Monday, November 13, 2006

Dolce & Gabbana & Over-Sharing

Men, D&G makes a kind of yummy eau de toilette for men, but it's a little bit sweet and perfumey for most of you, I'm guessing.

For my money, you can't get sexier than Gucci Pour Homme. I BEGGED the last man I dated to wear it, but he refused. This caused a really serious fight because I figured if *I* was willing to wear precariously high heels for him, he could jolly well smell delicious for me. My old high school boyfriend Rob wears Gucci Pour Homme and it makes me have to try very hard not to crawl all over him -- something he finds extremely entertaining because he's now very gay -- and he got me a sample.
All I wanted to do was spritz some on my b.f., was that SO WRONG?!!? I ASK YOU?

Well, that was years ago and he was a first-class [unmentionable Yiddish term] in the first place, but I DIGRESS.

Boys, do at least consider fragrance in your life. And if you haven't updated for twenty years, now's the time. You should definitely not be wearing Polo any more, or Grey Flannel* and you shouldn't be smelling like Old Spice if you're under 65, and that goes for Aramis, too.

Don't wear things that smell like fruit. That's just silly. If you want to smell like fruit just rub a ripe banana behind your ear.

PeaceBang happens to think that men's cologne, when worn subtly enough that a person can only definitely smell it if they're very close to you, is terrific. It's just that little bit of grooming detail that separates the thrown-together dudes from the more carefully put-together dudes. It's a very personal thing, I know, but I have to put my vote in for smelling yumby whether you're a guy or a gal or beyond gender.

* There's nothing inherently wrong with Grey Flannel except that it reminds me of an icky man I dated in Chicago who I STILL think stole my CD of the Original Cast Recoding of "Pippin." He also wore tight acrylic sweaters with no shirt underneath and sort of pointy gray leather dance-type shoes, so the Grey Flannel was just one fashion crime among many.

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Anonymous jinnis said...

Lovely descriptions of the scents.

Given the efforts to reduce allergens, especially scents, in congregations, how does the religious professional manage that path when it comes to cologne?

8:38 AM  
Blogger Magdalene6127 said...

Oh, PB, I love Polo-- on me, especially! Don't deny me this.

On another note, I hope the folks whose products you tout are giving you a cut. I ordered the sample pack of L'Artisan perfumes, and am about to shell out a Franklin for some Mure et Musc... Jesus DOES want me to smell good, I know it!


8:58 AM  
Blogger boyinthebands said...

Thought of you at church yesterday. We had a visitor, a mature man in town (I guess) for AAR/SBL. He is a theology professor from the Evangelical wing of the Dutch Reformed Church. But he was kitted out in a dark honey-brown windowpane wool suit, square-toed shoes (immaculately polished) and a his glasses-frames were D&G. No cologne, btw.

He looked cosmopolitan but not ostentatious. You would have been proud.

2:34 PM  
Blogger PeaceBang said...

Mags, as I've said before, I get not one penny for pimping products. That's why I occasionally beg for contributions!
(And thanks to Jinnis for making one!)

As far as wearing perfume goes, I just do it (but never on hospital visits). Since I moved to New England, I haven't met one UU who claimed chemical sensitivities. Which leads me to wonder, is the whole "No Perfume" section in some UU congregations just another example of behaving like UU: SVU (Special Victims Unit)?
Seems to me that when one person claims it, at least ten others magically seem to "catch" it.

I smell a rat, and that rat isn't wearing Dolce & Gabbana, either.

7:36 PM  
Blogger PeaceBang said...

P.S. Mags, if you want to smell like a gay bar circa 1984, by all means keep wearing Polo.

7:43 PM  
Anonymous jinnis said...

I know what you mean when sensitivities seem to be "contagious." And not every congregation has the concern. I have extra attention for such things given that the congregation I served last year had a significant percentage of a range of allergies. All the ministers worked to reduce potential hazards.

Another choice for scents is to go with essential oils - just a dab of sandalwood or some such to enjoy a single note.

8:43 PM  
Blogger boyinthebands said...

I think the "chemical sensitivity" issue is, in part, at the intersection of asthma (which is a growing national concern; I have it, diagnosed this year) and people who don't have the good sense not to bathe in cheap scent. I've been playing "keep away" with a certain member of my church (she doesn't know this), but alas she normally comes late and has the singular talent of sitting near me.

Well-made scent, properly worn, has never bothered me. Same goes with cheap v. good incense, properly used. Ditto household cleaners and air-fresheners. Febreze, ok; Glade, not.

P.s. Wait, I wore Polo in the 80s. I suppose that proves your point.

3:39 PM  
Anonymous Sacred Art of Living said...

I would not claim to be MCS as I have friends who are and it is quite awful, but when I am in a room with someone wearing artifical scent (especially in a crowded room like at church) those smells give me the worst headaches. I have discovered cologne and perfume to be a surefire migraine trigger. So while the scents may be good for the dance floor, I side with the UU: SVU and ask that you not wear scents to church. Now scents based on essential oils don't seem to bother me much, but I know others have issues with this.

By the way PeaceBang, when are you going to sign a book contract? I bet this stuff would easily make a bestseller!

7:09 PM  
Blogger PeaceBang said...

YES! I want "Pippin!" I have Magic To Do, Just For You! Who was that that offered? Where did you go?

8:07 PM  
Blogger Berrysmom said...

I don't suffer from chemical sensitivities, but BerrysDad definitely does. Because he hates to complain (though he complains LOUDLY to me in private), I am usually the one to request that the scented candle be snuffed (do you know how difficult it is to find unscented pillar candles?) or the plug-in be unplugged.

Our youth room got a weird smell in it (I don't even want to know), and the youth leaders thought that a GROSSLY scented plug-in would be just the thing. BD had to stay away from the entire downstairs of the church for a week.

Please folks, wear your scent at home, but let's let the church be odor-free.

10:56 PM  
Blogger bill said...

what do you think about patchouli?

I confess to using it for over 25 years. I get it from Caswell-Massey.

I always thought it was kind of cool, but recently I overheard some young ladies making fun of me at a social.

11:21 AM  
Blogger PeaceBang said...

Bill, bless your heart for asking a difficult question! It's SO HARD to evaluate something we've been doing for a long time, but scent is so important and evocative, it's worth thinking about it seriously. Let me say this quite honestly: patchouli is such a dated fragrance and so evocative of the groovy 70's that it's just not a good choice anymore.
Caswell-Massey makes nice products, though, so you obviously have good taste. Is it possible you were wearing a bit too much?

You might go to a trusted pharmacy -- wait, let me post on this!xoxo PB

11:14 AM  

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