The Unstructured Jacket, Triumphant
You know why this TOTALLY works for this fabulous, vibrant babe of a lay minister?
Because she has the vavoom, the charisma, the huge hair and the huge smile to balance all that fabric. As an African-American woman, she has an ethnic connection to this look. She and that jacket BELONG together. Wouldn't you just want to come up to her and plop yourself down next to her and confide every deep, dark secret of your heart to her? So would I. The thing is, she works for Sacred Places, whose mission is to "promote the stewardship and active community use of America's older religious properties," so she's not that kind of minister. Still, though, that jacket inspires confidence!
(www.sacredplaces.org)
Too many female clerics don the flowy, unstructured jacket and they just don't have the Endora Majesty (a term I just coined, and feel free to use it!) to move elegantly and commandingly through the world in such garments. On them, it just looks like they're too heavy to wear an actual structured outfit, and that they lack the confidence or know-how to dress professionally.
Could this be you? Have you been stuck in the Mother Earth Flowy Look for too long, relying on huge cotton garments to say to the world, "I am a Deeply Spiritual Woman?" If so, PeaceBang has hard news for you, so let's hold hands and hear it: Big, loose clothes do not communicate "spiritual" so much as they communicate "big, loose clothes." Try on a jacket and a pair of trousers, and see how it changes your outlook and challenges your assumptions about how to project the appropriate image.
Let me know how it goes!!
Because she has the vavoom, the charisma, the huge hair and the huge smile to balance all that fabric. As an African-American woman, she has an ethnic connection to this look. She and that jacket BELONG together. Wouldn't you just want to come up to her and plop yourself down next to her and confide every deep, dark secret of your heart to her? So would I. The thing is, she works for Sacred Places, whose mission is to "promote the stewardship and active community use of America's older religious properties," so she's not that kind of minister. Still, though, that jacket inspires confidence!
(www.sacredplaces.org)
Too many female clerics don the flowy, unstructured jacket and they just don't have the Endora Majesty (a term I just coined, and feel free to use it!) to move elegantly and commandingly through the world in such garments. On them, it just looks like they're too heavy to wear an actual structured outfit, and that they lack the confidence or know-how to dress professionally.
Could this be you? Have you been stuck in the Mother Earth Flowy Look for too long, relying on huge cotton garments to say to the world, "I am a Deeply Spiritual Woman?" If so, PeaceBang has hard news for you, so let's hold hands and hear it: Big, loose clothes do not communicate "spiritual" so much as they communicate "big, loose clothes." Try on a jacket and a pair of trousers, and see how it changes your outlook and challenges your assumptions about how to project the appropriate image.
Let me know how it goes!!
Labels: PeaceBang Halo
posted by PeaceBang at 8:10 AM
6 Comments:
Enjoying your blog immensely, as always!
Peacebang, what are your thoughts on engagement rings? I'm a minister-to-be. My fella was talking about his pride in his recently engaged sister over her choice to not have a ring. I won't wear diamonds (because of their bloody and terrible role in African conflicts) or gold (because of the damage it does to the environment to mine it-- the NYT had a really good article on this awhile back if anyone is interested). But down deep I find myself wishing for an engagement ring if our relationship progresses to that point. (I would want to get him one, too). Is this silly? I welcome your insights!
Thank you for your great blog!
Anon, dear, you're an earnest and good person. It's hard to square so much tradition with modern concerns, and yours are legit. This is a very personal choice, and PeaceBang's choice would be to wear a simple gold wedding band and skip the engagement bling. What is an engagement ring but a big, shiny announcement that I Caught A Man! and I Need Him To Provide My Financial Security!
When PB almost got engaged at the age of 27, she found that symbol repellent and vowed not to participate in it.
But because she is a materialistic little creature at heart, PeaceBang is HAPPY to accept jewelry whenever it is proferred as a gift. She has a few tokens of esteem from past admirers and wears them with great appreciation (of the gems, not the past admirers).
So, wny not compromise? Consider denying the engagement ring, which would require you to daily wear a symbol of sexism and oppression of both humans and Earth, and ask your honey to get you a big sapphire or something for your first anniversary. Rock the bling responsibily. Thanks for asking, and mazel tov!
Anon, another option is to look at used/vintage jewelry shops, estate sales, etc. There are some beautiful pieces that are far less expensive than they would be to recreate, and you are doing everyone a favor NOT to recreate them by commission.
--hen
How about finding coordinating rings for the both of you and are worn on the right hand - maybe in a metal that isn't so bad for the environment? And then for the wedding, a second band? Or switch hands with the first rings?
My spouse and I found websites where we could pick out the exact style and determine the dimensions that matched our hands - admittedly in white gold. I wonder if there is a local artist that might be up for the challenge.
Or ditch the engagement ring idea and find a lovely necklace instead. (and I don't mean one broadcasting his name.)
As PB said, it is personal - and may be a chance to have fun.
Endora Majesty?
As in, Endora from Bewitched?
I've found that my feelings about engagement rings have changed over time; more precisely, I disapproved of having one when it was a theoretical thing, but when I was actually in love and loved back and ready to go public I rejoiced to wear it (and still do nearly a decade later, praise be).
Part of what made it OK for me was that it was a totally joint deal--we picked out the ring together, and it was what I really wanted to wear. Having to go with someone else's notion would have not been cool at all.
I say find a suitable bauble, jointly agreed on, and wear it with pride and thanksgiving.
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