaurant
3. go for a walking tour of the neighborhood and then one of the church (this second part is scheduled to last an hour! How is that possible? I'm thinking that we must be hitting the attic and the boiler room which for sure means dust...)
4. interview for 1.5 hours
5. go to dinner at someone's house

Do I wear the same thing all day? Or do I change out of travel clothes for the interview part? And then change again for the dinner after the interview? I feel like I'm going to the Oscars.

FYI: [The weather where I am going] will either be 40 degrees and raining or 70 degrees and sunny, but most likely both of these, and all the degrees in between, too.

Also, at the meals, what do I eat? Do I pull a Scarlett and have a big meal before so they don't see what a chow hound I am, and also so that I can TALK without my mouth being full?

Any wisdom you can throw my way -confidentially if it's ok as I"m job hunting on the sly more or less - would be so much appreciated."

Here's PeaceBang again, ya'll (I can't do fancy things with fonts or italics, since I'm unable to post through Blogger and am writing this through Flickr):

Well, my dear, that is indeed a doozie, and PeaceBang and her readers are *here for you.* We have ALL been there. We feel you.

First of all, if you can possibly steal a few moments to freshen up and change after your journey of three hours, do. At least spritz your face with some rose water, take a few moments alone to stretch and breathe, brush your teeth, blow your nose and apply fresh lipstick.
You'll feel ready for anything. You'll BE ready for anything!

I think a good outfit choice would be a patterned skirt (maybe an Indian print, nothing too florally-cutesy) , a classic cotton tank with some spandex in it to give it shape and dressiness factor, and a cardigan. You can leave the cardigan off on the trip so it will be fresh when you arrive. Wear a nice necklace, and keep the colors up top deep and neutral, which projects more authority and leadership than light colors (and certainly pastels!).

A nice pair of trousers with a lovely, colorful blouse and lightweight blazer would also work, just make sure your fabrics have some poly or spandex in them for wrinkle-management. Belts can also make blouses look very sharp, and a belted shirt or blouse under an open blazer is a nice look.

You might wear comfortable but nice sandals if it's not raining too hard-- not Clarkes, but something more dressy that you can still walk around comfortably in. I noticed a slew of choices at Macy's this past weekend. A really nice, substantial flat should also be fine.

Don't plan to change clothes only because your interviewing team may not have scheduled time for you to do so, and you want to feel that whatever outfit you choose can take you confidently through the entire ordeal... um, I mean, EXPERIENCE! :-)

If you do get some time alone before dinner, by all means shower, change, do whatever helps you to re-energize, but you may just get ten minutes. And wouldn't it be kinder to yourself to spend that ten minutes breathing and praying and discerning rather than scrambling into a new set of duds and worrying if things match?

If you want to change shoes for dinner, that would be nice. Sometimes I'll wear comfortable walking-around shoes at a day event and then just change my earrings and shoes for a dinner appearance.

As for eating before you eat, it's only true that you will be doing more talking and energetically reacting than actually dining. If you're hungry, there's nothing wrong with having soup or snacks beforehand on your own. Your digestion will be better for it, and so will your presence at dinner. And if you're seen picking at your food, you can always say you're too nervous to eat. Which is true! You're too nervous to eat... in front of a group of people who are interviewing you for a ministerial position! Riiight?
But honey, don't snarf down a bucket o' chicken or a big bag of Taco Bell before dinner: you'll just look puffy and you might get a grease spot on your blouse.

Seriously, though, you can always write to me (my e-mail address is always on the margins of the page, kittycats) and send photos.
This is a big occasion and we want you to feel 100% the shining star you are.

Blessings, and let us know how it goes!!
Kiss of Peace,
PB

(P.S. Readers, the photo is random. It is not a photo of our anonymous and reverend letter writer!)

Do You Have "A LOOK?"

2007-04-25T22:27:00.001-04:00

Do You Have "A LOOK?"
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

I adored Terrance McNally's play "Master Class," which features an imperious Maria Callas mentoring and tormenting three singers during a master class, and generally just oozing fabulous diva-dom.

(PeaceBang would like to say, as an editorial aside, that the word "diva" is ENTIRELY over-used today. Maria Callas was a DIVA. Kelly Clarkson is not a diva. Queen Latifah is a queen. And a diva. So is Michael Kors, for that matter, which is why we worship them. Celine Dion, for all her histrionics, is not a diva. Canada, I know that hurts. But it had to be said.)

Anyway, in the play, Maria Callas repeatedly accuses the students of not having a Look.
"You don't have a LOOK," she says, but in her Greek accent it sounds more like, "You don' hev alooook."

As I sat in the center of the orchestra watching Dixie Carter chew the hell out of this fantastic role the many years ago I saw it, I thought to myself, "UH-oh... I don' hevaloook." Heving a looook is hard to do when you're pretty much limited to Lane Bryant couture, but by God, Maria, from that day forward, I tried. I think my Look -- on the days that I have one -- could be described as "Vaguely Bohemian Plus-Sized Professional." Some days it's just "Please Give Me Some Credit For Accessorizing." And in the summer it's "21st Century Babushka."

I was fondly reminded of Maria Callas this afternoon when I stepped off the hospital elevator at the 4th floor and sucked in my breath when I saw none other than Holly Hobby walk by with a clipboard. She was middle-aged ("Holly! Girl, it's been so LONG!") and smiling, wearing a long jumper with a gingham-checked pinafore top, ankle socks and little tan lace-up booties. Not the sexed-up, high-heeled kind of little booties, but the kind Laura Ingalls might have actually worn to go milk the cows.

As I was taking all of this in out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that the door Dr. Hobby was closing behind her was similarly adorned with a gingham heart plaque. And then I got it: this was her Look!
Whether Dr. Hobby just personally liked gingham hearts or was channeling that Jane Seymour pioneer doctor-lady character from that show whose name I've forgotten, or thought that her prairie fashion might be comforting to patients, I will never know. But this I do know: girl was rocking that gingham jumper with confidence and pride, and while I probably would have begged to be seen by another physician if I was under her care, she certainly had a Look.

I honestly think if she roughed it up with a few of those Jane Seymour buckskins, she might be able to pull it off. Even some denim. Something to break up the treacly little girl effect. But hey, give her credit for making a statement, however puzzling that statement may be.

Go get your Look on!

PeaceBang On "The Busted Halo Show" This Thursday

2007-04-25T12:27:00.000-04:00

Dearly beloved,

Yours Truly will be interviewed by Father Dave Dwyer on The Busted Halo Show on the Catholic Channel (Sirius Radio Chanel 159) on Thursday night, April 26, at 8:20 p.m.

I hope you can tune in.

Make-Up That Protects

2007-04-24T07:06:00.000-04:00

Continuing our thoughts about how to protect la visage from the ravages of le soleil, PeaceBang has been investigating the virtues and vices of make-up that forms a natural and protective barrier on the skin by way of minerals.

She recommends L'Oreal Bare Naturale, http://www1.epinions.com/content_246490828420
and she recommends Bare Minerals.
Both of these make-ups -- one drugstore available and affordable, and other available at finer cosmetics emporia -- are applied with the tap-swirl-buff method, or perhaps the swirl-tap-buff method. Tap! Buff! Swirl! Buff! Tap! In any order, it's all kinds of fun!

Believe me, though, the application is easy once you get the hang of it. You turn over the container and whap it on the bottom to get some of the powder going, open the top, swirl your brush into the product, tap the excess off (into the garbage can for me, else it gets all over the vanity table), and buff it over the face with circular motions. It provides terrific, natural coverage that hasn't yet irritated my very sensitive skin, and it has a natural SPF of 15!! PeaceBang calls that pretty swell.

(I've heard bad things about Neutrogena Mineral Sheers, btw, and don't recommend it.)

A word of caution: these mineral based powder make-ups won't work nearly as well if you don't regularly exfoliate and moisturize your skin. And a word of encouragement: hey fellas, PeaceBang thinks that you could totally get away with wearing this on your face without looking like you're wearing make-up. Let me know if you've tried it!

The lovely people at Illuminare provided PeaceBang with samples of their entire line of liquid mineral make-up for those of you who aren't so much into swirling, tapping and buffing.

Illuminare stakes claim as the first producers of liquid mineral make-up and their products are really terrific. They have three different formulas of foundation, all of which PeaceBang found to her liking and easily applied with a nifty little leopard-print sponge they provided.

Because the product is very concentrated, you do need to take a few moments to blend, blend, blend around the nose, mouth and eyes, especially. You need only to use a pea-sized drop and it will easily cover your whole face. The make-up is extremely pure, it provides excellent sun protection (but do use a sunscreen underneath, always), and fantastic coverage. In fact, I would even wear this stuff on stage.

It goes on a little dramatic at first, but it settles into the skin and looks beautiful. It provides a bit more coverage than I usually like ( I tend to use a blendable base only on the red areas of my face) but given that it's pure and provides SPF, I may become a convert.

Say amen, somebody!

Technical Difficulties Continue

2007-04-23T21:38:00.000-04:00

My friends,
PeaceBang is sorry to share with you her difficulties with blogger.com, google.com and how they interface with msn.com.

In God's kingdom, there will be no .coms at all. PeaceBang thinks that perhaps heaven is a place where you need no passwords and security codes, and never need to sign in.

Go be beautiful, and we'll figure it all out.

It all started back when I was forced to switch to the "new" Blogger, and then to get a google account, and then to start adding more passwords and so on to my already-complicated world of passwords.

Sorry not to be able to post or respond to comments regularly.

Blessings to all, PB

WomenSpirit Robe Sale!

2007-04-23T12:29:00.000-04:00

Darlings!

WomenSpirit robes is having a sale, 15% off from now 'til May 20th!!

www.womenspirit.com

Thanks to Sarah for the hot tip!

Here Comes The Sun, Little Darlings

2007-04-23T11:43:00.001-04:00

Here Comes The Sun, Little Darlings
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Here on the Eastern seaboard, Bostonian-type people are wandering around in a happy daze, squinting like little moles and bumping into each other because the sun is finally out and we can't *see* anything!

PeaceBang is sure she doesn't have to remind you that the sun is getting more and more dangerous to human Earthlings all the time. So darlings, for real, please make serious sun protection a non-optional part of your daily toilette.

Find a good sunscreen with UVA/UBA protection and apply it DAILY, paying special attention to your face. Make sure your nose is covered. Get back into your hairline, where so many cancerous moles can develop. Keep your head covered if you're going to be outdoors for a long period of time. Protect your ears.

If you have sensitive skin and react badly to chemical sunscreens, PeaceBang encourages you to look into titanium dioxide-based sunblock, or any other of the physical sunblocks that are widely available on the market. These will not irritate your skin like the more typical old-school sunscreens.

PeaceBang Recommends

Highly Recommended

http://tinyurl.com/2amb2t
Derma Doctor Body Guard SPF 30. This is a fantastic product by Dr. Audrey Kunin that treats your skin as it protects it. It does not go on white and greasy even on dark black skins, absorbs beautifully, and kept the very fair-skinned PeaceBang from burning this weekend, which is amazing. $25 for 4oz.

Murad Oilfree Sunblock SPF 30
Wonderful smell, easily available, goes on well and lasts. $30

Peter Thomas Roth Ultralite Oilfree Sunblock
Slightly medicinal smell, but goes on very well and doesn't have much of a greasy sheen to it. $26

Not So Recommended
Bliss Oilfree Sunban Face SPF 30+
This goes on very liquidy, and has a slightly chickeny smell. Yuck. $27

Jason's Sunbrella Sunblock
A great buy at $11 but goes on like clown white. While I was able to rub it into my fair skin and look slightly less conspicuously white than Marcel Marceau, I cannot recommend it for anyone but the lightest of skins, and even then it leaves a weird other-worldly glow that may lead your friends to suspect that you've been taking pinches of arsenic.

Please, readers, submit your own favorites in the comments section! I use Neutrogena and Aveeno products myself, and highly recommend the Neutrogena (Aveeno seems to sweat right off). However, in the interest of not having to buy too many skin care products, I like to take advantage of the generous sample policy offered by Sephora, where their salesclerks are always incredibly helpful and willing to discuss the finer points of titanium dioxide with me and to let me smell, feel and take notes on every kind of product they offer. Kisses to them!

An Extremely Effective Beauty Treatment

2007-04-23T11:12:00.001-04:00

Spring NYC 2007 088
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Absolutely free, available to anyone, anywhere, and good for your blood pressure, too!!

Reading Image In Times Of Crisis

2007-04-19T20:21:00.001-04:00

katie couric
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Ahh, you think that PeaceBang's insistence that clergypeople try to project an image consciously rather than unconsciously is silly, do you?

You think that PeaceBang banging the drum of being camera-ready in a highly visual world is frivolous, do ye?

You wonder why PeaceBang is trying so hard to get religious leaders to pay closer attention to the details of their voice, posture, presence and comportment, dost thou?

Today's New York Times, a periodical not exactly known for its frivolity, analyzes the television coverage of the Virginia Tech shootings by several major network anchors, including NBC's Katie Couric and ABC's Charles Gibson:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/19/arts/television/19watc.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

Charles Gibson is praised for his authenticity and for "keeping an even keel," while Brian Williams of the "NBC Nightly News" turns "long-winded and cloying" in personal interviews.

Miss Couric, "who anchored Monday's broadcast in white slacks and very little make-up to signal to viewers that she was hard at work in the field," is criticized for emoting on camera with "gauzy, sorrowful looks." Mr. Gibson is described as "rumpled, pleasant and serious" onscreen.

PeaceBang brings this article to your attention nout not to say that it is fair, or that it is even good journalism, or to start a kind of American Idol competition between news anchors, but simply to point out that contemporary Americans are becoming more and more expert readers of image, and more and more conscious of how those who seek their trust gain it through a combination of personal relationship, public trustworthiness, and that ineffable thing called "presence."

We must know all that we can about our own pastoral and leadership presence. We are responsible for it. We have been trained well, most of us, to be deeply in touch with our insides. Being in touch with our outsides is different work, and challenging work, but it matters. Oh, it matters, my friends.

Personal to Miss Couric: Yes, I agree with you that it was snide and sexist for the NY Times to comment on your make-up or lack thereof, but you're powerful enough to let that roll off your back, I hope. As for white slacks, why not a nice navy? At least 'til after Memorial Day? White seems a little beachy for such a tragic story.

Professor Lucinda Roy

2007-04-19T12:10:00.001-04:00

Professor Lucinda Roy
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Darlings, PeaceBang hasn't felt much like being your cheeky correspondent this week, but she feels that she should say aloud what we're all thinking,

"Professor Lucinda Roy, you are one class act."

Seriously. Amidst the horrors of the Virginia Tech massacre, Dr. Roy has spoken to the media several times about her experience with the profoundly troubled Cheo Seung-Hui. On every occasion that I've seen, she has been composed, articulate, compassionate, and dressed in a manner that communicates total respect for her profession and her school.

Let us watch, and learn, and hope to God that we are never put in a similar situation.

Lord have mercy.

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia

2007-04-18T21:47:00.001-04:00

Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Maureen McCormick, honey, you don't NEED to go on "Celebrity Fit Club." You're fine; you don't need to go on a special television show to lose weight and humiliate yourself. Just cut back on the Twizzlers and the tuna melts. PeaceBang only wishes she was that "overweight!"

You may, however, choose to enroll in "Celebrity Eyeshadow Rehab," where they'll teach you that it's really not necessary to match your eye shadow to your dress. There can even be a big televised finale where you fling your hideous blue eyeshadow into the garbage, fully reformed.

Also, Maureen? White go-go boots? And... no, I'm not even going to talk about the dress. You're Marcia Brady and that gives you special immunity.

[Thanks to the Fug Girls for the photo]

Techno Wonkiness Continues

2007-04-14T21:04:00.000-04:00

Beloveds, my computer and its crazy little cookies and passwords and things are still mixed up, and this interferes with my ability to read and post to the blog and to my peacebang e-mail.

So far so good, but I had some e-mails from earlier this week that I hadn't seen and wanted to let you know what was going on.

The Footwear Anti-Christ Has Possessed My Soul

2007-04-14T21:02:00.001-04:00

The Footwear Anti-Christ Has Possessed My Soul
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

You can all light a candle and say a prayer for PeaceBang, who is sitting at her desk wearing a pair of GREEN CROCS.

I can hear you gasping across two continents and eight nations (Great Britain, Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Spain, New Zealand, the United States and Canada).

I know. I know. But they were on sale for $4.99 at the Christmas Tree Shop and I needed them for gardening and then I put them on because my feet hurt and lo and behold, I am wearing Crocs. I, the Anti-Croc Crusader. I, the Official Hater and Despiser of Crocs.

People, I am humbled.

But my feet feel great.

And Get Me a Pair While You're At It!!

2007-04-14T12:24:00.001-04:00

And Get Me a Pair While You're At It!!
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Thanks to m'dear Philocrites for sending this along...

