Sunday, August 27, 2006

Back For the Fall

Hello dear readers!

I am back from vacation and in the final days before the full swing of the church year begins again. Looking at the number of beloveds who have suffered some health or other crises just recently, I am terribly glad that I have my fall shopping out of the way and can get myself prepared, heart, soul and lipstick, to be a strong and present pastor to my people.
Lady Death may look great in her glamorous black velvet cape, but she got nothing on my Steve Madden knock-offs from Payless. I am going to outdress and outclass that bitch coming and going, I tell you. She says, "Honey. I understand. You hate me now, but someday you and I are going to have a spa day that you will love."

She's right, but as for now I fear and fight her.

My heart feels wrung out with fear and helplessness when I contemplate saying goodbye to any of those cherished men and women who are on my private list of People Who Should Not Be Mortal. What else to do but stay close by them, pray, keep funeral readings updated on the computer, and order a new robe from WomanSpirit? I bought a tiny hammered silver cross when I was in Provincetown. I have a feeling it will not leave my neck.

Love is stronger than fear, and nothing is stronger than the scent of Philosophy Empowermint Body Wash in the morning. I breathe it in and know that I can do what must be done to face the day.
No, really. We have to laugh. Don't we have to laugh? We have to. Ministry is way too scary and serious not to laugh at.

I see my hair colorist this Wednesday afternoon for a dose of auburn to cover my straggly grays and some foils to keep my face framed in shining light from summer, however faux that light may be. I fear that I may be spending a lot of time bedside this coming year, and all my white hankies are cleaned and pressed and waiting in my lingerie drawer, little cotton soldiers in the army of the Lord.

I moved my bed so that my bedroom would have better feng shui. My room faces Main Street and the constant zoom of cars makes me highly anxious at night, even with a noise machine. The back bedrooms either have anxiety-provoking attic stairs in them (ghosts! intruders hiding up there!) or lack closet space.

My body, having fought off a stye, two bouts of fever blisters and food poisoning recently, obviously needs some help in the immunity department. I will start taking my Astra 8 herbal supplement again, daily, as soon as the food poisoning is really out of my system. After that, it's back to the gym, breathing exercises and prayer every day, eating organic as far as I am able, and no more cheap thrills like staying up 'til 3 am finishing my book.

I've laid in a good store of undies, hose and socks (10 pairs of nude, off-black sheer hoses, black tights and a collection of navy/charcoal) and ironed my blouses. Everything is back from the dry cleaner, and I pick up some things from the tailor next week. My boots are being re-soled, and I've had my teeth cleaned. In the absence of a Magical Elixir to save everyone you love from suffering, these are some of the things we can do.

I am sitting before the computer taking deep breaths and re-imagining how our Caring Committee team will do its ministry this year given all the recent hard news, and how we will seamlessly invite more participants into the blend. Non anxious. Non anxious. Non anxious.


PeaceBang recommends:
Kiehl's Lavender Foaming-Relaxing Bath With Sea Salts and Aloe Vera
Kiehl's Mineral Muscle Soak Foaming-Relaxing Bath with Sea Salts and Aloe Vera
EO Bath House Bubble Bath in Rose & Chamomile
The Universalist Prayer Book, 1895.

8 Comments:

Blogger ms. kitty said...

PeaceBang, thank God you're back! Please advise on body shapers. (Maybe you boys should quit reading for awhile if you don't want to discuss ladies' foundation garments.) Ms Kitty (not to be confused with Miss Kitty) finds she may need something to smooth out the speedbumps from stem to stern as she eases into the fall fashion season.

By the way, I'm investing in a great hooded sweatshirt for the fall UUMA chapter meeting. It says "Does this pulpit make my butt look fat?" It's available at RevGalBlogPals. Not that I really want anyone to answer that question, but it's a great conversation starter among the Clergy Chicks.

Please advise about the body shaper, Ms. PB.

5:40 PM  
Blogger PeaceBang said...

Kitty, you're not really going to appear in public in something that says "does this pulpit make my butt look big," are you? I have a funny greeting card that says that in my home, but on a SWEATSHIRT? What if you all ran into someone? Don't you expect to be seen by some human beings outside of the clergy family? I'm genuinely frightened, Auntie Em!

I've been wearing the same body shapers for years, and I don't even know who makes them any more. I get them at the Hanes-Bali-Playtex outlet and the tags are all worn away!

Let's open this up to the other readers. Also, you should know that there was a discussion on body shapers not long ago, if you want to scroll the archives.

My gut instinct (ha ha! Forgive the pun!) is to hie thee to a department store that has a wide variety of good shapers and just do some time in the dressing room. You'll never regret it!

5:46 PM  
Blogger jadebluestocking said...

PB:

I also had a frenzy of personal time this weekend-- I refer to them as "whole self spa days." Taking a piece of your advice, I weeded my closet ruthlessly (even the well-dressed librarian must admit to hoarding clothing for no good reason), had my hair tidied and coloured, and basically spent some time preparing myself for the long semester ahead.

As to body shapers, I have terrible luck with the heavy-duty ones. I end up much like poor Bridget Jones, with a roll of strangling spandex around my midsection. However, I've had good luck with the lightweight Assets shapers by Spanx (available at Target). They're good for smoothing rather than restructuring, which makes them Ideal for wear under trousers.

And I admit, the footless ones are making me very happy under summer weight trousers, with kicky little flats.

2:12 PM  
Blogger PeaceBang said...

Jade, you make me happy! And I agree that the attempt to restructure one's shape is fruitless and cruel. Better to smooth the bodaciousness than to attempt the impossible.

2:36 PM  
Blogger ms. kitty said...

Smoothing the bodaciousness, that's what I'm after. Thanks for the tip, Jade.

11:50 AM  
Blogger boyinthebands said...

Uh, sorry to intrude, but I'm just here for the liturgy. Or rather, with the liturgy.

I used to be the go-to person for the 1894 Universalist prayer book but then I re-vamped my www.universalistchurch.net site and a lot of files became obscured, including the 1894.

Shamed by PB's glowing review of the old liturgy, I've spent last night and this morning restoring them. The URLs aren't intuitive, but you can find the whole book at www.universalistchurch.net and look at the Universalist worship directory in the left column.

11:34 AM  
Blogger Anna said...

I have slept in many bedrooms without closets. Prefer it in fact. I find that having my closet in a separate room affords me a sort of non-cluttered feeling in the bedroom which is heavenly. Sleep in the room where you can be at peace, closet or not. If hard times are a-coming, you will need that peace.

10:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I recently injured my back on a mission trip to the Ukraine and Russia. A friend sent me the " Does this pulpit ... etc " card as a get well card. Although I am not a female he said it was the only funny religous get well card he could find. Everyone gets a big kick out of it---- especially the look on that guys face.

7:54 PM  

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