Wednesday, September 13, 2006

A Few Tips Following a Cursory Glance at "Lucky"

I sacrifice for you, my dear readers! I DO. Because when I should have been reading a tome about the founding on the 17th century Puritan ministry, what was I doing but tearing through Lucky magazine looking for fashion tips for you? And eating vegetable pad thai?
As I say, no sacrifice too deep.

Lucky is getting more and more twee and insufferable in its fashion recommendations ("Look like a tart at your office! Wear tight skirts and henley t's that egregiously feature the bazoom! And 4" Mary Janes that will have all the hetero men at your meetings obsessing about your legs instead of focusing on your ideas! Set the women's movement back 100 years!"), but it's still a lot of fun and I guiltily enjoy it. Their notion of fashion is absolutely geared to very slim 20-somethings with an unlimited budget and unlimited closet space, but PeaceBang always finds a little something to take away.

This month it was these two things:

1. Don't wear pencil skirts with flats. Lucky's fashion editor and I agree. They make most women look dumpy and wrong, and they kill the line of the ankle. If you wear pencil skirts, wear a heel, preferably over an inch.

2. Prints are very hard to do well. The most chic women (men, I don't really think this applies as much to you) don't wear a lot of prints. If you wear prints, opt for a handsomely designed blouse rather than a patterned skirt, or better yet, limit the prints to accent pieces. PeaceBang has seen way too many clergywomen in overly-cute or haus frauish patterned skirts, and she recommends that you challenge yourself to stay with solids if your closet is bursting with patterns. If you must wear patterns (because they're gorgeous and they look wonderful on you, not because "it fit"), go easy on the accessories. One big bangle or a pair of simple, small hoops should do.
P.S. It's long past Labor Day so put the floral prints away. (It's a rhyme! You can memorize it!)

3. This is just for free from me and not Lucky magazine: if you are going to dress down for the office, dress chic casual, not frumpy casual. What I mean by that is that a denim jacket and spotless, fitted t-shirt with a pair of decent cotton pants is a lot better than either a nightmarishly sloppy pair of wrinkled shorts and a polo t or something huge, frumpy and muu-muu-esque. In other words, even when dressing down because you're in a rush or you don't have any particularly important meetings that day, keep your garments structured and coordinated. You can do it, and you can do it cheaply. And it's all the more reason to keep up with good haircuts, general grooming and nails. We live in a very casual world, but you must still look groomed and not messy.

I won't be watching "Project Runway" with SisterBang tonight (via the phone) because my television she is broken. I am trying not to be overly bereft, but I will be if Laura gets auf'd and Kaine doesn't.



Anonymous Quaint Irene said...

You can rest easy re: Laura, the Fabulous Glamour Mom. Keep the faith, PeaceBang and Glamour Mom. Rage against the frump!

And can you please, please add "theme" cardigans to the list of banned apparel for adult women? From back-to-school to Halloween to Thanksgiving to Christmas, fall is a particularly dangerous time for these.

1:15 AM  
Blogger Church Hopper said...

I think you can study the God stuff and the beauty tips simultaneously. Eddie Izzard did a comedy routine where his pastor had gotten his sermon ideas out of a beauty magazine. "Lipstick colors this season are in the frosted pink area...with nails to match. And this reminds me rather of our Lord Jesus. Because when he rode the donkey into town, he surely got himself 'tarted up'."

Thanks for the sacrifice on our behalf.

3:21 PM  

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