From http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1607265,00.html:

"Women do spend $1,069--$246 more than men do--on clothing every year, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics 2004-2005 Consumer Expenditure Survey.
But that's chump change compared with what single men spend on car ownership ($846 more than single women), eating out ($752 more), alcoholic drinks ($280 more) and audiovisual gear ($143 more).
Cutting back on needless spending isn't a bad idea for anyone, but 'renegotiating your credit-card balances or getting a lower cost on your IRA probably saves you a lot more money,' says Christian Weller, an economist at the Center for American Progress. 'That's much more prudent advice to women than saying 'Don't go buying all those Prada shoes.'"

You have PeaceBang's full permission to join her in lusting after these Prada beauties. Because despite Jesus' admonition, darlings, lusting is FREE.

More On Capris, Eyebrows and My Identity

2007-04-13T15:16:00.001-04:00

You are delightful, readers o' mine.

I awoke this morn quite the Miss Crankypants but as soon as I read your comments on my last post, I cheered right up.

First, the matter of the capri-length pants.

Some more thoughts.
1. Shorter-length pants are sporty. Period. The only gals who can get away with dressing them up are 21-year old Hollywood types who might pair them with gold strappy sandals and a lap dog and therefore make them "dressy" by Los Angeles-area standards. To pull this off, you need a perma-tan, a sports car, a $3,000 little purse and long blonde hair. Do not try this at home.

For most of us, capri-length pants (and Lord have mercy, let's not get shorter than calf-length for ministry work!) are much too youthful and casual for Being Taken Seriously In. They look clean and polished on slim women of average height but for taller women, they look silly, and for short women, they make us look shorter. For heavy women, they're singularly inelegant.

You may love capris with sneakers, my doves, but they do not necessarily love you back. Unless you're on a picnic with congregants, PeaceBang sternly admonishes you to put down the sneakers and leave them for days off.

You may be seeing "shorts suits" in the fashion magazines, but that's a whole different animal. Suits with dressy shorts are an option being marketed to fashionable professional gals, but PeaceBang thinks that not only are they aesthetically hideous, they're fairly impossible for all but the most sartorially talented to pull off well, or at all.

Scott, you didn't appreciate the fact that the "before" picture of Eyebrow Boy made him look like an ax murderer? Where's your appreciation for the finer manipulative points of advertising?! How else should he look but hangdog, shadowy and ominous?
:::chortle, chortle:::

Ms. Dom from Seattle, I am indeed a real life minister. When I'm not channeling my irrepresible alter ego, PeaceBang, I'm serving this lovely congregation: www.firstparishnorwell.org and you're most welcome to acquaint yourself with the deep work of my heart on the sermons link. Not that blogging isn't also the deep work of my heart, but in a different way.

And hey everyone, YogaToes really do work! I've been using them for about a week now, for about an hour at a time, and my toe is in much better shape, and no foot pain!!

2007-04-13T12:08:00.001-04:00

blogger probs, blogger probs... testing, testing..

What To Wear With Shorter Pants

2007-04-12T21:33:00.000-04:00

A loyal reader inquires as to what kind of shoesies we should wear with the shorter pants that are popular in the spring and summer.

A nice sandal with pedicured toes and SOFT, CLEAN HEELS would be nice. On your feet, I mean, not just the shoe. It's only April and we're already getting into some dire Sandal Situations, about which more later.

A dressy flat is also nice.

If you're just around the office, a chunky casual sandal is fine, but pair it with a more polished top than just a tee-shirt. It's obviously a very "casual Friday" kind of look, and not something you would ever wear on a Sunday or to an evening church event.

PeaceBang is not a big fan of the shorter pant, as it is a distinctly unflattering style -- no one needs to be cut off at the calf like that -- but she understands that some of you manage to look quite cute in your little cotton pants and will persist, therefore, in wearing them. Some of us will not look cute in them, but will wear them anyway because they're comfortable, and PeaceBang herself is among this group. Especially in the hot summer which MAY COME SOMEDAY BUT YOU'D NEVER KNOW IT SINCE IT'S STILL FREEZING RAIN OUT!

What not to wear with the shorter capri-type pants are :
sneakers of any kind
Crocs
flip-flops of any kind
heavy pumps
boots, unless you're Sienna Miller

Please, please, please do not wear capris in bright colors or in frog or palm tree prints. PeaceBang's heart couldn't take it.

Cro Magnon No More!

2007-04-12T20:35:00.001-04:00

Cro Magnon
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Ah-HA! I have figured out a crafty way around Blogger problems! I will post directly through Flickr and be foiled no more!

Anyway, look how nice this man looks after having his brows waxed. No more scowly, Cro-Magnony face! Think how this could open your face in the pulpit, fellas!

I'm sure it's easy as pie to find a waxing product for gents in your local pharmacy or to walk into any salon and have it done. Tell them you don't want the ends too pointy 'cause you're not Jake Gyllenhaal and you don't need to be quite *that* groomed. It will cost you $15 and take about five minutes.

As for the male reader who wrote me recently to express his horror that I would recommend maintaining a smooth-shaven face when it costs him a tremendous sacrifice of ease and comfort to do so, I would like to say-- Darling, Easter is over. Get off the Cross. And besides, your female colleagues who daily strap themselves into brassieres, panty hose and other constraining undergarments in the effort to look polished and presentable have already cornered the market on martyrdom. So step off, brother preacher man, or I'll make you spend one whole Sunday in my heels and you'll never complain about shaving again.

He Waxes His Own Brows

2007-04-12T12:57:00.000-04:00

Lovely ones,

PeaceBang is having such a FUN week in the financial sense. Just one day after writing nice juicy checks to the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and the Internal Revenue Service, PeaceBang learned that her car needs front and back brake pads and rotors and an alignment, all to the dissonant tune of $950. Ack. Blag.
Also, it happens to be about 36 degrees and sleeting right now.
AND the Sox lost last night, and I couldn't even hate the Mariners because they actually played an awesome defense, and their pitcher ruled.

While PeaceBang is tempted to impale herself on a sharp piece of dark chocolate left over from an enormous Easter egg given her by dear congregants, she will manage to find the Strength To Go On. Because, really, there was a bright spot in her morning. It happened when she noticed that her mechanic, a young man who has a terrific goatee and crazy hair, has particularly beautiful eyebrows. So beautiful, in fact, that PeaceBang had to ask it. "Do you wax your eyebrows?" she inquired, teasingly. Our modest mechanic blushed in a manly way and declined to answer. And at that moment, PeaceBang knew that he was busted. "They're FABULOUS," she gushed, and then,"Who does them for you?"

"I do them myself," he gruffly offered, and then said, "Man, I'm outta here," barely managing to hide his smile as he stomped back to the garage. Meredith, the lovely receptionist, and I giggled madly.

So there you have it, gentlemen. If my mechanic can wax his eyebrows, so can you. I'll ask him what he uses when I go pick up my car later today.

Darlings, Having Techno Difficulties

2007-04-12T10:05:00.001-04:00

Just to say that I'm having access issues to Blogger from my home computer. Hope to have it fixed soon.

Ta-ta!

The Baron De Dandruff

2007-04-10T10:28:00.001-04:00

dandruff
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Good morning, my little yellow sugar chicks! How was your Easter?
PeaceBang's was lovely, thank you, and she feels eminently grateful that following the big day, she was able to take an actual, whole Day Off during which she slept, ate leftover chocolate torte, and read most of Jeffrey Eugenides' marvelous novel, Middlesex. I feel like a new woman! A new woman with the same body, mind, soul, personality, life situation, tax return, bitten down fingernails, family and friends, but still... relatively new. New in the spiritual sense.

Just a word about dandruff, named for the Baron De Dandruff, who was so beloved in the court of King Gustav of Sweden that all the lords and ladies could be found frantically working cheese graters over their scalps before important events in a mad effort to emulate the Baron's flaky look. In that time --and this was roughly between the time of the Vikings and the Renaissance, you understand -- you just weren't DRESSED if you didn't have big white flakes adorning your shoulders. Men and women took to wearing black shawls just to highlight their Dandruff. It was all the rage until it was revealed that the Baron de Dandruff had committed unnatural acts with lap dogs, at which time the tide of fashion and society turned against him with a vengeance.

Which is all to saythat dandruff is never a good look and if you suspect you have it, please investigate solutions. You may be turned out in your very finest, prepared to speak in the voice of Wisdom herself, and charming in every meaningful sense of the word. But if your shoulders and back are sprinkled with little bits of your scalp, my dears, the general public will generally greet you not with the admiration you deserve but with the ancient, evocative expression, known in many cultures, that sounds something like this: "eeeeeewwwww."

Robin Redbreast Convention

2007-04-07T14:41:00.001-04:00

Robin Redbreast Convention
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

I was coming home this afternoon after doing errands and saw about thirty of these dudes on the front lawn, very industrious, obviously having a very important gathering.

They're all over the backyard, too -- probably fifty of them. Have you seen the way these guys move around, all stiff-necked, very uptight and professional? They all look like they should be carrying little clipboards. But they are VERY HANDSOME. And they expect to be treated VERY SERIOUSLY.

I love them. They cut quite a figure and it will be a delight to watch them out the window as I work on the Easter service.

Discontinued Make Up

2007-04-06T08:47:00.000-04:00

Darlings, I know we all have more holy work to do than this today, but I wanted to alert you to the fact that two products I love and recommend frequently are being discontinued by the dastardly villains at CoverGirl.

They are Remarkable Washable Waterproof Mascara
and
Outlast All Day Lip Color!! (As any faithful reader of this blog knows, I wear this lip color in Blush Pearl as my base color just about every blessed day of my life)

(sounds of moaning, wailing, gnashing of teeth)

I have gone to Drugstore.com and stocked up on both products, which should last me for about two years until I find decent alternatives.

Now, get thee to church.

I'm Not a Plastic Bag

2007-04-05T21:44:00.001-04:00

I'm Not a Plastic Bag
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Brit actress Keira Knightley was recently spotted carrying this bag. It is apparently All The Rage, because it's sold out. It costs five British pounds, and no, I can't get one for you.

Rather cute statement, though, and lovely to put your daily baguette and frommage in. Oh sorry. For a moment there I thought I was in Paris.

::stares off into space dreaming of Paris, except for that really tough climb up the back stairs to Monmartre::::

Olive You So Much

2007-04-05T20:05:00.001-04:00

Olive You So Much
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Here's the thing, bun-buns:
wearing all one color is kind of geriatric.

I know that these crinkly rayon outfits are super comfy and convenient, kind of like the grown-up lady version of Garanimals ("I don't have to think about matching! They did it for me!"), but unless you're gorgeously made up with great hair, nails and accessories (or you're a model like this gal here), there's a VERY good chance that this outfit is going to look old-ladyish, and not like a cool elder babe in the ministry, but just ... old-ladyish. PeaceBang doesn't know about you, but she'll get all eccentric and wear a turban and a feather boa in her later years, God as her witness, before she'll let herself get old-ladyish.

It's lovely to dress head-to-toe in one lovely, elegant color scheme. All shades of ivory and white, mixing textures and tones: great. Charcoal gray with dove gray, moving the eye up and down the body in one beautiful line: wunderbar. But the color has to be right. The fabrics have to be rich and sumptuous, not crinkly and comfy. The shoes should be dressed up, bag and scarf and earrings also as elegant as you can make 'em. It's a suave look if you can pull it off.

HOWEVAH: Head to toe pastels are simply never going to be the best option for professional women. Simplamente diga que NO (Just Say NO!") to too much pastels. Try to avoid head-to- toe pink, or powder blue or most greens or yellows. Break up that 25 year-old royal blue suit you've got and don't ever, ever wear the jacket and the pants together. Better yet, give it away. Many of the clothes we bought in the 80's are horribly dated, my friends. If you can't see it, ask a savvy colleague or friend for their honest opinion. Dead giveaways for 80's suits are pleated pants and pegged legs. Ack!

If you're intent on wearing that matching tulip pink top and skirt together, break it up with a black jacket and black pumps if you've got important meetings. Better yet, save the duo for vacation and pair the skirt with a crisp white blouse and neutral blazer for work. Wear the top with dark denim jeans, a cardigan and a great, long set of beads. Something.

Get used to thinking about your wardrobe in separates, which are just much sharper looking than the matchy-matchy cotton outfits we love to pluck off the rack because they're so easy. Have you ever noticed that those comfy cotton outfits are always enormously unflattering? That's because they're extremely unstructured and make everyone look like a big flowy blob. It's not just you, honey. They don't really fit anyone. Ditch them for a week and see how you do with fitted trousers, skirts and blouses. Add a belt. Wear clothing that actually zips. You'll walk straighter, sit up in your chair with more poise and walk with more confidence. If you're over 65, ignore me. You've earned your right to those comfy cotton items.

But I digress. Those of us under 65 should realize that wearing head-to-toe colors that aren't neutral age us like crazy. Our better bet, as I've said before, is to dress in the best quality neutral fabrics we can find (whites and ivories, browns, grays, blues, blacks), and use bold or pastel colors as accents.

We're talking about solids here. We'll get to patterns later. After Easter. I just had a bad flashback to the time a UU woman wore a very loud-patterned kind of beach sarong item while leading worship. I think she thought it was flowy and spiritual looking, but my companion and I sort of thought she might pronounce the benediction and start blending up a pitcher of margaritas. Which wouldn't be a bad thing, necessarily, just not terribly appropriate.

Pass the jellybeans, I've got to get back to my sermon.

Kiss of peace!

xoxo PB

Beauty Tips Is One Year Old This Week! Good Friday Attire

2007-04-05T19:32:00.000-04:00

My dear and faithful powder pigeons,

Can you believe that BTFM is one year old this week?

It all started last year when I posted Make-Up For Ministers 101 on my regular blog and my sister said, "You have to start a separate blog for this." And I said, "Oh, don't be ridic. What would I have to say beyond about five posts?"
And she said, "There's tons of stuff to talk about! You'd love it!"
And I said "Nuh UH," and she said, "Yuh-HUH" and you know how it is with pushy big sisters.
She got her way, I came up with the thrillingly original name Beauty Tips For Ministers, and here we ARE.

I'm gearing up for Good Friday and Easter and have decided that I really like the posts I wrote a year ago, so for your reminiscence or fresh enjoyment, may we present from the Archives,

http://beautytipsforministers.blogspot.com/2006_04_09_archive.html!!

Enjoy!

Here in New England it's positively freezing, so any bright ideas I had about wearing cute little skirts for church this weekend are just shot to Hell. I may wear trousers for Good Friday services in the city. I won't be robed, I won't be sitting on any kind of dais, it's a very progressive community, and a black trousers-and-blazer combo should suit the occasion quite well.

I may wear a stole although I know my colleagues don't like it and it's not strictly kosher, you should forgive the expression.

I would love to wear a beautiful, fairly big cross I bought in Salt Lake City about 8 years ago, but there's something about wearing a beautiful empty cross on Good Friday that seems not quite appropriate. Too full of grace, too comforting, too triumphant. Maybe I should deny myself the pleasure of wearing the cross until Sunday. Maybe tomorrow should just be unadorned. Or...seriously... pearls?

It's a good thing I did start this blog, chickens, because honestly, where else could you ask that question and not fear getting stoned by a vindictive crowd?

On Being Tired And Resurrection: The Show Must Go On

2007-04-03T10:58:00.000-04:00

Dearest and cherished readers,

It is rainy and cold again today, and promises to remain that way through Friday.

PeaceBang's spirit is saying, "It's HOLY WEEK! It's JESUS TIME! Get up and dance, girl, proclaim the good news, live the sacred story, bring on the faith and the passion, rejoice!"

And PeaceBang's body is saying, "Do we have to get out of our pajamas? Are you sure we have to get out of our pajamas?"

So the body and the spirit are consulting with one another and making compromises. The body says, "Listen, we did great work last week even though we had a nasty stomach bug -- we showed up for people, we crafted a lovely funeral service for someone we loved and presided at it on Friday, we put pedal to the metal all day Saturday and came up with a really creative Palm Sunday service which we led on Sunday morning with a tremendous amount of energy and engagement. PLUS, we got all dressed up several times last week, with hair and make-up and everything, when we really didn't even want to get out of bed and couldn't digest anything. How 'bout some COMBAT PAY, here?"

And the spirit says, "I hear you. I totally hear you. You are terrific, you're awesome, you rock. Thank you. But really, this is HOLY WEEK and I can't give you a break quite yet. Please please PLEASE could you come through for me again? And then in late June we can just totally collapse?"

The body says, "LATE JUNE? Are you NUTS? JUNE!? Tell you what, spirit. You go find me a good Minister's Wife to take care of all the things that need doing around here, like cooking, laundry, cleaning, errands and keeping up personal relationships with family and such, and we can talk about my taking off time in JUNE."

Spirit: "I'll talk to my people and we'll see what we can do."

Can I get a witness, pastors? Did Paul not know what he was talking about when he said that the spirit was willing but the flesh was weak? It's one thing when our mood matches our physical weariness -- when we're grumpy and cranky, and the body feels like a big leaden lump we're dragging around with us.
But when our spirit is up and full of good mojo, brimming over with bright ideas and plans, and the body refuses to get with the program the spirit has laid out...?

What do you do?

