Saturday, November 18, 2006

Hideous Facial Disfigurements

PeaceBang was on her way to dreamland but she got an EMERGENCY e-mail from a beautiful, talented and faithful reader about a BUMPY EYEBROW situation, and she had to write to her reader and then to post immediately!

PeaceBang is going to let you all in on a little secret: she is afflicted with a skin condition that flares up at the most inopportune moments. Christmas Eve, say, or when she's going to host a brunch for her Ex and his brand new, skinny and gorgeous wife.

This skin flare up is nothing more exotic than the same virus that gives most people cold sores around their mouth, only PeaceBang gets the blisters on either side of her NOSE, which is where the virus took up residence many, many years ago and re-afflicts her once every few months. The dermatologist thinks that repeated sunburning of that part of the skin over many years may have made it more susceptible to blistering, or maybe PeaceBang just plain made that up.

Anyway, out of her personal experience with Hideous Facial Disfigurement,* PeaceBang offers you,

How To Remain Poised and Polished Even When Hideously Facially Disfigured:

1. At the first signs of bumps and redness, ice. ICE, ICE, BABY. Ice is a winner. It's free, it's effective, it's nature's great remedy. Ice is your go-to first step for any inflammation.

2. Do not obsess about your hideous facial disfigurment. The truth is, no one really notices it very much.

3. Keep your hands very clean and keep them away from your face. Wash and make up your mug in the morning and LEAVE IT ALONE. The Hideous Facial Disfigurement that no one can really see will be totally invisible in a few days. Stop fussing with it and let it heal. Above all, no squeezing, poking, rubbing, itching or using masques on irritated skin. You'll just make matters worse.

4. Keep out of the sun, and if you have something even remotely contagious, use your own towels and don't kiss anyone or share food or utensils. Cold sores are contagious, dumplings. Watch pillow cases, too.

5. Aloe vera gel is a good topical ointment for lots of bumpy and irritated skin conditions. Abreve is also pretty good for cold sores, but they do just need to run their course and Hideously Disfigure you for a few days.

6. If you are male, there's no reason you can't experiment with a cover-stick the same color as your skin and keep it on hand for Hideous Disfigurements. Do NOT apply cover-sticks directly to skin: rub some on the back of your clean hand and use your finger to dab, dab, dab it directly on top of the Hideous Disfigurement. A small make-up brush is an excellent tool for this. Just be sure to wash it in gentle shampoo when you're done, rinse well and let air dry.

7. If you're a woman, do your face make-up as you usually do, then dab, dab, dab a lighter concealer (PeaceBang uses an excellent green correcting product by Eucerin when she's having an allergic reaction to something and is turning blotchy pink) over the Affliction.

8. Keep your make-up and brushes and hands clean. Whenever possible, buy products that do not require you to dip your little paws into them but are dispensed in some more hygenic manner, such as through a pump or squeeze bottle.

9. If your skin is prone to blotchy weirdness, invest in a pair of huge, glamorous sunglasses. Be very careful trying new products -- sometimes a reaction can occur over a few hours, or even the next day. Be gentle and slow if you have sensitive skin.

10. Remember that Jesus loved the lepers and he loves you, too even with your Hideous Facial Disfigurement.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:39 PM  
Blogger PeaceBang said...

The last comment, dear readers, was deleted because the poster revealed personal health information. Even though they posted as Anonymous, I wanted to be careful on their behalf.

What they recommended was the drug acyclovir for the herpes virus. This seems a very indelicate thing to talk about on Beauty Tips, but as the cold sore derives from Herpes Zoster, such a treatment may be beneficial. The poster says it works for him/her.

People in the public eye who get cold sores may want to investigate taking acyclovir. This message has *not* been paid for by any major pharmeceutical company, but in the spirit of sharin' and carin'!

Love, PB

1:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey PB, we get it. Don't worry about the humor-impaired. Anyone who would stay up past her bedtime to respond to someone else's beauty emergency is a good soul.

2:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In my experience, Abreva can actually stop the little tingle from turning into a full-blown cold sore eruption if used promptly, diligently, and frequently.

3:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't get the first comment. Did someone really think you actually seriously believe a cold sore or pimple is a hideous facial disfigurment? Do some people not get the concept of satire?

A direct application of pure, organic lavendar oil can be helpful too. Also sometimes good for regular break-outs is witch hazel or diluted tea tree oil.

Does that green correcting make-up really work? Doesn't it just make you look green?

4:04 PM  
Anonymous lela said...

