Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Someone CLIPPED THEIR NAILS At Worship!!!

We've just been chatting a bit here

And I left a lengthy comment about signature scents, clipping nails in public, and Day-Glo White Old Lady Legs.

Whoever it was who CLIPPED YOUR NAILS IN PUBLIC, just know that when PeaceBang read of your vile behavior -- inexcusably rude to both the spirit of worship and to the standards of basic human dignity -- she had to close her eyes and breathe through her nose so as to keep from being overcome by dreadfully unkind thoughts.

Shame on you.


Blogger Rev. Sean said...

I have one congregant who drives me a bit batty by bringing a thermos of coffee to the service and pouring herself cups of coffee throughout the service. Sigh.

I have a fantasy/fear that she will appear one day with her entire espresso machine and I'll have to preach while she steams her coffee and everyone around her.

1:06 AM  
Blogger LaReinaCobre said...

Rev Sean, are you serious? Beverages aren't even allowed in the sanctuary at my church! I think you could lay down the law. It's best for her. She either needs to start waking up earlier, or work on her caffeine addiction. Geez Louise!

1:14 AM  
Blogger PeaceBang said...

Oh my God, Sean.
Now *I* have a fantasy that one of your ushers will come up to her with a steaming cup of Starbucks java and say, loudly enough to be heard, "Ma'am? Here's the double mocha skim latte you ordered. Did you want nutmeg on that?" while you wait patiently from the pulpit.

I double dog dare you. It would be funny and make a point. And if she's extroverted enough to pour COFFEE throughout the church service, she won't be so mortified she'll never come back to church.

And no one needs to know it was your idea.

This is the kind of thing lay people have to address amongst themselves. CRIPES.

12:20 PM  
Blogger Errantfrogs said...

At all three of the congregations of which I've been a member and/or served (UT, 1st St. L, and UUSG), several members, many of them key leadership and pillars of the church, have insisted on bringing coffee into worship. It used to drive me INSANE, especially as it kept reminding me of the cup of coffee calling out my name and waiting for me after the service. I've actually gotten to the point where it doesn't bother me unless I think about it since I love and respect the people despite their little foible.

But the nail clipping, that actually kept us from joining a church (I say in retrospect). When we lived in Oklahoma for a year, there was one woman who EVERY week clipped her nails in church during the sermon. On several occasions I asked her to please stop. To no avail. We held out for six months, then we simply stopped attending.

3:32 PM  
Blogger Jamie Goodwin said...

If I have a cough I will steal a bottle of water into the sanctuary so i don't go into a coughing fit in the middle of Silence or the Sermon.

Some people bring coffee and that doesn't bother me so much. A couple women will sometimes knit.. there is an odd thing about knitting it seems an addiction, persons who knit will literally knit anywhere. I don't get it. But I only find it disrespectiful if I can hear the needles clicking together which has only happened once, and when I told her (she is a friend) she was embarssed not realizing how loud it was.

6:37 PM  
Blogger boyinthebands said...

Perhaps the coffee drinkers are cold. Or perhaps the church atmosphere is so cozy that it seems like "All Things Considered -- Live!" I'll chalk that up to local custom and offer no prescriptive opinion.

I'm also very tolerant of knitters in places where others are speaking, unless they are French Revolutionaries making death warrants.

As for knitting in worship, I have no evidence but the rhythm reminds me of the rosary -- itself a physical action that found a religious use -- so filling a vacuum. And since there is precious little that a UU can do non-verbally in worship . . . . Perhaps noisy knitters can learn crochet?

11:27 PM  
Blogger dame olympia's page said...

I had a knitter on my internship committee, and having had several other knitters in my life, I find that it actually helps people "hear" or "understand" the sermon/class/learning experience. These people often are what we call kinisthetic learners, and they learn best while doing something. Knitting provides the activity and they enjoy the sermon more while they do it. I have had conversations with this knitter, and she can tell me details from worship when she brings her knitting that she wouldn't have been able to if she wasn't knitting.

Dame O

1:05 AM  
Blogger Rev. Sean said...

Ah, banning coffee is probably not an option if I want to continue my ministry. This is a young church that takes pride in being "come as you are." (Remember, we're in Salt Lake City, where many people are still reacting to the strict rules of the LDS church.) Sure way to spot a visitor (or minister): he's the one wearing a tie. The coffee thing started way before me and to her credit, she does try to be discreet. My plan--though not so fun as yours, PB--is to get new carpet and ban beverages at that point. Change is sloooooow.

12:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Years ago when I was in seminary I remember a fellow student coming back from a supply preaching gig in a break away Fellowship in Milwaukee and complaining to us about the noise made by congregation members popping open beer cans during the sermon! It seems there was a vending machine for beer in this sixties throwback group....

2:52 PM  

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