PeaceBang has made a decision. Having given the body lots of rest yesterday, she is going to push it a bit today and see how it does. She is going to get to the gym and gently drag it onto the treadmill and maybe onto the elliptical cross-trainer in the hopes that some blood flowing through the veins may enliven it. She is going to wash and style her hair-- the mere notion of which seems tiring right now -- and put on some lipstick. She may even schedule a massage, and (pagan alert!) do a ritual of strengthening tonight as the full moon begins to wane.

The point is, darlings, there is a time to rest and heal, and a time to say, "Alright now, up and at 'em." There is a time to pray for strength (I did all last week and was abundantly blessed in response) and a time to take the reins ourselves and say, "I can keep slowing down until I stop, or I can kick up my engines a bit, do what I know how to do to increase my energy, and go for it."

PeaceBang comes from the theatre world where we had an old expression that says,"The show must go on." It is no different in religious leadership. Not only must we remain vigilant that the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts be acceptable in God's sight, but -- and this PeaceBang's gospel -- we should even have our hair done and our lipstick on and our suits pressed and our smiles authentically in place when we appear in community to do this work.

Yes, it can be exhausting and we can become truly depleted. But darlings, trust me on this one, unless we have a medical condition that prevents us from showing up to do the work of the Lord in the most beautiful condition possible, we should try to do so. Because you know, I know, and God knows that the sense of dignity, self-esteem and other-esteem that comes from being well-turned out is a big part of how we reinvigorate the tired body at the end of winter or any time.

Let me tell you a story, powder pigeons. You may have heard this before.

When PeaceBang was 17 years old, she was the Star Of the School Play,"Bells Are Ringing." On the Tuesday before opening night, she returned home from dress rehearsal to see a lot of cars in her driveway. Full of herself and her incipient stardom, Young PeaceBang thought to herself, "Oh, everyone's coming in early to see the show!" But it was not the case. MotherBang met her at the bottom of the staircase to give her the shattering news that her father had died of a heart attack that afternoon. The cars in the driveway belonged to PeaceBang's uncles, her father's brothers.

That Friday, April 5, 1983, Young PeaceBang arose, dressed in a lovely turquoise blue dress and attended her adored father's funeral at the Unitarian Universalist Church in Westport, Connecticut. After the funeral, she had her hair done by Bobby Cuda at his salon, and at 6:30 that evening she arrived backstage to begin making up for opening night. By 8:00 p.m. she was onstage in the role of the effervescent character Ella Peterson, and took her bows at 10:30 p.m.

Of course I could have chosen not to appear in the show. Everyone would have understood: the cast, the crew, the orchestra, the proud parents and friends who were looking forward to seeing their loved ones perform in the pit or on the stage. But Young PeaceBang knew something that she believes yet today: the show must go on, because "the show" -- whatever it is, is a transcendent reality in and of itself that represents the collective vision and effort of a community, and must therefore be honored.

The Easter story could have ended like this: "And the tomb was empty, and God resurrected Jesus from the dead and he lived for many peaceful years in a cave far distant from Emmaus, meditating on the wonders of the LORD and praying for the people."

But it didn't. It ended where it began, in community, where it continues today and where it never ends.

You, my friends, have the glorious charge of bringing that story alive in the hearts and lives of your people. So buck up, shine up, wake up, step up, get backstage early enough to do your hair and make-up, learn your lines, say your prayers, warm-up with your orchestra, stretch out those dancing limbs, and give yourselves over body, mind and soul to the incarnation of this Good News. PeaceBang is telling you, wherever you are, however weary you think you are, you have it within you. Go bring it. Give the gift.

Carl Davis Weinstein
December 19, 1933- April 5, 1983
His ashes are interred beneath the pear tree in front of the New Canaan Police Station on South Ave. just outside of town on the way to Darien. There is a plaque. His obit in The New York Times claims that he has a degree from University of Connecticut and a master's from Columbia. Someone was padding his resume post-mortem, as he had neither an undergraduate nor a master's degree!! I know he took some courses at UConn, but as far as I know, he never got anywhere near Columbia. I have no idea where that came from!
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9E07E1DA1E39F93BA35757C0A965948260

Young PeaceBang pictured backstage in very scary stage hair and make-up (but those upper arms! Ah, youth and bygone slim figures!) with Christopher Jeffries as "Jeffrey Moss." Chris is a noted American composer living in Seattle. http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=15922

The Elegant Mr. Kevin Spacey

2007-04-02T22:20:00.001-04:00

Elegant Mr. Spacey
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Hello darlings!
Are we holy yet? Are your Maundy Thursday homilies written, the Communion bread baked, the candles ordered, the baptismal fonts scrubbed (with something non-abrasive, of course), and the silver polished? Are your Easter sermons coming together in your mind, at least, if not yet on paper?

Mine is, I'm happy to tell you. I climbed into bed today with Walter Bruegemann and Fred Craddock-- with their writings, I mean, you naughty kittens-- and got totally inspired. Not only did I get my Easter sermon off of these two fine gents, I'll have the pleasure of meeting them in person at the Festival of Homiletics in Nashville this May. Picture a cartoon PeaceBang with stars instead of pupils in her eyes!

Speaking of fine gents, I have always thought that Kevin Spacey was one fine specimen of gentleman. He's always impeccably groomed and turned out, and he has a terrific sense of personal style.

I'm curious about a few things:

1. Is Kevin Spacey intentionally trying to evoke a more elegant era, or is his nattiness entirely intuitive?

2. Are Kevin Spacey's style choices a tribute to his old-school acting mentors like Jack Lemon and Jason Robarts? (That would be interesting, because I remember Jason in an old comfortable cardigan sweater. But that was at home. I don't know what he wore in public. )

3. Did the fact that Kevin Spacey is totally and effortlessly swellegant contribute to the Old Vic's decision to hire an AMERICAN actor to be their Artistic Director? I mean, they never offered the job to Marlon Brando or any other American -- even one who wasn't a falling down drunk womanizer. What an honor for our Kev!

4. How does Kevin's soigne persona contribute to his success as fundraiser and steward of his venerable institution?

5. Does he ever wear jeans to work? If so, what kind?

6. Would he let me interview him after the matinee of "Moon For the Misbegotten" on April 18th? Because I am a HUGE FAN, and also in that kind of charmingly delusional way I have, I feel that we would crack each other up and have a grand old time. But a brief grand old time, because I imagine that's a pretty grueling performance and one must rest before the 8:00 show.

Our April Fool

2007-04-01T15:07:00.000-04:00

Oh darlings!
PeaceBang is so tired that she just sat and cackled helplessly over this video of Brenda Dickson sharing fashion and make-up tips from the height of the over-opulent, cheezy 80's:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5cS07X06VY

Thank you, thank you to whoever sent this to me. GOD love you, honey. I really needed that.

That vapid voice! That enormous hair! The way she says "joory" instead of "jewelry!"

Best lines:

"Ostrich feathers, anyone?"
"Snake and jeans are always a great look."
"Here, I've added a fox."
(apparently in Brenda Dickson's glamorous world, one needn't specify that one is wearing, for instance, snake BOOTS or a fox STOLE... it's just "snake" or "fox." And given her penchant for snake, fox, ostrich and leather, Miz Dickson's going to have some mighty karma to work out in her next lives!)

Don't quit watching before the vid's over because you'll miss Bren totally fall apart at the end, where she loses her grammatical skills entirely and says things like, "You can wear burgundy or a real, real dark orange rouge" and "I powder very very good, because that really sets the make-up."

Have a laugh on me, dear ones. We're heading into Holy Week, and we need all the laughter, rest and good energy we can muster.

Your Dear Hard-Working Tootsies

2007-03-30T07:34:00.000-04:00

Good morning, angels!

I have just ordered a little item called "Yoga Toes" from an outfit called YogaPro, and wondered if any of you have personal experience with their product:

http://www.yogapro.com/ts/toestretcher.html

I got them because I realized last summer that I have the beginnings of a BUNION on my right foot (what a horrid word! which is why you must prounounce it in the French manner, like "bun-yoh") and my massage therapist Eddie says my little toesies need to be in alignment more often. I asked him What does that mean, Eddie? What are you saying? I should be wearing ...
SENSIBLE SHOES or something?"

And he said all kinds of lovely and comforting things, because he knows and accepts me and he understands that SENSIBLE SHOES are just not in the stars for me at this time in my life. But he said that this bump on my right foot is telling me that I need to pull my toes into alignment and so I went and got these Yoga Toes. I'm looking forward to trying them, and will report back to you. Hot tip: If you want to order some yourself, you can use "ALR" as a coupon code and get $15 off!

Seriously, though, a good massage therapist is one of life's most beautiful blessings. Especially ones who sometimes send you out the door all calm and put-back-together and then absolutely refuse any money at all because, impossible as it is to believe, they just care about you and want to give you back some of the healing and energy that you're putting out. Talk about angels.

'Brellies Are An Accessory, Too!

2007-03-29T21:40:00.000-04:00

Don't forget to pick up a nice, bright umbrella before April showers begin.

They're not expensive, and you need a good, sturdy dark one for sombre occasions. But hey, why not treat yourself to a cute, bright one that will look smart with your trench coat? I'm rather fond of this, myself:

http://www.umbrellas.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=21622a-treefrogs&Category_Code=AU&Product_Count=4

But I'm more likely to pick up something in bright stripes from Target.

A New Mama Writes In!

2007-03-29T18:34:00.000-04:00

Darlings, March came in like a lion and is going out like another lion! Whooee, is it windy! PeaceBang put her garbage out on the curb last night and was afraid all night that the wind would blow it all over the yard, which would have been just disgusting! And given her stomach virus, even more disgusting than usual!

Was that my out-loud voice speaking those uncouth thoughts?
I do apologize, dears. And here it is just around dinner time, too.

Well, PeaceBang will not be eating dinner, but at least she's feeling well enough to stamp around the house yelling, "I WANT REAL FOOD! I AM TIRED OF PRETZELS AND SALTINES! I WANT LINGUINI WITH CLAM SAUCE!" Funny, because linguini with clam sauce was a favorite in the Weinstein household growing up, but it is not a dish PeaceBang has ever eaten in her entire adult life. She must be hankering for Tastes of Home. More specifically, she is hankering for the comforting sounds of Shirley in the kitchen. Well, that just does it. I am making some plain linguini as soon as I finish this posting, digestive tract be damned. If God hadn't wanted us to eat linguini five days into a mysterious intestinal infection, He wouldn't have given us Immodium and Gatorade.

This letter came to us today from the wilds of North Hampshire, or New Hampshire, I think they call it. One of those perfectly charming New England states, anyway. Our note reads:

Dear Peacebang,

I'm [SS], a fellow UU minister serving in New Hampshire, and I had to write to you to tell you I am a huge fan of Beauty Tips for Ministers. I came back from maternity leave to my ministry this fall, and found myself (despite the reduction in my sleep) re-energized for church work. Woo-hoo! But a few months later, I realized I needed to re-energize my own bodily self as well, to get back to showing the world "I feel great in the body God gave me" instead of "good God, what did pregnancy do to me"? And BTFM was there to help. You have inspired me to get an actual hairstyle and an actual hairdryer, and to pay attention to how I look as I go out the door every day, baby or no baby. Thanks!

By the way, the makeup items I cannot live without are Touch Base for Eyes by Clinique in Petal Shimmer and Juicy Tubes lipgloss by Lancome in Tickled Pink. Plus some concealer and mascara, this is my weekday, no-one-will-be-taking-my-picture regimen.

Now readers, how cute is this woman? She is full of energy, she has a new babe, she took the time to write an appreciative letter to PeaceBang, and she beautifully articulates the message we communicate when we make that extra effort to add a little shine and polish to our look. I couldn't have said it better, so let me repeat her words, "I feel great in the body God gave me."

Brava, Reverend Mama, thanks for the recommendations and the note, and all good blessings on you, your ministry and your new little one!

Kiss of peace,
xoxox PB

Our reader recommends:

Clinique Touch Base for Eyes in Petal Shimmer
Lancome Juicy Tubes lip gloss in Tickled Pink

Alloy.com: Your Source For Super-Cheap, Fun Clothes

2007-03-27T19:32:00.000-04:00

This is a great website to visit when you want to get in touch with your inner teeny-bopper:

http://store.alloy.com/frontpage.do?commTrack=shopChannelFromHome

Here's the thing. They carry youthful, very of-the-moment clothing. It's extremely cheaply- made but hey, it's also cheap.

You can add some interesting pieces to your closet without spending much money at all, and as soon as it falls apart (like, the day after tomorrow), it won't be in style anymore! What's not to love?

PeaceBang has an secret Extreme Bohemian side that she likes to indulge when she's home alone, and bought two smock tops and a pair of crazy wide-legged pants from Alloy for about $35. They're incredibly soft and comfortable, they bring me back to my Wiccan-oriented grad school days (Jen, you'll be the only reader out there who gets the appropriate visual on that one!), and they're a nice break from the grown-up world.

Enjoy, darlings.

UU Minister Man-Head

2007-03-26T21:08:00.001-04:00

UU Minister Man Head
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

I saw this photo on the celebrity fashion-dish blog "Go Fug Yourself" and screamed. Do we not all know a Unitarian Universalist male minister who has manscaping exactly like this?

WE DO.

And it's time it STOPPED.

This look, which I am just now dubbing "Swinging Seventies Pastor," is DATED, boys! It's time to cut the hair shorter -- I know, you have fabulous flowing locks and you want to show them off, but if you're doing a beard and 'stache at the same time, you CAN'T.

I know my boys are partial to their facial hair, but given that a HUGE percentage of our clergy have it, wouldn't it be cool if more of our guys put away the stereotypical grooming habits of the past just, you know, to see how it feels?

You can always grow it back, right?

Meanwhile, I'm not even mentioning the horrors of this outfit.

Gee, I must be feeling better! Stomach flu seems to agree with me!

Jesus Had Tats!

2007-03-26T20:54:00.001-04:00

Jesus Tat
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

To the lovely reader who wrote to me recently asking what I think of tattoos on the Gen X crowd, all I can say is,

Hey, if tats were good enough for Jesus, they're good enough for PeaceBang!!
That said, if PeaceBang sees one more young lass in low-rider pants sporting one of those Celtic knot designs just above her posterior, she's going to fling her iced decaf latte at the nearest innocent bystander and scream something incoherent about how posting other culture's spiritual symbols above your butt or anywhere else on your person does not make you COOL, it just makes you -- in about sixty years -- another old person with ugly, extremely faded designs on your body. ::::deep, cleansing breath:::::

Hey Sailor, Buy Me a Dwink?

2007-03-26T20:41:00.001-04:00

Hey Sailor, Buy Me a Dwink?
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

This fella on the right is apparently Someone Famous, but PeaceBang has no idea who he is.

All she knows is that gentlemen in the ministerial professions should not don stripes like this unless they're prepared to also wear a little beret and dance around picturesque cafes with the likes of Miss Leslie Caron.

A second option would be to dance around lower Manhattan in a pair of tight, white pants and do an extra pirouette because you're on shore leave for a WHOLE DAY and you get to go FIND A GAL.

Bad idea, stripes like those.

Rev. Gidget Does Goodwill

2007-03-26T18:57:00.000-04:00

Pigeons of Heaven!

PeaceBang has one of those nasty flu bugs that, just last evening, had her resembling Linda Blair's character in "The Exorcist" -- you remember that pea soup scene, don't you ?-- and is happy and appreciative to feature this guest column by Rev. Gidget. Thanks so much for writing in, Gidgie!

"Rev. Gidget Does Goodwill"

Having just brought in a magnificent haul from my Goodwill store, I wondered if your gentle readers (esp. the students) might like some tips for thrift store shopping.

1. Don't go in thinking you are going to find a specific item - you will be sorely frustrated. Instead, have several categories in mind, and be open to surprise. I once found a beautiful Liz Claiborne long black dress with a square neck and short sleeves that was perfect with a stole for leading summer worship in our blazing hot sanctuary. $10!

2. Use the Goodwill to supplement your wardrobe. I find blouses, pants, t-shirts, jackets, dresses, scarves and skirts, that all blend nicely with my new stuff. Also, buying used clothes when you need casual items gives you more money to spend on your professional wardrobe.

3. Be patient, go when you have a few hours to spend. I tried on four times as many things as I bought. The pleasure of the hunt is half the fun.

4. Be extremely picky. Yes, people WILL notice the tiny stain on that lovely shirt. Examine all items carefully in the light before purchasing. No, you probably WON'T lose the weight needed to make that dress look really good on you. I don't care if it's $5. I once bought anything that fit okay, looked all right, wasn't too dowdy, etc. Alas, I found I had a closet full of such items, and I never wanted to wear them. Rule of thumb: If you wouldn't buy it new, don't buy it because it's cheap.

5. Not really a tip, but an observation - people who will especially want to check out the Goodwill (and thrift stores in general) are (1) men who wear classic items like khaki pants, buttoned Lands End-type shirts, the occasional high-end label sportjacket, coat, and ties and (2) men or women who wear small sizes. I have sighed over itty-bitty items that are usually the cream of the used clothing crop. People do tend to get bigger more often than they get smaller, and you could be the lucky recipient of some very fabulous clothes.

