Friday, May 05, 2006

Cream, Ivory, White, Tan And Khaki

PeaceBang has noticed that a lot of men and women are walking around in neutral colors that look like hell on them.

A tip: When choosing neutral colored shirts and blazers, do bother to try the thing on for color. Tan is almost universally ugly on all skin tones. I don't care if it's on sale and it will "go with everything." Put it back. It doesn't "go" with your skin tone.

Darlings, trust me when I say it's worth the wait to to find the right creamy ivory or gentle pink-tinged white that will brighten you up every time you wear your garment.

And don't even think of wearing bright white without a little bit of make-up and hair do. Gentlemen, if you wear bright white, make sure you're devastatingly well-groomed and shaved. White brings out every blotchiness and five o'clock shadow. Wearers of white must needs be crisp, crisp, crisp.


Anonymous Sarah said...

Oh, PeaceBang, I am lovin' your site. Thank you for this service to the world.

A dear parishioner gave me a gift certificate for an appointment with a color consultant who uses the "Color 1" system. I never in the world would have done this on my own, but it turned out to be wonderfully helpful for my professional wardrobe.

On the subject of "cream, ivory, tan, and khaki," she said that khaki and taupe never look good on anyone--they're "dead colors." And she helped advise me on what shades of white look good next to my complexion.

Best of all, Color 1 consultants make up a little personalized travel wallet with samples of 40-50 colors that look great on you, including your shades of white, tan, black, and rust. You can bring this little wallet shopping--very handy. Learn more about Color 1 at

p.s. Lest you think it was sexist of this parishioner to give me this, she also gave one to her male minister. I don't think it was "a hint" in either case--it's just her thing. :-)

10:49 PM  
Blogger Miss Kitty said...

Your blog is Cracking. Me. Up. Thank you for the anti-frumpiness laughs, PB! I found you through Going Jesus, and while I'm not a minister--I'm a 30-something adjunct college English professor--I can sure identify with the downward spiral toward frumpiness that comes both with age and vocation. Once upon a time, I wore stilettos and worked @ being gorgeous for a living (long story!), but now that I'm in a real-world career, I tend to go by the mantra of "My job is teaching, not being sexy." True, students tend not to take good-looking female teachers seriously. But it doesn't mean we can't (or shouldn't) be stylish and polished. I can see where the frumpy thing comes in with female ministers as well. I think I'll point my priest in your direction (she's mid-50s, rector of small Episcopal church).

Perhaps you could do a post on new/flattering glasses? I've had the same wire-rims since graduate school, and I think I'm going to go the sexy-smart route and get some pseudo-cateye frames in tortoiseshell.

Keep up the great work! This blog is surely your other ministry--you *are* helping people, you know.

12:56 AM  
Anonymous jinnis said...

I concurr with your verdict on the ugliness of most tans. While it may look nice on a hanger, that is where it should stay lest it come anywhere near my face. I will add that there are many browns with the same problem. Most seem just plain dull.

And on colors in general, cheers to sarah for getting her colors done. I had mine done as a gift from my mother when I was a teen. I admit I am not completely faithful by a long shot. I can talk myself out of that gulf between how wonderful something looks in the store and how terrible it looks on me, much to my later regret. However, because I know what colors work best, I have a gut feeling about what stores I will even enter. If the general color of a store feels "off" I pass it by. Shopping in general is much more productive because I have confidence in the general range of colors that look good on me. Having that baseline saves a lot of time and money.

12:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jean Kerr once wrote, "I can't wear beige because I am beige."

Amy (Zucker Morgenstern), waving PeaceBangwards from the West Coast

10:58 AM  
Anonymous Mrs. Philocrites said...

PeaceBang, you are SO RIGHT about the whole khaki thing. I do not own any khaki and discourage Philocrites from wearing it.

Can you also say something about white tights and turtlenecks if you haven't already? I saw this poor woman on campus in a white turtleneck under a jumper with white tights, and I just wanted to take her aside.

9:34 PM  
Blogger PeaceBang said...


And jumpers are almost as bad. The only way to redeem the inherent frumpiness of a jumper is to rock it up with a pair of opaque black tights, crazy platform boots and huge fun earrings. You could carry a Hello Kitty bag to add a dimension of whimsy, but only if you're under 35 and have the cute girl vibe to make it work.

10:31 AM  

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