Friday, May 26, 2006

Summer Legs and Summer L'eggs

This could have been good news, but it's not:

http://www.onehanesplace.com/webapp/commerce/command/ProductDisplay?prrfnbr=1600263175

I was trying to find a summer sheer pantyhose for you but all I could find was a product by L'eggs that seems to be mostly defunct.

Summer L'eggs looks great, but not if you can only buy it in white, off-white and a truly grotesque color called "clay."

I can't think of one skin tone that would benefit from a sheer wash of white, off-white or clay (which they might as well have gone and named "ashy" or "zombie").

There's only one color hose to wear this season, my lambs, and it is NUDE.
You can wear a very sheer pearly off-white IF you're the Mother of the Bride, but trust me, it's all about a neutral tone that matches your skin.

NUDE, NUDE, NUDE. SHEER, SHEER, SHEER.

Save the off-black for the autumn. In case you haven't noticed, legs are very bare this season (as they have been for the past several years since year-round tanning became so fashionable). They are not pasty white, they are not scaly and dry, they are not clad in cute, textured hose (unless you're under 30, have great gams and are wearing a wonderful skirt and heels), and they are not hairy. I'm sorry, but if they're visible, they are NOT HAIRY.

You can bar me from the Feminist Club all you want, but I don't care. My smooth legs and I will be dancing the light fantastic somewhere way more fun.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here I sit, proofreading my sermon and I realize that I am guilty of sporting a great expanse of zombie colored leg!! Well, not a great expanse because my dress is long (but not in a little house on the prairie sort of way, I promise.) But nude and sheer feel so, well, nude and sheer. I remember reading that Coco Chanel or someone elegant never wore nude stockings, only off white, navy and black. But it was probably someone like the Queen of England. No offense meant to Her Majesty of course. Could you bless us with some ideas for great summer shoes, (closed toed please, my feet should never be revealed to the world) for the slew of weddings I have coming up. I do wear a preaching robe for weddings (long and black but slim and fitted - from WomenVestments and much more flattering than those huge flapping academic robes. My old academic robe however did see me through nine months of pregnant Sundays so I am not complaining but I digress..)
Gratefully,
Anon

9:39 AM  
Blogger Princess Pinky said...

I have found the perfect summer hose. They are even available toeless. I get them at Macys, but you can find them online at haneshosiery.com

They are light weight, and they don't get baggy around the ankles like the 100% nylon sheer hose. They come in several colors ranging from bisque to cocoa and none of the have that awful great-grandma orange/tan hue.

Just type 0a085 (zero A zero 85 is the style number) into the search box.

10:02 PM  
Blogger PeaceBang said...

Anon, Coco Chanel lived in an era before Mystic Tans and Stairmasters would create a craze for bare, tanned legs. Nowadays anyone wearing white nylons would be regarded as tres gauche. Nude and sheer is where it's at.
Black should also be sheer. Navy? Quelle horror!!

For summer shoes, I would find a nice pair of pumps with a 1" heel. You're not on your feet for that long, so they should be comfortable enough. Another look might be a microfibre loafer with a 1.5" heel. I will try to find a photo of the ones I bought today.

4:48 PM  

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