Fondly, Rev. Gidget

SisterBang: Style Maven

2007-03-26T10:36:00.001-04:00

KarenBday2007
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

No matter what the fashion is, she always buys one kind of shoe: high clogs that make her look like a little circus pony. Sometimes even in faux fur.
She would get a manicure in Ballet Pink polish even when she's unemployed, and skip food (she doesn't cook, anyway, or even have a kitchen table and chairs).
She smells so good ("The Vanilla Bomb")and her hair is so shiny that children always want to crawl into her lap.
She has dog hair all over her car but none of it ever ends up ON her, for some reason.
She wears babydoll dresses and braids because "I'm an art teacher!" She gives the same reason for having a purple streak in her hair.
She mixes necklaces from Tiffany with beaded rings made by 4th graders, and it all looks great.
She always has smooth feet.
Her constant and most beautiful accessory is Gordon, as seen in photo.
When you make a suggestion about something she should or shouldn't wear, she cheerfully tells you to go to hell.

She has perfect eyebrows that look like anchovies.

She carries fantastic bags and she doesn't walk, she strides. You might think this is because she's confident, but it's really because she's kind of shy and doesn't like to make too much eye contact with people. No dawdling. We have places to go.

She always has glamorous sunglasses.

She's been wearing the same lipstick (some sheer, shimmery Clinique shade) because it looks good on her. Period. Who cares if some other shade is more au courant?

She despairs every winter that she's getting "sallow" or "ashy," but she never does because she's a genius with subtle bronzer.

She just turned 43 and she is finally, finally starting to age a little bit (so we won't have to kill her).

She is SisterBang, a True Original.

Love you, Seestren!

Good God, Water Bottles In the Pulpit???!??

2007-03-23T21:17:00.000-04:00

I couldn't agree more:

http://boyinthebands.com/archives/a-sip-of-water-in-the-pulpit/

Busy Bee

2007-03-23T17:56:00.000-04:00

Hello dear readers,

Be back soon!

Meanwhile, Boston-area PeaceBangers, don't forget to watch me on WBZ (CBS) this coming Sunday morning on the "Sunday Mornings With Liz Walker Show."

But go to church first!

xoxo PB

TA DA...The NIGHTLINE Clip

2007-03-21T17:18:00.000-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4Ek8JCRAxA

Black Tie And Vouz

2007-03-21T16:32:00.000-04:00

Happy, Happy Official Springtime, bunnies and chicks!

It's 33 degrees here just south of Boston but we're not complaining because the sun is shining at 4:30 in the afternoon, which would be high tea time if we were British but we're not, so instead of having a nice pot of Earl Tea and some biscuits, we're just typing away all parched and kind of tired.
It's time to call on our Imaginary Housekeeper, Mrs. Frubbles, who makes all our tea, takes out all our recycling, does all our laundry and tidies up!

Here she comes with a lovely cup of decaf chai. We just love Mrs. F. She's the maiden sister-in-law of our much-loved and notoriously creative Unitarian foremother, Lavonia Crittendon-Smythe, who used to preach in nothing but leotards and a crown of peonies. It was a daring era, darlings. Mrs. F. loves to regale me with stories, but just now she's picking up the dry-cleaning and getting dinner started. We're having something that you have to set on fire on the way to the table; it should be just divine. Then I'll get to work on Sunday's sermon which should be an easy one, really, because what else can you say about "Thou shalt not kill" except, "Yes, please don't?"

Well, now that we're back in reality, let us address a fascinating question we got last week; the kind of question that makes you think, "Gee, ministers and priests really DO have swellegant, glamorous lives!"

The inquiry came from an Episcopal priest of the female variety who was invited to a BLACK TIE EVENT.

Black tie, everyone! Isn't this amazing? When was the last time you were invited to a black tie event? PeaceBang has only been to one or two in her life and certainly not since she was ordained. No one does black tie weddings anymore, so that is one brand of fiesta that PeaceBang has most definitely not had to worry about dressing for. Sheesh, what a relief!

Our priest wrote in to say that not only did she have to attend a black tie event, she had to wear her clericals, which certainly presents a challenge. PeaceBang is pretty sure that evening gowns and clerical collars don't go very well together, so she had to put on her little thinking cap very tight and come up with this response to Inquiring Priest:

"There is no way to do clericals and black tie, really. I mean, we can't very well wear a collar and an evening gown or a tux. It just isn't done. But yet you want to look drop-dead elegant and appropriate.

I would say get an absolutely classic black suit with impeccable trousers and wear them with a pair of gorgeous sling-back pumps. That will be your only concession to feminine party dress. Keep everything starkly elegant, make sure your hair and make-up are one step away from GLAM (if you send me a photo I can advise), and wear an amazing, jewelry-like wristwatch. Simple diamonds [or "diamonds"] or something similarly perfect in your ears, and a very, very simple clutch bag. Manicured nails, neutral color (OPI Bubble Bath is great -- or if you want to do short and glam, Essie "Wicked" -- an elegant dark, dark wine color). In fact, the more I think about it, I sort of love the idea of killer chic nail polish as almost the only ornament.

The idea here is not trying to compete with the fapitzed ladies and not to be a guy: be a drop-dead elegant priest who just slightly intimidates* all the tuxes and evening gowns.

What do you think?"

* Maybe "intimidate" isn't the best word for what I mean. What I mean here is, Priests don't have to do black tie. Priests represent a spiritual teacher who reminded us not to store up treasures on earth, and who appreciated his wealthy disciples but who did not try to be as they were.

Long-Haired Minister Guys

2007-03-18T19:19:00.000-04:00

Hola, amigos! Did you have wonderful church? I hope so. I did. Happy, happy, joy, joy.

Got this letter just a few days ago,

"Hello Peace Bang
Question for a future post - Advice for Male Ministers with Long Hair, particularly for General Assembly.
-A (prayerfully) new UU Minister"

Don't you love how he writes? Kind of cryptic with all those capitals, very German poet, very Rilke, "Mein Leben hat das gleiche Kleid und Haar."

So, Joseph, are you the long-haired romantic type? In which case your gorgeous flowing locks are probably well-groomed and lovely, and don't do a thing with them. When you ask about GA, are you perhaps walking in the Service of the Living Tradition? If so, just a good brushing should do.

If your hair is long and you feel a slight intuition that it might be a wee bit scraggly or unkempt, just go to a good stylist and say, "I would like to have long hair and be handsome and fabulous in a way that communicates the vitality and relevancy of the contemporary church. Could you arrange that, please?"

And they will.

It's a good idea to find a long-haired male mentor, someone whose look you admire, and take a photo of that person (anonymous model, Benjamin Franklin, etc.) with you to the salon.

Joseph, do not fear the Salon Visit. You need only go once or twice to get your look together, and after that you'll do fine at the regular old inexpensive chop shop.

Oh, and Joseph... please don't choose Keith Urban as your long-haired man mentor. His look doesn't so much communicate beauty, vitality and charisma as Serious Commitment To Bleach and Foils.

One last thing, Joseph, if you wear a ponytail, can you make sure to still brush your hair? Even if it's pulled back, it should still look neat and clean.

P.S. If you occasionally spray your hair into place I will never, ever tell anyone. And it's okay.

Stay Hydrated!

2007-03-18T07:14:00.000-04:00

Good Sabbath, my silver-voiced bringers of the good news!

Did you know that talking dehydrates you?
Not that you would want to be pulling over a big ole bottle of water and chugging on it during counseling sessions or preaching, but do keep some water handy so you can take a good draught afterwards. And do intentionally drink more water than you think you need to throughout the day. Experts tell us that by the time you actually feel thirsty, you're dehydrated.

PeaceBang has a little tip she would like to share with you that has helped her drink plenty of water: I fiill a big sports bottle with filtered water and throw an herbal tea bag in there, a shot of stevia for sweetening, and voila! Lightly flavored water with no calories, no chemicals and very low cost. Since it tastes so good, I drink more.

I really like Celestial Seasonings herbal tea in blueberry, strawberry and country peach. Oh, I'm sorry: Country Peach PASSION. Very sexy, that herbal tea. Catch me, I swoon!
Anyway, my very favorite herbal teas come from Canadian company La Cour Tisane and come in flavors like ginger pear, mango, starfruit and blackberry, but although I stock up every summer, I always run out mid-winter when the heat is going strong and I'm parched. If my summer plans include Montreal again, don't think that that tea isn't a big draw. I love, love, love it.

*

Plenty of H2O is a necessity, my dears. Go ye and be quenched. As much as we love coffee, it's a diuretic, not a hydrator.

(* But as for their new flavor, Acai Mango... it was so icky that I actually returned it to the store!)

Ulla Popken Catalog

2007-03-17T20:24:00.000-04:00

Darn it, Ulla Popken, can't a hefty gal get a break?

http://ullapopken.com/search.asp_Q_ipp_E_5000_A_t_E_c_A_c_E_27

You used to be a designer of elegant and sporty plus-sized clothing. Even though you apparently designed for a striking, perfectly-proportioned Scandanavian giantess and I had to have them tailored within an inch of their lives, your garments were always well-made and professionally appropriate.

But now: What's with all the patchwork and ugly Hawaiian patterns and poncho-ish caftans and burnt velvet and what the heck is a SHACKET?

Please return to the elegant big-boned Scandanavian giantess look.

Love,
PeaceBang

Dashes of CULL-ah

2007-03-17T19:57:00.000-04:00

Beloved pigeons,

As the spring arrives and crocuses (croci?) raise their darling little heads and you are tempted to clean out the attic and the basement and the kitchen cabinets with such fervor that you throw out your back and have to preach the Easter sermon doped up on cocktail of Naproxin and morphine, let us consider together the use of cull-ah in our warm-weather wardrobes.

(It isn't color in Boston. It's "cullah.")

And really, it's best used as an accent.

PeaceBang has finally figured this out, and she is so excited! Color is good. We need more color in our clothing. Color has energy in it, it evokes emotions, it speaks of life and vibrancy. But head-to-toe color is too much. It confuses the eye, it is often unflattering to the body, and by far worst of all, it upstages the face. Wearing lots of bright colors - considered by some to be creative, fun and zany -- generally doesn't work for clergy. Do you want to be visited in the hospital by the Pink and Green Shirt and Skirt Combo? Or do you want to see your beloved pastor? Don't overdo the brights. Do add them into your wardrobe as you are able, but don't go nuts.

Neutrals and colors are wonderful together. Try a tailored charcoal gray suit with a bright yellow blouse, very au courant. A black suit with an orange or bright aquamarine silk shell underneath. Navy separates with lime green accents. Brown with touches of lavender.
Have fun, and enjoy. Adding dashes of bright color means that you can wear the same basic pieces again and again and again, changing them up with your accents of cull-ah.

Bright, bright yellow is very "in" this spring. Great color, but dear God, wear it away from your face unless you're very dark-skinned.

Handsome Color Combo!

2007-03-17T18:40:00.001-04:00

Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Hey fellas, stuck in a color rut?
I saw a lot of this in New York, and it's just plain handsome: French blue with olive green.

Male Grooming In Progress

2007-03-17T18:37:00.001-04:00

Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

When I asked this man if I could take his picture for this blog, he said "only if you don't get my face in there."

I complied, and here he is getting a pedicure. He was on the phone with his wife throughout his treatment, and then hung up and trotted right over for a manicure.

I asked him, "So, why do you do this? So many men think they shouldn't get manis or pedis."

He impatiently replied, "Well, their hands and feet probably look like s**t."

I LOVE New York!

Sephora in Times Square

2007-03-17T18:29:00.001-04:00

Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

On my recent quick little jaunt to NYC, I had to stop by the Mecca of cosmetics, Sephora.

For all of you who wondered what Sephora is, here it is!

I met a fabulous gal named Alison who helped me with skin care products.

SisterBang bought some eye cream, and MotherBang sat patiently and waited for us. She says that if it doesn't have Retinol in it, it's a waste of money. She swears by Sally Hansen Skin Brightener.

Happy Birthday, MotherBang! You don't look it!

Custom Stoles

2007-03-17T18:11:00.001-04:00

A lovely reader wanted me to post a link to her business, "Holy Cloaks," so here it is with my regards!

http://www.holycloaks.com/

Welcome, NIGHTLINE Visitors!

2007-03-15T21:45:00.001-04:00

Nightline Appearance 2007 004
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Welcome to PeaceBang's Beauty Tips For Ministers!

As you can see, this is not a swanky blog with lots of hip graphics and brilliant organizational concept. This blog was started about a year ago by a minister for other ministers, to address the problem of our so often failing to communicate our inner vibrancy through our exterior appearance. Or as I put it, "the de-frumpification of the American clergy."

I, your humble correspondent, am a lady of the cloth, not of the internet. I wouldn't know an HTML code if it walked up and bit me on the nose. It is for this reason that I am particularly thrilled that a generous reader of this blog is going to re-design it soon so that it will be a lot more user-friendly and organized. Look for our freshly snazzed-up appearance somewhere around Easter, just when ministers are most in need of some snazz in our lives, wouldn't you say?

Beauty Tips for Ministers is a on-line community of clergy-- and includes some non-clergy readers who either just want either a good laugh or seek about how to dress professionally in a "casual Friday" world. We have readers from six different countries that I know of, and I conduct an enthusiastic private consultation with any minister who sends me an e-mail asking for advice. (Contrary to what was suggested on "Nightline," no one in my congregation asks me for fashion advice!! In the interest of full disclosure, however, I should reveal that we do occasionally discuss shoes at meetings and I did once receive a fabulous red lipstick as a Christmas gift from a parishioner.)

I am not paid by anyone for anything that I write, so if you were wondering if CoverGirl is slipping me a check for every time that I sing the praises of their Outlast All-Day Lipcolor in Blush Pearl, the answer is "No, but if anyone from CoverGirl is listening, wouldn't I be totally cute in a commercial?"

Scroll away, friends new and old. In these postings you will find heated arguments about shoes (no flip-flops! EVER!), rapturous recounting of the virtues of the Simple White Blouse, stern admonitions to gentlemen to Use Thy Norelco Nose Hair Trimmer, explanations of exfoliation, discussions on what to wear for a day that includes a funeral, a legislative session, a home visit, and a pizza party with the youth group, and general encouragement to all clergy to shine like the illuminating presence they were called to be-- however charismatic or gentle, prayerful or prophetic, old, young, gay, straight, feminine or masculine, fat, thin, tall, short, bald or lushly-maned they happen to be.

As Pierre Teilhard de Chardin said, "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience." No matter how gloriously spiritual any of us may be, we meet people not through the radiance of our souls first, but through a simple human encounter in bodily form. And frankly, if we think that religious community is the greatest place to be in order to get the deepest, most transformational experience of life, we should project that through the part of us that actually gets out of bed in the morning.

That is the gospel according to PeaceBang.

Simply put, I am the self-appointed Stage Mother to all ministers, and I want all my babies to be stars.

If you're interested in reading my sermons as the Reverend Victoria Weinstein, stop by our church website at www.firstparishnorwell.org. My writing as PeaceBang and my parish ministry with First Parish Unitarian Church in Norwell are distinct and separate from each other, but my congregation and I want to take this rare opportunity to invite you to share our ministry on Boston's South Shore.

If you're interested in the exciting, free faith tradition known as Unitarian Universalism, visit our Association's web site at www.uua.org.

If you're a publisher with a book deal, why yes, I'm definitely interested.

Thanks for stopping by. Enjoy Beauty Tips For Ministers, and may God bless your life with beauty, joy, health and peace.

PEACEBANG ON NIGHTLINE TONIGHT!

2007-03-15T19:33:00.000-04:00

My patient and dear readers,

Our "Nightline" segment will finally air tonight, Thursday, March 15, at 11:35 EST on ABC.

Kiss of peace!!
PB

PB in NYC: March 2007 Edition

2007-03-12T11:10:00.000-04:00

Hello my dear friends!

PeaceBang is going to spend two nights in New York City to be with her two favorite women in the whole world -- MotherBang and SisterBang -- and to celebrate their March birthdays.

She will be out of sight and out of touch to the blogging community through Friday.

Before she goes, she wants to share with you her deep joy at having had lunch today with two readers of this blog who drove all the way from Long Island, NY to Boston's South Shore to take her to lunch. I must say that I was truly moved that they would they do this, and delighted to find that they were inspiring, brilliant, beautiful, talented, funny, charismatic, committed Christian women and leaders with whom I will be most proud and happy to be associated. We had a blast. I am very excited to be the fairy godmother for a writing project they are embarking upon.

When I began blogging I had no idea that I would have wonderful people writing to me from as far away as Finland, Sweden, England and Czechoslovakia, that I would get invited to parties by readers, that I would subsequently be invited to preach part of the Good Friday service at a progressive Catholic congregation in town, and that I would be treated to a broader glimpse of what God is doing through ministers of so many different faith traditions.

It's quite amazing what's happened with this funny little blog, and I'm humbled by it and grateful for all of you.

Kiss of peace,
xoxo PB

"HI, I'm Really A Sneaker"

2007-03-12T11:05:00.001-04:00

privo crush
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Uh-oh, ya'll, it's BLACK FLATS SHOE WARS!

But seriously, we all know how hard it is to find a suitable black flat shoe, so some of you are writing in with your recommendations. The most recent pitch was rejected by many of you for being too expensive and cutesy, and now I must reject these as being too much the wolf in sheep's clothing known as "Hi, I'm a Sneaker dressed up like a shoe."

