Friday, May 04, 2007

The Power Of the White Lab Coat

I've been feeling so drab lately, and when I looked in the mirror on Tuesday night after a long day, I noticed that my face looked actually dirty.

Suspicious, I paid special attention to my make-up the next morning. I had just purchased Bare Minerals and as I applied it, I realized that it was two to three shades too dark. Also startlingly yellow against my pink skin.

The gal at Sephora whence I purchased it a few weeks ago didn't think it necessary to "color test" me-- too expert at assigning the right shade of Bare Minerals foundation to various women's skin was she. She took one look at me and pronounced me Medium Beige. It was a thrilling moment. My brain fell right out the hem of my pants.

"Gee, I can't believe it! I'm so fair!" I said. Dear readers --consider PeaceBang Exhibit A in the case against the cosmetics industry-- which can so easily dupe us into thinking that we don't know nuthin' about our own body. Can you believe that I sort of thought that I had GRADUATED from the super fair shades into a more adult, substantial skin tone? Like, well, I'm over 40 now, and I guess I'm no longer ivory, but MEDIUM BEIGE. That girl should know. She has a white lab coat on.

Oh, vanity, vanity, all is vanity saith the preacher.
Also, stupidity.

So this dumb bunny went back to Sephora yesterday and got color tested, and it turns out that the true match was with the shade "Light," and today I feel bright and polished and not muzzy-faced and dirty, and you know, PeaceBang has learned her lesson. The next time some cosmetics wench tries to convince her that a hideously unflattering color is HER, she will respond, "Thank you for thinking so, dearie, but I'm the one who's been living with this face for over 40 years, and I can tell you that that I will look like a mud turtle in that particular shade."

P.S. I bought a deliciously pink-coral lipgloss by Smashbox in the color "Blur." And I know I'm disgustingly shallow for the happiness it is bringing me this morning.
Will you begrudge that to PeaceBang, who has a 20-page paper due next week, and an annual report? Of course you won't. And that's why I love you.


Blogger Boy in the Bands said...

Oh dang! I thought you were going to give us tips on wearing lab coats.

Perfect for singing "Sing to the Lord a new song" with its glorious/funky "loud boiling test tubes" line.

11:21 AM  
Anonymous MissConduct said...

Go back to your Psychology 101 text. People have been known to deliver shocks up to 400 volts to strangers because a person in a white lab coat told them to. Don't beat yourself up because you bought the wrong foundation.

12:55 PM  
Blogger Erin Elizabeth said...

I had the same thing happen to me with Bare Minerals. The Lab Coat Lady tried one color on me, but I had a feeling it was a little off, so I bravely asked her to try another shade. I too, and more pale than I look.

1:22 PM  
Blogger Robin Edgar said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:11 PM  
Anonymous jinnis said...

That is good to know about the bare minerals color. I had one try from the local bare minerals outlet and felt it might be too dark - even though the shade was fairly light. I will go back again for another try.

Is it me or do the bare minerals ads with the before and after shots seem to skew a little darker with the makeup than without? Or is that my inexperienced eye judging the results of getting that kind of coverage?

7:55 PM  

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