Tuesday, August 15, 2006

PeaceBang Takes One In The Eye

Oh darlings,
PeaceBang has taken a bullet for you.

She has just returned from the Big Dirty Apple and is now safely ensconced at SisterBang's boho chic Connecticut flat after having had a terrible experience at Sephora, Beauty Mecca, in Times Square. Quelle horror, readers!

It happened like this. There I was, sampling products, spraying myself with perfumes galore, and investigating all manner of things for you. I bought some yummy mint body wash by Philosophy, some cover-up by Lorac, a night cream by an organic line whose name I have forgotten, and a coppery brown liquid liner. I was happy, and so innocent. I was like Adam and Eve before the expulsion from Eden, darlings.

I got to the mascara section and became very skeptical of the various claims to lengthen, fatten and dramatically extend my lashes for under $15 (I blame Liorndsay Lohan for this nonsense, for La Lohan has proclaimed that she won't leave the HOUSE without lash extensions).
I asked one of the Sephora clerks about a particular product that promised to make me a veritable Bambi. I asked, "Does this really work? I mean, even half as amazingly as they say?" "Try it," saith he, and directed me to a clean mascara wand and a mirror.

Cheres readers, I thought I was being hygenic, dipping a new wand into their tester. WHAT A FOOL!!

Not only did the product just NOT WORK, but within twelve hours PeaceBang had the biggest sty imaginable on her eye. She had contracted a Cosmetically Transmitted Disease!!

PeaceBang is here to tell you never, ever, ever to use the testers at cosmetics counters. She is here to tell you that NO girl can feel at her most beautiful best with a throbbing pink eyelid and swollen undereye area.

Repeat with me, brothers and sisters, PeaceBang's Pledge: "Test on the hands not on the face!"

(P.S. My Ex was gracious enough not to notice my hideously swollen visage today. This is one of the reasons we still love him after 21 years, aside from the fact that he writes and directs a heck of a good show:


Blogger revabi said...

Peace Bang,
I hate styes. Every now and then I have gotten them. There is a great over the counter med for them. Or make a solution of Tear free baby Shampoo to use, along with a hot wash cloth.
Hope it gets better.

11:55 PM  
Blogger Kristen said...

Peace Bang, that is awful! Thanks for taking a bullet for us!

11:12 AM  
Blogger Sravana said...

Ouch ouch ouch!
So sorry to hear of your stye!

2:35 PM  
Blogger LaReinaCobre said...

=( That stinks. I hate getting facial maladies when traveling!!!! Why, why not at home, where people know what I REALLY look like?

Once in Italy I was eating a big family style dinner with other young folk from my hostel, and suddenly - in the middle of a delicious steak and potatoes stew - I felt the center of my top lip burning. Sure enough, I got a fever blister there within MINUTES. The other guests at the table could see it growing right there. *sigh*

4:17 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

I'll second the baby shampoo and hot washcloth recommendation.

I'll also give you a mascara recommendation, in case you haven't tried this one. Lancome Definicils. The waterproof is not as waterproof as I would like, but it lengthens beautifully and it is the first mascara I've ever been able to wear on a daily basis, at least without wanting to rub my eyes out six times a day.

5:04 PM  
Blogger Caroline Divine said...

Ow! You poor thing. Horrors, indeed.

I stopped using mascara, even the new kind, years ago, partly because even the non-counter kind goes "bad" fast (though not with stye consequences, only itch) but I have dark longish lashes so I guess I can bail on it and just focus on fixing my uneven skin tone... Thank you SO much though for taking risks for us collectively. I feel like we should send you eye compresses or something... Take good care and put your feet up with that hot washcloth recipe the good women recommended.

Love and kisses,


6:52 PM  
Anonymous Alison said...

Oh, bummer. My mother's cardinal rule was for us girls *never ever* to share eye makeup with anyone. (She also taught me the importance of a good skin care regimen, buying me Clinique moisturizing lotion when I was 12.)

10:10 PM  

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