Hi, Sneaker. You ain't fooling me. I know a sneaker when I see one, and though I would love you for the office and my day off, you would not be seeing the inside of my sanctuary, no way, no how.

That goes for you, too, Privo Colada,

You're adorable as can be, and I might take you home, but you're not to be worn with skirts or at serious professional appearances.

And you, too, Privo Comice, even in black. You can't fool me. I know a sneaker cut like a real shoe when I see one:

Hiding Our Lights Under a Bushel

2007-03-12T10:15:00.000-04:00

[Lovely readers, in our earlier conversation about dressing for GA, Rev. Sean contributed a critical comment to which I wrote a fairly lengthy reply. I liked our exchange enough to lift it out of the comments and publish it as its own entry -- PB]

Rev Sean wrote,
I agree that a lack of concern for appearance can communicate a certain smugness and I totally agree about the darwin fish, but I don't think dressing casually (think shorts and sandals) is "a lack of concern for appearance." I have a friend who carefully irons his tshirts and shorts. He cares about how he looks, he just wants to be cool and comfortable as well. There are so many assumptions going on under this conversation. That people don't care about how they look or are purposefully sloppy and slothful may sometimes be true. But isn't it a stereotype to see someone who truly loves how it feels to wear their hippy skirt and assume it's either cluelessness or selfishness that they'd wear something you think is inappropriate for clergy?
And oh, the regional differences. I minister in the West. Here, showing up in a suit and tie communicates that you are probably an outsider to our culture. An assumption of arrogance may be made as well. People here dress practically. I'm not sure they even think of clothes as a means of communicating how much or little they value something. Clothes are like tools--you wear what's going to be useful and comfortable.I'm not trying to be argumentative, but ever since you started this blog, I've been slightly troubled by it. (At the same time I love it b/c your wit and humor just right.) I guess I just keep feeling like there is a fine line between judging people's "style" and judging--well--people. I guess I'll just keep being uncomfortable and keep reading too.

Then I said:

Sean my dove, no prob.

I don't mind your pushing back, and I know you've been slightly uneasy but that you keep having fun here nonetheless. I do try to be clear, though.

When I say "wrinkled khaki shorts and teeshirts" I really do mean that, not hippie skirts. Hippie skirts are fine, too, when paired with neat and put-together tops.

I exaggerate disapproval for certain garments to make a point and to be outrageous. No one pays attention to the gal who writes thoughtful little suggestions about clothing. You gotta grab people, get 'em thinking, get 'em laughing and occasionally ticked off. Then we're getting somewhere.

As you know, I'm against drab and thoughtless and sloppy outfits that project either, "Don't notice me" or "I'm too spiritual to bother with grooming details" -- all of which I still see so much of in the clergy gatherings I attend that I'm going to keep 'Banging away about it.

There's nothing wrong with being clueless: most of us aren't super confident about our appearance in the first place.

But here's the thing: no one has ever suggested to clergy what's appropriate to wear. So I'm making it up as I go along based on pretty serious thought and analysis, and so far a good number of readers have validated that I'm doing an okay job of it.
Certainly everyone understands that this is all being offered in good faith.

Some people have critiqued me for setting out "elitist" standards but I'm simply taking my cues from careful observation of other leaders in positions of public trust and respect that are roughly commensurate with that of the clergy.

For us to blithely thumb our noses at that in favor of what's most comfortable is not just missing an opportunity, it is actively misrepresenting ourselves. I know clergypeople to be charismatic, sharp, dynamic, funny, deeply alive people and dammit, our attire too often projects another reality entirely!

I deeply believe it will be a GOOD thing (thank you, Martha Stewart) if more of us align our exterior image with our interior vitality. I'm tired of clergypeople's charisma, brilliance and contemporary savvy being one of the most well-kept secrets in American society. That's why I'm putting myself out there publicly to do this work. It's a risk, I know it, and I'm ridiculed by many. But honey, here's where we have to cue up the big showstopper about how I won't quit,

because..."EVERYTHING's comin' up ROSES for YOU and for MEEEEEE!"

Or, if you prefer,"I... AM... what... I AM.. and what I AM needs no excuses..."
11:25 PM

Style, Not So Much "Fashion"

2007-03-11T14:56:00.000-04:00

Dear PB,
This is a great blog... but I wonder... what fashion tips can you offer to those among us who are, well, gender different? I am a somewhat "butchy" woman... Pants suits are my thing. Think Ellen DeGeneres. Any tips for the likes of me? (There are others...)

Dear Somewhat "Butchy" Woman,

Thank you for inviting me to "think Ellen DeGeneres," as I think she's absolutely adorable, effervescent, and a perfect example of someone who has an impeccable sense of her own style and image, and who unabashedly projects joy, generosity of spirit and genuine interest in the human species... all wonderful qualities for a minister to have.

I am trying to move away from the word "fashion" as often as possible because to me, that word connotes the whole "fashion industry," which is something that PeaceBang -- and most of us -- participates in in a very peripheral way, and THANK GOD for that, sez I. Otherwise we gals would be walking around in sheer babydoll dresses with black leggings, 4"lucite wedge heels, black nail polish and perma-pouts, and the fellas would be wearing mesh shirts and skintight white pants. At least according to the latest fashion spread in Out magazine.
So really, dear Somewhat Butchy, throw the concept of "fashion" to the winds if it seems intimidating and distant to you. Think of "fashion" as that kooky aunt you like to spend time with, but who you really shouldn't try to emulate if you want to be a respectable person in society.

Let's think "style" instead of "fashion." PeaceBang prefers to do that for three reasons: 1. she is a size 18 petite and they just don't make "fashion" in that size 2. even if she had tons of dough she would never spend $700 on a bag 3. fashion is for fashionistas, and for the rest of us it should be like art: an inspiring place to get ideas.

(This is not to say that those of you who are downright fashionable should stop being fashionable. We know who you are --KR in OH, I'm looking at you--and we throw admiring handfuls of confetti at you. Rock ON with your fabulous selves).

So, dear reader, you say you're a "butchy woman" and "gender different." All of which means that you're a pioneer in our society, and certainly in the ministry, and that you're constantly navigating people's intense reactions that may come from curiosity, from homophobia or from recognition and admiration. Whatever it is, and whatever it comes from, you are on the receiving end of it whether you want it or not. PeaceBang salutes you for wanting to be more intentional about the image you're projecting -- she just exhorts you to remember that your image is all about what you want to say, not what you think they want to hear. In other words, there is nothing about your personhood, butch, femme, whatever, that should dictate to you how you dress.
Let's explore that a bit more.

You say that pants suits are your thing. Does that mean that you really love pants suits, that you feel confident and like your most authentic, put-together self in pants suits, or does that mean that you sort of feel like you have to wear pants suits because nothing else really works for you, or because that's what people expect of you?

Do your pants suits fit well? Are they a color, cut and fabric that look great on you, or are they essentially cut for a man but marketed to women? Fit is important. Bad fit is very distracting; it can signal to people looking at us that we are living outside our bodies, and it can make us look not like we're dressed, but that we're "dressing up." This is a potential problem for ALL of us, but it has different consequences for people with the added complexity of gender identity issues.

SBW, I hope you can find someone respectful and helpful to tailor your clothes if you need to: you need to be able to talk about what you want without fear of being judged, a problem that people (gay or straight) dressing within gender stereotypes don't have to worry about. Never hesitate to say, "I have a vision of myself, and I need your help tailoring this outfit to make that happen."

Whatever look you want to cultivate, SBW, the same advice applies to us all: wear garments that fit, are clean and neat and help you feel confident, choose colors you love, and attend to details that indicate a basic awareness of current fashion. Have fun with it.

Let me know if this has been helpful at all.
Kiss of peace!
xoxoo PB

A Reader Recommends Tory Burch Shoes

2007-03-11T14:52:00.000-04:00

Dear ladies,

Do you have a penchant for cunning ballerina flats? If so, read on.

Reader K. recommends these shoes by Tory Burch. She says they look just as brilliant with jeans as they do with vestments, but when PeaceBang saw the price she fell backwards off her chair and had to be helped back up by the cat, who said "Wow, you must have a head injury, because I'm a cat and I can't talk."

Here are the darling ballerina flats, not PeaceBang's personal style or budget range, but may be just what you're looking for:

http://www.toryburch.com/catalog_detail.aspx?cid=467&id=12662

General Assembly Attire

2007-03-11T14:30:00.000-04:00

This from one of our beautiful readers:

Hi PB,

You’ve probably already done this, but could you talk about professional casual wear (from tops to shoes) for GA? I’ll be standing in the booth for a great bit of time and will also have to “suit up” for a breakfast event. I’m not clergy, but am UU representing a UU organization and for the last two years I’ve felt either overdressed or underdressed—and never comfortable. Any suggestions? UU Momma

Dear UUMomma,

Bless your heart. General Assembly is a very difficult event to pack for, as it's generally scorching hot outside and freezing inside, so what's a guy or gal to do? PeaceBang favors cotton cardigans and shawls and mixing it up with interesting accessories. She loves Charter Club cotton sweaters. They cost about $35 and they are beautifully made and withstand washing well.

As we all know, PeaceBang writes for the clergy crowd, but in this case (and because one of her own congregants owned as to how she was shocked and dismayed by the slovenliness of the other delegates to the GA), she is happy to extend her invitation to Bring On The Beauty to her layfriends and readers.

Unitarian Universalists, arise! Consider! When we descend en masse upon St. Louis or Rochester or Portland or Cleveland, we have the opportunity to make an impression! And that's a wonderful thing! Just one more exclamation point for emphasis! How 'bout it?
"!"

PeaceBang honors the sacrifice of time and money that laypeople make to attend GA, but wants to remind us all that when we're doing the work of our association, we're not on vacation. We should consider dressing a step up from tee-shirts and shorts.

Heed the words of my colleague, the Rev. Tom Schade, who wrote,

"A lack of concern for appearance communicates only disregard and disrespect for those we serve [within the context of GA, this means "the greater cause of Unitarian Universalism" for all of us -- PB]. It also graphically demonstrates that religion and the church don't really connect to the real world, but exist only in some parallel universe of our own making, a world where thinking is supreme. It is also self-indulgent and morally smug at the same time."

Who loves you, UUs? PeaceBang loves you! But it's time to honestly acknowledge what we're really communicating about our identity as a faith tradition when so many of us come together for our big annual meeting looking as though we've tumbled out of the back of a VW minibus. Now, if you actually got to GA riding in the back of a VW minibus, more power to you, I say. I shall not look askance at your wrinkled khaki shorts and Darwin fish teeshirts.* But if you didn't -- and most of us don't -- let's think about putting a more neatly-shod foot forward when we pay each other the honor of showing up to do important work. Maybe it doesn't bother you to be known as The Old Hippie Church. I happen to think that's kind of funny, myself. But it does bother me that we are so easily stereotyped. When it's easy to stereotype a group, it's easy to dismiss them. We don't want that.

NOW, UU Momma asked for some ideas on how to pack for GA, and particularly for breakfast events.

First of all, Momma, let's talk about being over-dressed and under-dressed:

> If you find that you're over-dressed for an event, WORK IT. You should never, ever be ashamed at having put extra effort into your appearance for any event. If everyone else showed up in Hawaiian shirts, that isn't your problem. You just wear whatever you've got on and be who you are with pride and confidence. I trust you aren't wearing bugle-beaded evening gowns, so really, relax.

> If you find that you're under-dressed for an event, WORK IT. Sit up straighter, put a big smile on your face, be as gracious as you can be, and make a note to yourself so you don't make the same mistake the next time. This isn't so much about what someone else might say about you, it's about how you feel about you. There is no dress code at these events, so it's up to you to represent yourself and your organization in the most appropriate way possible, relying on your own sense of style and occasion. Believe me, my dove, you don't want to take the average group of Unitarian Universalists as your guide, as we are notoriously, shall we say, elaborately and casual.

PeaceBang's Guide To Packing For GA:

1. Everything has to go together for maximum mixing-and-matching of every garment.
2. Accessories are key: they take up very little space and they can make you feel put-together with no effort at all. Think chunky cascading bead necklaces, distinctive belts, great earrings, a few scarves that array you and don't drown you.
3. Skirts pack well if you roll them. I usually bring one floral and one solid. Unpack and hang them right away.
4. Black pants are great for traveling in. Heck, you can wear them every day if you like.
5. Three or four crisp bright tees for wearing under cardigans or cotton blazers are a godsend.
6. Shoes have to be comfortable for walking miles through convention centers-- a nice sandal is all you need. If you find that you're obsessing over finding the perfect GA sandal, no, it's not just you. You have LOTS of company!
7. Bring a travel size of Febreze.

For a one-week conference, I usually pack two skirts, two pairs of pants, three or so blouses or tees and a cardigan or blazer (it depends if I'm leading any programs). That's a lot, but I roll everything up and get it into one little bag. My cosmetics come in a separate steamer trunk. Really, though: hotels are murder on my complexion! I have to have a full defense arsenal.

* PeaceBang wishes that religious liberals would consider how rude and smarmy they're being when they wear or display the Darwin fish symbol, which takes a symbol common to all Christians and insults millions of them by assuming that all Christians are creationists. We're not, and if UUs want to be seen as a tolerant, dignity-respecting religion, why walk around in something that's the sartorial equivalent of a Bronx cheer to all Christians? I think we can do better than that. Or at least save it for home wear, not for when we're all together making a collective impression.

Holy MakeOver!

2007-03-09T19:08:00.000-05:00

Dearest Boston-area PeaceBangers,

If you would be willing to have a brief PeaceBang clergy image consultation on March 21 from 10-11:30 at the WBZ studios for the Sundays With Liz Walker show, please respond by e-mail.

Here are some of the things we will consider together:
1. Are you in transition (from seminary to parish, from associate pastor to senior pastor, etc.), and are you trying to communicate something new in your image?
2. What are your particular challenges in putting together a look that projects your the vitality of you and your ministry more immediately and effectively to those around you?
3. What are your challenges in general around attire and image (budget, lack of knowledge or confidence, never thought about it before, time management, organization, etc.)?

This will be a serious but fun conversation (PeaceBang is all about serious and fun, and serious fun!) that will in all ways show you in a good light. You should know that PeaceBang's on-line blogging persona, flamboyant and extravagant enough to keep you reading, is quite a bit more wild than her in-person reality. Which is to say, do not fear the 'Bang. She is truly There For You.

http://wbztv.com/bios/local_bio_052115506

Kiss of peace!
PB (and Liz)

When Bloomies Blows Your Serenity

2007-03-08T19:10:00.000-05:00

Dear ones,

PeaceBang has been fairly DELUGED with marvelous queries this week, and she promises to get to them when she has just a wee bit more energy.

Do not despair! We will address holy-holey boyfriend shoes, GA wear, candidating togs and all other manner of your fabulousness when the Holy Spirit comes and hits PeaceBang upside the head and says, "Get back to work, girl! Your faithful readers need you!"

But right now, how can PeaceBang give you advice on being your best most radiant self and emitting the thrilling energy of the contemporary church when she has four broken nails, Walter Mondale bags under her eyes, and a desire to wrap herself in this for a few days, or until we're out of this Arctic blast:

?

What a nice pedicure!

I had to walk through Bloomingdale's on my way to Sephora today to return a product (a fragrance by Fresh that I mistook for the delicious V-Tonic they issued last year, but which turned out to smell like Lemon Pledge) and thought, oh my heavens. Oh MY HEAVENS. Look at all the women in this place who are very seriously shopping for $600 shoes as though those shoes were really very seriously important. This is a problem. Not only is it rampant materialism at its saddest ("salvation through Salvatore Ferragamo!"), the shoes this season aren't even that great! Once you've seen the doyennes of Chestnut Hill, MA squeeze their toes into patent leather peep-toe spectator pumps, you just can't muster quite the same sense of fun about them as you did when you saw them featured in Glamour, if you know what I mean.

Those gals were shopping for shoes with the kind of earnestness most people reserve for reciting their wedding vows. You want to know where to evangelize, people? Try the shoe department at Bloomingdales. I remember once seeing an want ad for a MALL CHAPLAIN. To this day I have no idea what the job entails but I always imagined that the Mall Chaplain would be there to help you through buyer's remorse, and lead you to confront which of your soul's deepest desires those Cole-Haan loafers were supposed to fill. Does anyone out there know what a Mall Chaplain really does?

ANYhoo, duckies, the point is that PeaceBang is a bit tired and cranky and if she can't even get a kick out of Spying For the House of the LORD in the Bloomie's shoe department, what GOOD is she?

You be wonderful and vibrant, won't you, while mother has a nice little nap.

