Sunday, March 18, 2007

Long-Haired Minister Guys

Hola, amigos! Did you have wonderful church? I hope so. I did. Happy, happy, joy, joy.

Got this letter just a few days ago,

"Hello Peace Bang
Question for a future post - Advice for Male Ministers with Long Hair, particularly for General Assembly.
-A (prayerfully) new UU Minister"

Don't you love how he writes? Kind of cryptic with all those capitals, very German poet, very Rilke, "Mein Leben hat das gleiche Kleid und Haar."

So, Joseph, are you the long-haired romantic type? In which case your gorgeous flowing locks are probably well-groomed and lovely, and don't do a thing with them. When you ask about GA, are you perhaps walking in the Service of the Living Tradition? If so, just a good brushing should do.

If your hair is long and you feel a slight intuition that it might be a wee bit scraggly or unkempt, just go to a good stylist and say, "I would like to have long hair and be handsome and fabulous in a way that communicates the vitality and relevancy of the contemporary church. Could you arrange that, please?"

And they will.

It's a good idea to find a long-haired male mentor, someone whose look you admire, and take a photo of that person (anonymous model, Benjamin Franklin, etc.) with you to the salon.

Joseph, do not fear the Salon Visit. You need only go once or twice to get your look together, and after that you'll do fine at the regular old inexpensive chop shop.

Oh, and Joseph... please don't choose Keith Urban as your long-haired man mentor. His look doesn't so much communicate beauty, vitality and charisma as Serious Commitment To Bleach and Foils.

One last thing, Joseph, if you wear a ponytail, can you make sure to still brush your hair? Even if it's pulled back, it should still look neat and clean.

P.S. If you occasionally spray your hair into place I will never, ever tell anyone. And it's okay.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just as a note, in German one capitalizes all the nouns. (trust me, romantic poeticalness aside, this was a pain A** during high school german class)

4:44 PM  
Blogger UUEnforcer said...

Loose the locks HAIR FARMER!

8:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Joseph: PeaceBang has clearly lost her mind. What she meant to say was, "Get a haircut."

1:02 AM  
Blogger PeaceBang said...

HEY, Hey, HEY!
You children BEHAVE!

While PeaceBang is not a big fan of long hair on the gents, she was trying to RESPECT Joseph's choice.
If she could have hired Subliminal Man to intersperse "Get a haircut" into all her phrases, she would have. But Subliminal Man wasn't available.

And Enforcer, you meant "lose," not "loose," right? Because if he "looses" his hair, that means it will be all over his face.

7:50 AM  
Blogger Chalicechick said...

(((Joseph: PeaceBang has clearly lost her mind. What she meant to say was, "Get a haircut.")))

CC lets out a weird barky laugh that makes her glad she has her own office at this job.


1:48 PM  

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