Friday, May 05, 2006

Jeans And T-Shirts

A woman minister who blogs as Pink Shoes wrote after Easter about how she doesn't want to shop for a pair of new jeans because she's not best friends with her body right now.

A few comments on jeans, my dears:

Stylish, please. There is no reason for frumpy "mom jeans." Jeans are very stylish now and have been for years. You shouldn't be making professional appearances in Levi 501s. You should invest in a flattering pair of dark denim jeans with some fashion edge to them. There's no excuse not to; even if you weigh in the upper poundage, as Lane Bryant stocks LOADS of cool styles.

A bootcut is very nice. And yes, you must check the rear view. They should FIT. Ministers do have derrieres, and there's no reason we should look like we could fit a HarperCollins Study Bible and Concordance in our pants. That's why we have stylish bags, darlings.

A word on t-shirts, another item of apparel that has made it into the workplace:
a touch of spandex makes a world of difference, girls. They give a "t" some shape and fit, both of which you should be looking for. Those Hanes 100% cotton jobbies you've been sneaking under your blazers and sweaters need to GO. Save them for yard work. They're shapeless and hideous, and after they've been through the wash and several messy dinners, make rags out of them. Don't think we can't see those stains and that we're not distressed by the shapeless neck.

Talbots makes a nice t-shirt with a touch of spandex. Macy's has a boatload of good options, too. A decent t-shirt will generally cost more than Hanes, but you don't need every bloody color in the rainbow. A black, a white and a cream will do to start.

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