Eyebrows, Suits

2007-03-06T08:07:00.000-05:00

Darlings, PeaceBang is suffering from a Hideous Facial Disfigurement that has her face quite swollen and her right eye very puffy. She saw the doctor yesterday and got loaded up with anti-virals, anti-biotics (which she won't take) and an immunity-enhancing supplement. This is her second HFD in two months, and that's just not a good statement about her general health and self-care. However, when she was waiting for her prescriptions at Brooks Pharmacy, she had the pleasure of meeting three very lovely women who absolutely loaded her up with samples from these new-to-American skincare lines:

Vichy
Eau Thermale Avene
La Roche-Posay Laboratoire Pharmaceutique
and
Lierac Paris

Doesn't this all just make you want to stand up and sing "Le Marseille?" How kind of the French to flood the American market with products that may help us be more moist, dewy, exfoliated and generally fresh-faced!! As soon as PeaceBang's Hideous Facial Disfigurement calms down, she can't wait to start testing away, especially since she has heard from two cosmetic professionals in the past week that she has LARGE PORES. Mon Dieu!! Large PORES! This in addition to having bad roots, a desperate need for a manicure, and not having made it to the gym in two weeks. PeaceBang might have to take to her bed today with a box of Girl Scout cookies, her computer, and her spring preaching schedule. It's all too much, and the Easter service is already becoming overly-complicated and PeaceBang is all stressed out about it.

But now, for your questions!

Sez one lovely lass,

"I just discovered your blog, and I have a question about eyebrows.
I know I should pluck my eyebrows, but they're a) light; b)sparse; c) the hairs are long.
So if I eliminated the hairs that shouldn't be there, there'd only be a few left and they wouldn't necessarily look tidy. And what do you do with eyebrow pencils?
I've never figured out how they work. The color certainly doesn't rub off on the hairs, and I don't think you're supposed to just draw your own on your skin even though lots of elderly ladies do. Thanks.
Your colleague in the Midwest"

My dear Midwestern lamb,
There is no rule that says Thou Shalt Pluck. Are the brows messy and scraggly? Do they distract from your eyes and travel over onto the bridge of your nose?
If so, they should be shaped.
Are your brows well-nigh invisible, failing to provide a beautiful, expressive frame for your face? If so, you should find a nice eyebrow pencil that is as close to your natural brow color as you can get it (Lancome Le Crayon Poudre is by far my favorite), keep it nice and sharp, and fill in your brow with light, feathery strokes. You're not drawing on the brows, you're filling them in.
The thing you want to avoid is using a harsh, hard pencil that requires you to use a heavy hand that will result in that permanently-startled Eccentric Retired Drama Teacher look.
Remember, as with all make-up, you want to look like yourself --only better.
Visit a cosmetics counter for a free lesson; it's a perfectlyl legit investment of your time and energy. You will be seen far more effectively from the back pew with good, defined brows.
Good luck! PB

****

"Preppy Pastor" has been flooding PeaceBang's in-box with anxious inquiries about appropriate attire for funerals and visitations following the service. Should he buy a black suit? Can he wear a black sports jacket with checked pants? Seriously, should he buy a suit, and does it have to be black?

Preppy Pastor has won PeaceBang's heart because he has bothered to seek out her church website and read her sermons, which he appreciates well enough to quote in his own sermons -- and that's always a thrill, especially since we're from very different religious traditions-- so PeaceBang will happily indulge his many inquiries and try to set him on the right path here:

Preppy Pastor, darling, if you don't think you'd use a black suit very often, it's perfectly fine to wear a dark suit to a funeral and to visitations afterwards (heavens, what else would you wear to a visitation afterwards but what you wore to officiate in?). A beautiful, elegant navy should work fine. Elegant charcoal gray. What really matters is the cut and the fit, of course. A black suit doesn't look profesionally appropriate if it sags or bunches, is covered with dandruff or lint, and worn with dull, beat-up shoes (and whoever it was that pointed out that rubber-soled shoes have no place in the sanctuary, BLESS YOU. PeaceBang couldn't agree with you more, but she is trying to take baby steps with her defiantly casual male colleagues who are still showing up in black Nikes, but she digresses).

PeaceBang doesn't know what kind of CHECKED PANTS you have in mind, Preppy, but she is certain they shouldn't be worn to a funeral. Pinstripes may be fine, but checks are not. And yes, buy a suit if you can. It will serve you well in a variety of settings and is really far more appropriate for a funeral than a sports coat and slacks.

Powder Pigeons,
If this blog is helping you, if you read it with as much pleasure and appreciation as you do a magazine or journal you would pay for, feel free to drop a tip in the tip-jar to the right, otherwise known as the Make a Donation button. This is a labor of love, but buying new television-appropriate clothes for her next media outing has made PeaceBang aware that it's expensive being America's Best-Known Clergy Image Consultant.

Clean Lines, Nice Fabric

2007-03-05T10:52:00.001-05:00

clean lines nice fabric
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

What I like about this Jessica London Moleskin dress/jacket combo is this:

1. Moleskin settles nicely on the body. It has more heft than cotton or poly and therefore holds it shape more effectively, making you look neater and more polished.

2. Moleskin has some texture to it, without being softy-nubby-quilty looking.

3. Collars are great against your face. They frame the place you want the attention to be so that people are looking at YOU and hearing YOU, not hearing the loud scarf or skirt below the neck that's upstaging you.

4. This skirt seems long to me, but you can always hem. The buttons on the jacket give the outfit a casual approachability factor but retains the clean lines of a suit.

5. It's less than $50!

6. It looks like you could run around all day in something like this and not look like a wrinkled mess by 5 pm.

Black Sneakers With Suits: Non, Non, Mon Freres

2007-03-04T19:51:00.000-05:00

A newly-ordained colleague writes,

"Here is my pet peeve: ministers wearing black sneakers as though they substitute for black dress shoes. They don't. Just because they are black does not make them an appropriate counterpart to a suit. (Okay, this mostly applies to men because I rarely see a woman doing this.)"

First of all, our blessings go to this newly-minted Rev., and we wish her every happiness and the deepest fulfillment of her calling!

Second of all, we thank her for making this important point. Guys, you're not kidding anyone with those black Reeboks. Unless you have some kind of serious orthopedic issue -- in which case you should just wear orthopedic shoes, there's no shame in it! -- don't pair sneakers with a suit.

Did the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King walk all over Alabama witnessing for justice wearing sneakers with his suit? No, he did not. And PeaceBang feels certain that he would not have even if they had made black Reeboks back then. Some days, personal comfort is a fine consideration. When that is the case, you can wear something like this:

When the situation calls for the most dignified presence you can muster, however, it's time for shiny man shoes and nothing else.

(These are by Ecco, so they're actually not pinchy and stiff!)

Philocrites was wearing these the other day, and they're really terrific for an everyday shoe:
http://tinyurl.com/2sho98
(Clark's Oxfords)

Here's a tip, darling gents: Dr. Scholl's makes terrific squishy gel inserts, and if you do as PeaceBang and buy your shoes a half-size bigger, you can show up in a real shoe and still be comfortable on your feet all day.
http://www.drscholls.com/prodselect.aspx?pgid=7

But seriously, PeaceBang just cruised Zappos.com to look at men's shoes and found oodles of great options on there that look nice and are extremely comfortable. Now she's wondering why in the world so many men are walking around in hiking boots and galoshes when there are so many more elegant and equally practical options out there.

Is this a little bit of a Rev. Peter Pan situation, boys? Is this just about wanting to keep that youthful, I Might Just Go Hike Up a Mountain After This Board Meeting, Because I've Got Some GORP In My Pocket And I'm A Free And Wild Spirit, Baby edge? Because, sweeties, here's how it reads to everyone else: "My Son Left His Black Sneakers In The Mud Room And I Couldn't Find My Own Shoes Before Tonight's Service So I Wore His."

Remember what PeaceBang always says, "Well-shodliness is next to godliness."

Wink, wink, kiss of peace!
PB

When You Write To Me

2007-03-04T07:07:00.000-05:00

My darling readers,

I love that you read this blog, I love that you comment on this blog, I love that you write to me off-line and ask wonderful questions or make wonderful suggestions about this topic.
I don't love the fact that I lose some of your e-mails or accidentally delete them, or just plain miss them, or just plain don't get back to you.

If you write to me off-line and don't hear back from me, please don't take it personally, and please submit your inquiry again if it's a pressing matter. This isn't so much a time management issue as it is a "bumbling with technology" issue. It takes very little time to respond, so don't hesitate to write in!

UU Momma, you are one example of someone whose e-mail I lost and I wanted to say "hi" and "How nice to know who you are, and love your blog!"

Kiss of peace and blessed Sabbath to you all,
PB

Small People, Long Sweaters

2007-03-03T14:41:00.000-05:00

PeaceBang attended a day event at a seminary yesterday and is sorry to have to report an epidemic of Long Sweaters On Petite Women happening in Cambridge, Massachusetts, where she spotted at least four women suffering from the ailment.

Lovely people of diminutive stature, please hear me: wearing sweaters that hit you six inches above the knee make you look like a child dressed in mommy's clothing. They diminish you. You don't want that!

Yesterday, I needed to speak to a lovely and earnest person in a position of leadership about an unpleasant tiff I had with a staff person during the conference (who knew that telling someone that taking dozens of flash photos during a lecture is distracting could earn you a vile epithet at a well-regarded school of divinity? Now that's what I call Christian hospitality!). When I approached her, the first thing that crossed my mind was "Oh my. This little girl is totally not going to be able to deal with this."

That's not the first impression you want to make when you're trying to inspire confidence and project mature presence.

Pleated plaid knee-length skirts and cowl-neck sweaters that swath three-quarters of the body is not an outfit that works for clergywomen of any size. There is no other garment on God's green earth that says "Catholic School Girl" or just "School Girl" so instantly as the plaid pleated skirt of any length, and PeaceBang firmly believes that it does not belong in any minister's wardrobe. Yes, I see by doing a Google Image Search that Nanette Lepore makes a gorgeous, fitted plaid skirt, but we're not exactly buying Nanette Lepore, are we, amigas?

As for sweaters, your waist is a fine place for them to conclude their warm envelop of your body.

Petites, it's a constant challenge for you, and I know you know this: if your clothes are too big, you're always going to risk looking like a little kid.

Theological Reflection On Fat, Skinny, And Image

2007-03-03T13:36:00.000-05:00

Yes, my ducks, PeaceBang is also disappointed not ot have been able to see her "Nightline" segment, which got bumped in favor of a story on dangerously thin fashion models and on the perils of SPAM.

She got a wonderful night's sleep and is looking forward to a stewardship campaign kick-off dinner tonight at church.

But she is thinking.

If we lived in a world where we could convene in-depth conversations by way of late-night news, we would have been able to have a very interesting confab last night around the issue of body size. Say they had run the skinny models piece along with the piece on the ministry of clergy beautification. What an interesting conversation, if we had had time to explore it! But given that the "Nightline" team filmed PeaceBang and her congregation over two days and about 7 hours in order to get footage for a 3-minute segment, that's just not how it works.

I mean, how cool would it have been if they had actually done the pieces together intentionally, and I could have talked about the western world's long spiritualization of slimmness and demonization of fatness, quoting from Carolyn Walker Bynum's wonderful book, Holy Feast and Holy Fast, about the "holy anorexia" of the most important female medieval mystics? http://www.amazon.com/Holy-Feast-Fast-Significance-Historicism/dp/0520063295
Welcome to PeaceBang's media fantasy!!

As George Bush, Sr. would have said, "NOT GONNA HAPPEN." But I am thinking.

PeaceBang has been watching in alarm as the American public gets more obese and more sloppily informal (this is not to imply that large-bodied folk are the only ones getting sloppier -- it's an American phenomenon, not a big-person phenomenon), our so-called icons of beauty are becoming increasingly Botoxed, sliced-up, plasticized and starved.

What is going on with this strange symbiotic relationship?

The exhausted, over-stimulated, perpetually distracted, information-and-entertainment crammed average American consumes the images of plastic skeletal goddesses inflicted on us by a fat-phobic fashion industry and Madison Avenue, and we devour them. Candy, candy, candy. Even if we do not devour, we can't look away, as the images are ubiquitous. We instinctually don't like what we're seeing, but we've been so well trained in the fashion and beauty industry's notions of beauty that we figure they must know what they're doing.

Because we've been assiduously programmed to think this way, we keep our distance: "Naw...this isn't a spiritual issue. I should just shut up. I'm not one of the beautiful people and never will be. People will just think I'm jealous if I decry all of this madness." Don't think that PeaceBang doesn't know that there's a little part of us that never graduated from the insecurites of 8th grade. That's the human condition, my dears. Unless we spend a tremendous amount of time and effort getting over it, there's always going to be that little voice inside our heads going, "Oh man, everyone else at this coffee hour is so much more cool and socially adept than I am. I think I'll go flush my head down the toilet."

But out there in the world outside your head, you're a theologically educated, spiritually advanced religious leader and so some of you have spoken out against the rampant objectification of humans in our society, and the fashion industry and Madison Avenue and Hollywood's role in that. When you did, was your public presence as vital, engaging, charismatic and passionate as Michael Kors' is? Or Isaac Mizrahi? Or Helen Gurley Brown? Do you see what I'm saying? We are in friendly or hostile competition with wonderful, engaging personalities on this issue and on every other issue of importance to the spiritual well-being of the world.

When we show up projecting an image that says, "Please don't notice me," we've lost the battle before we even open our mouths.

It just so happens that human beings are engaged by passion and leadership that projects a vision. And it just so happens that looking put-together and polished helps the vast majority of human beings on the planet feel more prepared to deliver their message, whatever it is. It just so happens that we in America live in a culture that is visually overwhelming and that everyone who lives in this country is being bombarded daily by millions of images being projected at us in the attempt to sell us something. Religious leaders who refuse to embrace that fact and meet its challenge with creative energy are, in PeaceBang's opinion, like sweet little ostriches burying their heads in the sand. Come on out, ostriches. We need you.

Meanwhile, PeaceBang can't help but notice that many clergymen and women are significantly overweight. Why? As an overweight woman herself, PeaceBang has a few guesses: we compulsively overeat to provide instant comfort in the midst of caring for others. We put ourselves last and our self-care practices suffer (exercise, carefully preparing healthful meals, stopping to eat something so we're not ravenous by dinner, going to bed early enough to avoid late-night snacking, etc.). We suffer from the ancient Augustinian mentality that elevates the spirit over the sinful body, and do not have a holistic experience of incarnation, living mostly from the neck up.

All the usual suspects. The same things that contribute to clergy addictions, repressions and eventually, those tragic scandals of acting out that make the front page of the paper...and the late-night news stories.

Then there's this: maybe by being significantly overweight, some of us are rebelling against conventional standards of beauty. Maybe some of us are making a statement with our bodies, saying "I refuse to take up a small space in this world. I am a person of abdundant spirit, and my physical presence reflects that. I am a person of extravagant appetite for all that life has to offer, and I will not be dictated to by any industry -- be it entertainment, fashion or medical -- that attempts to pathologize the way I am present in this world."

If that sounds like you, congratulations! You are an outlaw by today's societal standards, and there will be legions of doctors and health care experts lined up to say that you're unhealthy and in need of a conversion experience. They will be looking polished and slim and authoritative in white coats and tailored suits when they frowningly insist that we're in the midst of an obesity epidemic, and you're in denial. When you respond to this, you need to show up looking poised, confident, dignified, handsomely attired and full of God's love for your body and every body.

It's 2007 in the United States of America, is what I'm saying in my own long-winded fashion, dearly beloveds. People don't just hear our words. They see US.

Now get out there and be beautiful in that John Keats kind of way.

Spam Vs. PeaceBang on "Nightline"

2007-03-02T23:41:00.000-05:00

Well, folks,
Looks like the segment is being held until next week. The "Sign of the Times" on NIGHTLINE tonight is about Spam. I kid you not. Spammety-Spam, wonderful Spam!

PeaceBang is heading off to bed, grateful to snuggle down after a long day without visions of her big television head to keep her awake and obsessing.

That will apparently happen at some point next week.

I'm so sorry. I'm going to have to say that I won't even try to give you accurate updates, since even Nancy who wrote and directed the piece doesn't have control over all of this.

I love you for your excitement and support,
Sorry that we're all disappointed this evening.
It will be on sometime within the week.
Vicki

"Nightline" Segment To Air TOMORROW, 3/2/07

2007-03-01T21:25:00.000-05:00

Hello dear people,

It looks like our segment got bumped in favor of more urgent news. The producer phoned to tell me that it is expected to air tomorrow night, Friday, March 2. Of course, that could change too. Keep checking here for updates.

Sorry for being such a tick about this. I'm getting tired of it, too!

Good night! xoxo PB

PeaceBang Probably on "Nightline" Tonight, ABC

2007-03-01T08:04:00.000-05:00

Well, Powder Pigeons, a big kiss of peace to you for making this such a wild adventure.

It's very likely that I will be appearing on "Nightline" tonight on ABC, 11:35 EST. I will be hearing from the producer, Nancy Cordes, after the 11:00 meeting today, but I wanted to post this before I leave for the church and get too busy with all that the rest of the day has in store.

I won't be watching when it airs -- I'll save that for later, when I can be with supportive friends and perhaps a Manhattan -- but I hope you'll let me know how you think I did speaking to the integrity of ministry and the necessity of taking our image seriously.

Ministry is like this: You get your heart, soul, body and mind prepared, you show up and do the best you can to communicate the love of God and the relevancy of religious life, you go home and make some soup and start on another task, and you accept that much of what happens is the work of the Holy Spirit, and not you. You tank, you soar, you really have no way of knowing much of the time -- meanwhile, life goes on and you are called to keep showing up for all of it. Of course we care about style and image, all because that shines a light on our ultimate Christian vocation, to clothe ourselves in love. Thank you, Saul of Tarsus.

Tomorrow: a day-long workshop on Prophetic Spirituality at Episcopal Divinity School in Cambridge. So looking forward to it! Will I see any of you there?

Preppy Pastors, Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

2007-03-01T07:13:00.000-05:00

Good morning, doves!

This inquiry just in from reader Mel, who writes in the comments section:

"I am grateful for a blog that blends the spirit with fashion. This is a gift from the divine.

... I have a question, a fashion question PeaceBang, and as an over 40 blogger, I am not sure if I contact you directly or post it here: BUT: here goes--blazers--I need a blue one (I think) and I am wondering, what about a double-breasted.

This blog has given me hope that fashion and enlightened religion can be integrated, just as well as Anselm integrated faith and learning.

But, alas, I am afraid. I wear lots of corduroy and Merrell shoes (or the like). Deep down, though, I still wanna wear blue blazers and loafers.

My fear is that this really isn't fashion, but a regression to my evangelical, preppy past. What say ye?"

DEAR Mel,

Well bless you heart for that flamboyant praise. A gift from the divine!? My heavens, PeaceBang must fan herself for a moment.

But you ask a serious question, and I will answer as best I can.

Darling, if you feel comfortable, polished and vibrant in a preppy double-breasted blazer, and your blazer fits, is handsome, and it makes you feel prepared to meet the world when you wear it, who cares if it's the latest rage? There's not a thing wrong with being preppy and classic if that's who you are. You're the Preppy Classic Minister, and the point is that you've respected your office enough to make an effort to look put-together. If the look you put together is preppy, and you exude approachability, joy in your work, honor for God's creation, and confidence in the vision of the Kingdom, well, rock ON with your fabulous self. No one ever said you couldn't serve the Lord wearing tasseled loafers.

Fashion is fleeting. Yes, we should be aware of trends, but only to the extent that it prompts us to consider: what image am I projecting? Am I dressing in a way that visually connects me to NOW? Am I a walking advertisement for the beauty, vibrancy and relevancy of religious life lived in community? Or am I throwing on the first convenient thing and running out of the house under the mistaken impression that my spirituality is such a shining and evident thing to those around me that I can transcend the social conventions around proper grooming and attire.

That said, you may want to read this post to see if perhaps you're in a bit of a rut:
http://beautytipsforministers.blogspot.com/2006/11/signature-or-rut.html

And Mel, you can always write to me with or without a photo at peacebang - at - msn.com.
PeaceBang is there for you.

How Much To Pay For a Bag?

2007-02-28T19:47:00.000-05:00

I received an inquiry last night from a fellow blogger and reader (not a minister)* who wanted to know, "How much is too much to pay for a bag?"

What a wonderful question to get on the day the stock market crashed! PeaceBang has spent the last 24 hours wtih a dimply smile on her face, the kind of smile that says, "I'm trying really hard not to look at my pension account balance on the Fidelity website right now! Because although I have deep and profound fears of becoming a bag lady upon retirement, I am staying in the moment! And thanking God for the miracle of compounding interest!"

So let's not think about the stock market... let's think about bags. Deep, cleansing breaths.

Now, PeaceBang loves bags. Bags are easy to love. They don't pinch your feet, they never get tight if you gain a few pounds, they're always ready to go when you are, and if you get them really roomy like I do, you can fit your day planner, cosmetics case, a few books, a cell phone, gloves, hat, a water bottle, and the Louisiana Purchase in there and go about your day feeling so prepared.

PeaceBang buys most of her bags at TJ Maxx, Filene's Basement or Macy's, all of which have an excellent selection. Lately, I am thinking that Target has a fine selection, although many of their offerings are rather wrinkly and cotton-based, which is not very polished and professional.

The most I think I have ever spent on a bag is $75, and most often I spend closer to $20 (I'm telling you, TJ Maxx is your man here). But that's just me. I rotate my bags so frequently none of them get much wear-and-tear, and for those who can't be bothered switching bags, your one classic favorite will get quite a work-out.

All of which is my way of saying that
http://www.katespade.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2105628&cp=1863844.1863855.2117272&parentPage=family
this Kate Spade bag, the current lust-item of this reader, seems to me to be a pretty practical lust-item. After all, it's not a poodle-shaped, diamante-encrusted clutch. It is a classic handbag. It is extremely handsome. Kate Spade is adored by millions of women not only for her elegant designs but I assume because she makes a durable, well-made product.

You have to know your outer limits. PeaceBang's big ticket items are literally big tickets: I dearly love to travel and am willing to spend $400 on a plane ticket to a faraway land, but not on a bag. I lose sunglasses all the time, so I never spend more than $15 on them. A friend of mine loses sunglasses all the time but spends $100 on them. She loves the feel of a luxuriously heavy frame on her face. Some of us will splurge on a swanky perfume because we don't feel complete without it, and I heard a seminarian today say that she gets facials a few times a year; something PeaceBang is pretty sure isn't in many seminarians' budgets. Self-care is exactly that. Self. As in yourself, not somebody else. Brava, I say.

Your money is yours by virtue of your hard work, bubelahs. It represents your life-force and your energy. We all have a unique relationship to money. The important thing is that you know what yours is, how you developed it, and how healthy you think it is. Before you spend big bucks on a bag or anything else, you should know how such purchases affect your sense of yourself, your values and your priorities, and factor in your desire there too, 'cause it matters.

If you want to expend $400 of your life force on a Kate Spade bag, PeaceBang affirms your decision and and hopes you will cherish that bag for many years to come. She hopes that it will give you a sense of joy and confidence every time you sling it over your shoulder and go out to rock the world at Georgetown Law School, or wherever life takes you.

* Madgebaby's comment prompts me to say again that the woman who wrote in about the Kate Spade bag is not a minister, and that a Kate Spade bag does strike me as (a) beyond most pastor's budget but (b) too "designer-y" for ministers. Agree? Disagree?
However, it was a great question and I was eager to ruminate on it with you.

Spring Trenches

2007-02-28T09:04:00.000-05:00

Aside from the fact that there's a camera from "Nightline" watching me type right now, I do want to recommend to you a lovely cropped trench coat I saw in "In Style" magazine -- definitely a nice outwear option for the hipper set (and I'm sorry, but double-breasted isn't a great choice for fuller-figured guys and gals):

Cotton American Eagle,
ae.com
$80.

The fact that it's cropped makes it unsuitable for formal professional appearances, but it is a smart-looking option for daytime jaunts.

For more professional appearances, consider a Nautica trench (also double-breasted) in cotton-nylon in beige/neutral. It's a heftier price at $189, but unless you outgrow it, it should last you simply eons. That style ain't going nowhere but right into Classic and More Classic. For the more color-ific risk-takers among us, there's a canary yellow double-breasted cropped trench by J.Crew for about the same bucks, $168. But your investment there won't be as good, as bright yellow is very au courant. You granddaughters will love you for it, though.

"Closet Smarts" To the Rescue

2007-02-27T16:15:00.000-05:00

So I wrote to my style-maven friend Emily to inquire as to what a gal wears on television, and she responded promptly, seriously and helpfully.

She can advise you, too:

http://www.closetsmarts.com/

Her book is avaiable at fine independent and chain book stores everywhere, and also on that web site that starts with an "A."

Thanks, Em.
It's not a good look to wear a blazer that one can't button, is it? Because you recommended mocha brown, which I have, but it's from a slimmer era in my life. Not *much* slimmer, but slimmer.

Her Name Was "Priestly"

2007-02-26T18:45:00.001-05:00

miranda priestly
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Aloha, fabulous and darling ones.

I was just cruising through some Oscar commentaries and thinking about how much I admire Meryl Streep no matter what she wears to award shows, and remembering how much I adored her in "The Devil Wears Prada" as the steely fashion maven Miranda Priestly. And then it hit me: "priestly." An absolutely fitting name!!

If you'll permit PeaceBang to get a wee bit philosophical for a moment, it isn't too far-fetched to point out that fashion, like religion, is all about ritual and worship.

If we believe that serious fashionistas are worshiping false idols, we certainly won't get anywhere in a conversation with them -- or anyone else who is taken by the popular message that Appearance Is Everything--by living a planet away from the beauty they are trying to be part of.

The deep desire for beauty isn't shallow. Channeling that desire by spending your paycheck on Manolo Blahniks is. But darlings, why judge? Get out there and evangelize!
We are ministers in a culture where people earnestly prowl the cosmetics counters and the sports emporia seeking some kind of transcendence. Why not meet them there occasionally and start the conversation by bonding over the splendor of the latest Chanel lipgloss, or the rad coolness of the latest style of Nike shoes?
Throwing stones from a distance will certainly do no good.

Start a conversation with how much God loves us, or on the joys of tithing (and PeaceBang does tithe to charitable organizations, btw), and watch folks edge out the door. Compliment that shopper on her lovely necklace that belonged to her grandmother, and open the doors for something deeper to emerge. Do you begin every pastoral encounter by sonorously intoning "And how is it with your soul, my child?" No. You talk about the weather. You notice someone's haircut, you find a comfortable way to sit. You make eye contact, you hone in. You attend to each other by paying attention. Before you get to the deep stuff, it's just two descendants of monkeys sitting together on the same branch going hoo-ha, hoo-ha.

If we think that God made a beautiful creation, a natural religious response is to want to be as beautiful as possible within that creation. I haven't met a minister yet who was so spiritual that they weren't walking around in a body that needed to be groomed and clothed every day. When you get promoted to the job of Holy Spirit, you're all set. For now, you've got incarnation to deal with. Sorry. I know it's not easy.

I've been looking lately for a quote by the Jungian analyst James Hillman who made the startling comment in one of his books that American personal slovenliness was such an affront to the rest of the world's aesthetic sense that it was actually a casus belli.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casus_belli

When I originally read that statement my blood ran cold with a combination of alarm, offense and denial. I wish I could find the quote to see how I'd react to it now, but so far, no luck. I really want to find it. If we have any Hillmanites out there, can you help?

I'm just gettin' all philosophical because lots of people have been asking me deep questions about aesthetics and beauty and stuff lately. Cripes.

So to get back to business, let's have a Product Review: I tried a sample of Kiehl's Soothing Gel Masque last night which was lervly and yes, soothing!

More on Vestments

2007-02-26T18:11:00.000-05:00

I had to share this with you!

One of my parishioners told me the other day that there used to be a store in a neighboring town called "Heavenly Rounds - Religious Vestments & Square Dancing Clothing."

Isn't that delicious!!??

Speaking of vestments, this is the Rev. Dr. Kendra Vaughan Covey, Elder High Priestess and Metaphysician of the First Church of Wicca: http://www.firstchurchofwicca.org/AboutOurMinister.html

One of you saw Rev. Dr. Kendra on television and wrote to express curiosity her decision to wear a clerical collar. I thought it would be best to let Kendra speak for herself and sent her an e-mail inquiry, to which she responded,

"First, let me say that the collar - although it is most widely accepted in the Roman Catholic faith - is not a Christian item at all. It was brought to us in the 1700's as a form of clothing worn by all clergy at the time. Since then it is very common to see a collar worn by Methodist ministers, Unitarian Universalist ministers, as well as Non-Denominational ministers.

Incidentally, Raymond Buckland (The Father of American Witchcraft) and Oberon Zell-Ravenheart, the founder of the Gray School of Wizardry, both wore a collar for several years while active in Pagan ministry.

My reasons for wearing the collar are quite simple:

1) I am first, a Non-Denominational minister that believes I should be available to all people at all times. You would be amazed at the number of people who actually stop me wherever I am to tell me their problems and ask for advice. I am thrilled that I can help.

2) I have a pentacle embroidered on the left cuff of every sleeve - so when people stop and ask me what type of minister I am I show them the pentacle - say Pagan, and look at it as an opportunity to educate one more person - emphasizing of course, that we do not proselytize.

3) Currently, I am making huge strides in being accepted into several Interfaith Councils and working as a hospital and prison Chaplain. The collar gives me instant recognition as clergy and of course, brings a level of much needed respect to the Pagan community from the Community at Large.

I hope that helps clarify things for you!"

Rev. Dr. Kendra also recommended to me this vestments glossary:
http://www.kencollins.com/glossary/vestments.htm

So there you have it. One non-Christian clergyperson's explanation of why she wears clericals. (I think where she says early on that the collar is not Christian at all, she meant to say "Catholic," corresponding to Collins' explanation of the collar's Protestant origins).

Thanks for allowing me to post this, Rev. Dr. Kendra. Blessings and kiss of Peace!

Television-Induced Existential Crisis

2007-02-26T00:59:00.000-05:00

Hello in a post-Oscar moment before heading off to bed, powder pigeons!

I watched the entire telecast at my friends' house, on one of those ginormous flat-screen TVs that make you feel as though you are THERE.

I thought that almost all the stars look smashing this year, but I didn't much enjoy the show. It dragggggged. The Al Gore moment was lovely, and I was so happy for Jennifer Hudson, Forrest Whittaker and Martin Scorcese. I adore Helen Mirren.

It occurred to me watching the Oscars that I just don't watch television very much at all, and the vast majority of my encounters with pop culture come through the internet or brief interludes with magazines -- usually in the line at the grocery store.

So I suffered an anxiety attack right there in M and P's living room realizing that I am going to be on television -- a medium I don't really have any meaningful connection to!

I believe that this little flurry of attention is related to the mistaken impression people have that we clergy are remote creatures, too busy being super-duper holy to be fully engaged in the world the way "ordinary" people are. You know, I know, and God knows that we're not superduper holy, we're not remote, and we're not disengaged from the real world as lay people know it. Like everyone else, we're trying to juggle all our responsibilities in life, with the added layer of attending people through the spiritual journey and speaking a word of hope and grace on Sunday mornings. We're trying to figure out how to communicate through our appearance some of the relevancy and vibrancy we believe is present in the contemporary Church.

How can we do things like connect to pervasive forces like television while still honoring the essential aspect of our calling? Television requires sound bites: ministers don't think, speak or live in sound bites. Television says, "entertain me!" and ministers don't entertain, we engage. (I mean, I certainly intend to entertain you as PeaceBang, but you're not the general public. This conversation is by us, for us, and about us, darlings!).

And yet we must be willing to reach people through popular media. If you had a few moments of time on national television, what message about the vitality of liberal religious life would you want to communicate? I've got my talking points ready (hint: it's not actually fashion we care about so much as better managing our complicated role and image in our churches and in society), but I'd love to hear some of yours.

PeaceBang Suffers For Her Art

2007-02-25T07:39:00.000-05:00

Dearly Beloved,

A wee little camera from "Nightline" will be in the worship service with us this morning, and PeaceBang is feeling almost grimly protective of the religious intent of the day, hoping upon hope that it just feels like No Big Deal to her congregation. The interview comes later in the week, and we are just going to have to Be Brave and bring the message of clergy vibrancy and relevancy to the world.

As much as she is calmly focused on the work of the parish, PeaceBang also understands that she should try to look fresh and alive and "camera-ready" this morning, and so went for a facial and eyebrow waxing earlier this week.

The facial, done with all Eminence Organic products, which smell absolutely edible and which she looooooves, was a delight, in that way that having fire ants march all over your face eating you alive is a delight.
Which is to say that no matter how organic a product may be, darlings, it can still be strong and it can still irritate your skin!! As PeaceBang lay there with her face boiling under some kind of "gentle" alpha hydroxy masque and paprika-based topcoat mildly protesting that her face was scalding, her facialist chortled in an understanding manner and said, "Don't panic!"

Panic! Why would I panic? There's nothing more relaxing in the world than having six layers of your skin peeled off your face in the days immediately preceding your first national television appearance! Why, it's like skipping through a copse of violets on a warm spring day! If that copse of violets is in Hell! Panic? Don't be sil'!

As for the eyebrow waxing, that was not in the original plan but was a spontaneous recommendation by the aesthetician. PeaceBang can report to you that eyebrow waxing is also the pleasantest of treatments, if you're the type of person who enjoys the sensation of your skin being ripped off your face. But... courage, mon amis! The pain, she is but fleeting, and the eyebrows are really much more cleanly shaped.

And now for coffee, deep breathing, prayer, preparation of the children's story, final review of the service, and then .... oh heavens, I'll have to remember to get dressed, too.

Bring the good news, lovely ones! Shine on! And a blessed Sabbath to you all.

[Update at 1:30: What a nice church day! Sunny, beautiful, happy, full. Elements all good (we could have used one more hymn, but I didn't realize it in time for the order of service, darnit), sermon as well-crafted as I could manage, and I got through the children's message coherently, even though I usually clutch at unscripted storytelling. I noticed the camera once or twice, but otherwise forgot about it. I know we're still in the deep of Lent, but today had that "comin-around-to-spring feeling. Lovely. Church a-buzz with much good programming, upcoming stewardship campaign, usual high spirits. Sorry, just had to say it as my real self! xoxo PB/VW]

Lipstick On The Communion Chalice

2007-02-24T14:54:00.000-05:00

A lovely and cosmetically-conscientious reader says,

"Hello Peacebang!

Big problem for a chalice bearer and future Episcopal deacon. Lipstick on the chalice at communion is a nasty thing, and shouldn't be put there by someone who has to wipe it off! What's a good lipstick that will adhere to the lips and not come off on the chalice? I've been doing without on Sunday but now that I'm fiftysomething and rather white-haired, I could use a little more color.
Thanks from a fan.
peace,M."

Dear M,

Oh, ewww! I hadn't thought about the problem of lipstick residue on the Communion chalice, but you're good to bring it to my attention.

PeaceBang is a huge fan of CoverGirl Outlast All Day Lip Color in Blush Pearl and wears it every Sunday to church. Any of the CoverGirl Outlast All Day colors are good, since the moisturizing topcoat is no very emollient but not gooey.

I often wear it with another lipcolor on top, but it works great on its own.

Let us know how it works!
Kiss of peace to you!

Rather Handsome, Wouldn't You Say?

2007-02-24T07:56:00.000-05:00

Nautica Sale
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Gentlemen, there seems to be a sale on Nautica garments here,

http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=186994&CategoryID=27291

PeaceBang thinks that these are good-looking clothes and quite affordable. Go check them out. And while you're looking at the sweaters, consider not drowning yourself in enormous knits or upstaging your face with loud, busy knitted patterns. It's you we want to hear speaking, not your big ole Dr. Huxtable sweater.

(Yes, you can wear white pants. You have to be in good shape, and you have to keep them clean, but they can look crisp and really nice in the warmer months. Consider pairing with a navy single-breasted blazer and handsome floral tie for meetings.)

No-Iron Shirts, And A Land's End Catalog Review

2007-02-24T07:48:00.000-05:00

Look, fellas!
I found you some nice no-iron shirts from Land's End!
http://tinyurl.com/2jtwly

While the boys are off shopping, can we gals tawk?

PeaceBang was perusing the new Plus Size Collection of the Land's End catalog, which she generally finds to be a source of affordable and well-made clothing. Land's End seems to be deluging her mailbox lately, in fact.

But she was very unhappy with this latest offering and if there are any plus size designers out there, PeaceBang would like to HAVE A WORD WITH YOU. Through a MEGAPHONE, darling.

PLEASE STOP DESIGNING CLOTHES FOR SQUARE-SHAPED WOMEN. WE ARE NOT BOXES.
THANK YOU.

Now, PeaceBang has not noticed this problem on the on-line catalog -- which has no models -- but she notices it when looking at how the clothes fit one real-life women (if catalog models could be considered "real life," and for the sake of argument we'll say that they can).

These clothes, when worn by women, seem to PeaceBang to be mostly shapeless and on the edge of frumpy. Oh sure, the models look cute. That's because they had their hair and make-up professionally done and they're in fabulous lighting and smiling huge, well-rested smiles and standing around on beaches and porches without a care in the world. Wouldn't you look adorable under similar circumstances? But PeaceBang is a shrewd little vixen and she is not fooled. Outside the magical Land Of Catalog, those clothes are mostly just not designed very well, especially the skirts which are really just a Long Column Of Fabric. We are not fooled, Land's End! Your Long Print Bias Skirt on page 31 is just a sheet with a zipper and button closure, isn't it? Isn't it?
Thank you for not making your blazers similarly shapeless. You can fire your skirt and shirt designer and keep the blazer and pants designer.

This catalog also highlights the difficulty we have determining genres of clothing and whether or not they will work for us. In this particular case, PeaceBang is typically confused. Is this Land's End clothing meant to be casual clothing women could ostensibly wear to work, or is it meant to be casual sportswear that would be especially nice for gardening in?

Hence, methinks, the crisis in dressing for many of us. There's too much gray area out there. And that's where YOU have to be discerning and wise, powder pigeons. Land's End or Macy's or Target or Kohl's or Dayton's are not going to make it clear to you in what context their offerings are acceptable or appropriate. YOU have to do the work of finding your own look and determining what's appropriate for your work and your message.

While we're on the subject, PeaceBang happens to think that the colors of many of Land's End garments are puerile -- too reminiscent of the nursery to adorn her 41-year old person. In fact, PeaceBang finds this problem with many manufacturers of sportswear for plus-sized women. All those complexion-killing greens and cheap saccharine pinks and horrible powdery blues.... eesh. PeaceBang likes colors with a bit more complexity and sophistication when she can find them, and by that she doesn't mean "island turquoise" or "deep coral." She does not work as a luau hostess, Land's End. And I love pink -- but that raspberry pink they're calling "French pink," well, non. That's not French pink. PeaceBang has been to France and she can tell you that that's not French pink. It's more like Akron, Ohio Pink.

That said, the neutrals are quite nice. And you thought I never had anything nice to say.

My point is, darlings, that not only have I not finished my first coffee of the morning, but is to say that the clothier's job is to sell you clothing, not to define your image for you or to work with your figure or your coloring. That's up to you.

It's hard work, but someone's gotta do it, and you're the best one for the job. In fact, when it comes right down to it, you're the only one for the job.

She Gave Her Ordination The Boot

2007-02-23T22:03:00.001-05:00

ordination boot
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Remember when D. wrote in and told us about how she broke her ankle right before her ordination and was so upset that she wouldn't be able to wear fabulous shoes? And then she decorated her little ankle boot with rhinestones?

http://beautytipsforministers.blogspot.com/2007/02/she-glued-rhinestones-to-her.html

Well, here's the photo. And it's just a wonderful shot.

Blessings to the Rev. D. and her intrepid sense of humor and flair!

Please Pray For Orlando

2007-02-23T18:29:00.001-05:00

Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

My living God, is that a MULLET on Orlando Bloom?

And why is his skin so gray?
And his eyes so baggy?

PeaceBang is so deeply dismayed that she might have to go have some chocolate. Now is not the time to return to sermon-writing.

Healing prayers to the previously-dishy and elegant Mr. Bloom.
Lord have mercy.

(thanks to GoFugYourself.com for the photo)

Matte Jersey Dress

2007-02-23T11:47:00.000-05:00

Now, I'm not crazy about this drab color, but I'm just pointing out that you can get a perfectly nice, professionally-appropriate dress for $55:

http://www.elisabeth.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2620641&cp=1986606.2034832&parentPage=family

To My Andover Newton Classmate

2007-02-22T19:20:00.000-05:00

Hi, colleague and classmate!

You came into class today and commented on my "fame" and said that your wife thinks you have no fashion sense and maybe we should talk.

You can tell your wife that PeaceBang thinks you look just nifty.

You were wearing a big blue sweater over your clerical collar today. The sweater was a pretty shade of blue and was all nubby and textured and nice. You looked warm. You were wearing some kind of perfectly fine pants and I didn't notice your shoes, but I noticed your very au courant eyeglasses that look great on you, and I think your beard and hair are great -- kind of shaggy and friendly but well-groomed. You've got energy and presence and you just get yourself all snazzed up and out of that collar and take that wife of yours out dancing.

Tell her that if she's worried about "no fashion sense," she's got the wrong guy.

Fashion Emergency: Ash Wednesday Edition

2007-02-21T15:07:00.000-05:00

Dearests,

I pause in the middle of the day to post this burning questions about vestments because I am
aware that some of you have evening services and this might help you, too:

Dear PeaceBang,

I just finished an Ash Wednesday service and had an unexpected problem with my vestments.

I know you tend to focus on what we wear under our vestments, but I imagine you or one of your readers might be able to help me out.I have one of those gorgie Guatemalan woven stoles in purple which I love to break out for Advent and Lent.

The problem is that its one long piece of tapestry, about 6" wide, with no stitching or darts or anything to help it lay neatly around my shoulders and behind my neck.

I've tried folding the middle part a bit so it could sit flat against the back of my neck, but it looks a little silly. I've also tried the trick of letting it go really loose, not letting the center touch the back of my neck, making it look like a hood back there. I hate being preoccupied with these things during church and Lord knows I can't go about fussing with it once I'm up there.

Any suggestions on how to wear it or how to fix it so it looks neater?Thanks, and keep up the good work, Chick Pea.

-Mamacita

Dear Mamacita,

Did you just call me "Chick Pea?" How cute are you?

Well, about one thing you are certainly correct: you cannot go fussing around with your stole once you're up there.

As for the rest, this is a tough question, and I would think that a good seamstress might be consulted before you wear this stole again.

Readers, what say you?

The Trouser Situation Room

2007-02-21T00:22:00.000-05:00

PeaceBang is really very tired right now, but she's a little bit wired and suspects that laying her head on the pillow would yield no sleep until she's unwound a bit.
And how better to unwind than to cozy up to you, my dear ones, with a cup of chamomile tea and a couple of observations about

A LITTLE PROBLEM WE SEEM TO BE HAVING WITH CLERGY TROUSERS CHOICES.

PeaceBang is taking deep, cleansing breaths.

She is going to try to stay calm as she says this.

Clergy should not wear sweat pants for their daily work of ministry. Sweat pants are pants that are black stretchy cotton and that taper at the ankle. Perhaps you didn't know that those are sweat pants. PeaceBang assures you that they are, and that they are not appropriate for public appearances of any kind except the gym.

Women clergy should not go about pastoral business in Levi 501 jeans. Sorry, gals. Men can get away with it. We cannot, unless they are paired with structured, dressier tops. Please, we love denim. But Levis 501s and ancient, faded Lee jeans are not appropriate denim garments for anyone in a public leadership role. They are what your grandmother used to refer to as "dungarees." Save them for gardening, or grocery shopping, or a day when you won't be in church.

Dear ones. It's not complicated. Your pants should fit. They should not be pegged at the ankle unless you're such a fashion maven that you actually went out and bought yourself a new pair of the "skinny jeans" that were all the rage among extremely slim and fit 20-somethings this past year. Trousers should not end at the top of your ankle. If they have shrunk over the years, for heaven's sake thank them for their loyal service and retire them!

PeaceBang understands that it's hard toiling in the vineyards of the LORD and that we all want to be comfy. But please, for the love of Merv Griffin, be better prepared to represent religious leadership than sweat pants and dungarees.

Regardez, my doves:

If you're wearing denim pants -- PeaceBang is this close to not calling them jeans anymore -- aim for denim that is dark and long enough. (No need to get these particular jeans with the snazzy pocket that draws attention to the posterior, but the length and wash are great here).
This little gal whose image I randomly nabbed off Google Image Search is friendly and actually more polished than several clergypeople I saw at a meeting the other day (!), but those jeans are too faded and inappropriate for work. Save them for private life.

Okay, honeybuns? Can we work on this PANTS SITUATION so that I can stop feeling the need to call Wolf Blitzer?

PeaceBanging Poppa T

2007-02-20T22:41:00.000-05:00

PeaceBang is still fanning her face after this media blitz, and is looking forward to bringing the Ministry of Clergy Beautification to a wider audience in days to come. We may even be making prime time, cupcakes! Won't that be fun?

For now, though, we cannot just flop around on our laurels, can we? We have serious work to do. Like responding to this e-mail from our friend, the Revd. Timothy Holder, Founding Priest and Pastor of the HipHopEMass USA!
(I didn't add that exclamation point, it's on his signature) who wrote to say, and I quote: "PeaceBang me, Sista!"

Being the pastor of a small town New England Unitarian church doesn't exactly qualify me to be a "SISTA," but Tim, my little magnolia blossom, I shall happily comment on this photo:

Well, this is easy schmeezy!

Timotei is known professionally as "Poppa T," and he has a very special urban ministry with the hip hop community. Therefore, he has a very special look.
Tim writes that his "Justice Now + I Have A Dream" jacket was a gift from the rappers of Boston.* Isn't that nice? It's quite a smashing garment, actually. It's just not something you or I could wear.

Tim can wear it because it's a gift from people with whom he is in actual ministerial relationship. It is not some uber-chic thing that he picked up during Fashion Week so he could look the part of a hip hop pastor. He is a hip-hop pastor. He actually invented the HipHopE Mass, so he has serious street cred.

How a gay man from Alabama got to be an ordained Episcopalian priest and go on to found a hugely popular hip hop worship tradition is another story for another blog, but PeaceBang is just here to say that Timmy, you look wonderful, you're adorable, and big kiss of peace to you. Can't wait to see you in April.

*Where they will celebrate HipHopEMass April 18 at St. Paul's Cathedral. See you there!

Would You Like a PeaceBang Consultation?

2007-02-20T18:49:00.000-05:00

Darling ones,

"Nightline" would like to do a little story on Yours Truly, and I have agreed to let them film me on Monday, my day off. I will be doing normal pastoral things and then we'd LOVE to get some footage of me consulting with YOU about your image, persona, and clothing.

If you'd be willing to drive down to Norwell and endure the glaring lights of brief prime time fame, please let me know.

The segment would air as part of the "Sign of the Times" segment, and we all know that "Nightline" does good work. I promise you that it will be lovely, fun, and dignified.

Kiss of peace,
PeaceBang

For New Readers

2007-02-20T07:59:00.000-05:00

Hello, dear new friends! You may have figured out that you can do a keyword search on this blog for those subjects that especially interest you, but I'd also like to direct you to some of the more popular posts on basic subjects of interest.

Here's where I talk about make-up tips:

http://beautytipsforministers.blogspot.com/2006/04/make-up-tips-part-i.html
And basic ministerial attire:
http://beautytipsforministers.blogspot.com/2006/04/ministerial-attire.html

Here's where I get on my soapbox about clergy drabness :

http://beautytipsforministers.blogspot.com/2006/08/does-god-call-us-to-comfort-in-any.html

http://beautytipsforministers.blogspot.com/2006/07/dress-for-highest-moments-of-your.html

Here's where I explain that I do this because I'm the biggest stage mother of all clergy, and I want all my babies to be stars!!

http://beautytipsforministers.blogspot.com/2006/05/shine-on-stars.html

Here's where I keep looking in vain for a pair of nice black flats:
http://beautytipsforministers.blogspot.com/2006/09/lord-why-dost-thou-mock-me-in-this.html

And here's where I remind us that we're vessels of God:
http://beautytipsforministers.blogspot.com/2006/08/love-and-care-for-all-of-you.html

Kiss of peace!!
xxoxo PB

Dear Boston Globe Readers [updated 8 pm, 2/18]

2007-02-17T09:50:00.000-05:00

Dear Boston Globe Sunday paper reader,

I'm so glad that curiosity about this weekend's article in the Globe about this blog
http://www.boston.com/yourlife/fashion/articles/2007/02/18/preaching_fashion/
has brought you here, and welcome to Beauty Tips For Ministers!

Whether you're here because you're clergy or because you're a curious layperson, or because you're just bored and have nothing else to do, I'm glad you've stopped by.

As Globe readers now know, when I'm not blogging in the outrageous persona of PeaceBang, I'm the Rev. Victoria Weinstein of Norwell, Massachusetts.

In all seriousness, and as myself, I warmly invite you to consider a Unitarian Universalist congregation if you are seeking a spiritual home. We are a free faith tradition and gather in covenanted community to support one another in the search for truth and meaning. Whatever your religious background -- or if you have none at all -- you are welcome to join with us in the work of cultivating reverence, ministering to one another, engaging in the work of social justice and ethical commitment. We are a theologically diverse people and abide with one another in the spirit of love --
cherishing our doubts and differences and affirming the inherent worth and dignity of every person.
In the words of one of our spiritual forebears, "We need not think alike to love alike."

You can find out more about us at www.uua.org, where you will find a handy directory of congregations near you.

My own beloved community, the First Parish in Norwell, welcomes you to join with us on Sunday mornings at 10:00 AM for our worship services and Sunday School. We have a very vibrant congregational life in Norwell, with opportunities for religious education for all ages, service and outreach projects, and fellowship with a friendly, creative, caring group of people. You can learn more about us at www.firstparishnorwell.org, and I hope you will. (P.S. I will be guest preaching in Kingston this morning, so I'll see you next week in Norwell.)

Thank you to Globe reporter Michael Paulson for being such a wonderful and responsible journalist and for shepherding this anxious pastor through a story that, in the hands of a lesser writer, could have just been sensationalistic and embarrassing for me. A PeaceBang halo to you, Mr. Paulson.

[Oh my GOSH. I just now discovered the "interactive graphic" on p. 2 of the online version. What a riot!! It's like playing with a paper doll , and although I was very nervous when being recorded for the commentary, I don't think you can tell:
http://www.boston.com/yourlife/fashion/articles/2007/02/18/preaching_fashion/?page=2 ]

[After having listened to the commentary on the "interactive graphic" segment of the online story, I want to clarify that when I say that clergywomen need "more color," I mean not just color as in pink cheeks, but polish and definition of features regardless of skin color.]

To my readers who wrote to Michael with testimonials about the influence of this blog in your lives, bless your hearts. Your kindness and eloquence have deeply touched me. Even if you didn't make it into the article, Michael Paulson forwarded your e-mails to me and I have read them all. They are absolutely wonderful and inspiring.

Have a beautiful and blessed Sabbath.
Peace.
Bang.

[photo by my pal james estes, blogging as "peregrinato"]