I'm a sorta new reader, but had to respond. I had a Major Function not long ago, which of course meant that the enormous zit on the side of my nose came out with such force that my 15 year old son said, "Dude, you gotta pop that sucker, mom." I didn't, and I held my head up with as much dignity as I could muster. I also wore something slinky that I hoped took attention away. I was so glad when it finally disappeared!

4:18 PM  
Anonymous jinnis said...

While the mention of herpes and like viruses may be somewhat indelicate compared to the usual fare here, I think addressing such concerns on occasion is appropriate when discussing what we show to the public.

One benefit is better understanding for those of us who don't have to manage those particular health questions.


6:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Of course. And when in your congregation or community you come across someone like that soldier, you tell him or her that you understand perfectly because you too are hideously facially disfigured from time to time. And if, lacking a sense of humour, they feel any offense at your claims to shared victimhood, just send them on their way. They obviously have no place amongst Unitarians.

7:09 PM  
Anonymous passacinny said...

Oh for pete's sake.
Wishing not to appear in public with a running sore on your face is not "immaturity, ugly vanity or dramatic self centeredness". It's just human. Mercy!
Now, as for cold sores, you've got to try "RELEEV". It's available over the counter and really works. Fast.

8:40 PM  
Blogger Caroline Divine said...

Dear PeaceBang,

Greetings from the madhouse AAR/SBL meeting. I thought I would cheer you up by telling you I had a Gary Dorrien sighting and am on the watch for sartorial events here. I have not yet seen Lil' Flava and her fabulous shoes. But I want you to know I am rooming with my old friend Brigid of Walden and SHE is wearing fabulous shoes, and even I who generally hate pointy shoes love them. Then again, I don't have to wear them. I am wearing short boots -- with nice slacks.

More details tomorrow. It's late and we have to go and be hot academic types again tomorrow.

Kiss, kiss,

Caroline Divine, taking notes for you in the land of academe

12:22 AM  
Anonymous kjr said...

I began having the red blotches regularly and found out that I have a common skin condition (common in middle age for north European types) called rosacea. The temporary fix you suggest (green stuff with make up on top) helps some, but my dermatologist had some medicines that fixes it more permanently when it flares up. Once I was diagnosed, I realized my father's red nose which made him look a bit like WC Fields (and Dad doesn't tipple) was also rosacea and he also found the cure.

For light skinned people with regular redness on the face, check with a dermatologist.

2:04 AM  
Blogger PeaceBang said...

Anonymous, what an insane projection!
You're just twisted and ragey. Go away.

8:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have gotten cold sores since fourth grade, and I've taken acylovir for a long time. Recently I got a perscription for valtrex--I don't have to take it every day, just a bigger dose when I feel a cold sore coming on--and it works very well. I too get them right before prime engagements, and it is great to be able to really do something to prevent them. It might be worth talking to your HCP before Advent!

6:13 PM  
Blogger fausto said...

I'll second the recommendation above for Abreva. Surprisingly expensive for a tiny little tube of the stuff, but those cold sores are gone in a jiffy!

8:43 PM  
Anonymous Sisterof PB said...

Oy PB...i jest KNEW some self-righteous irony-impaired Being was going to get all up in yer sometimes blotchy face about this post. sigh.

6:14 PM  
Blogger PeaceBang said...

Ladies and gentlemen, my SEESTOR. Thanks for commenting, sis. We will discuss on the phone. But then again, probably not. Love you.

8:39 PM  
Blogger Gary Long said...

PB - I, too, have this problem w/ cold sores and found Valtrex to be my savior. One dose as soon as you feel the tingle does the trick. They are pricey, though.

The second thing to note is overall health. Those nasty fever blisters show up when our energy is low and our stress is high. So, overall attention to rest and stress levels, especially around the times of imporant events, is the biggest key to preventing the blister!

Grace and Peace!

3:56 PM  
Blogger greenseagirl said...

Herpes zoster (a.k.a. varicella zoster) is the human herpes virus that causes chicken pox and shingles. It does not cause cold sores. Cold sores are caused-- usually-- by herpes simplex virus type 1, sometimes herpes simplex virus type 2. There are a whole bunch of HHVs (human herpes viruses) which does make it easy to get them mixed up. Mono is caused by yet another HHV (epstein-barr). What all these viruses have in common is latency... you get them, they live in your body in a latent form and then reactivate periodically, causing "Hideous Facial Disfigurement" and/or other discomforts.

Anonymous has obviously never worked on the National Herpes Hotline. Those of us who have know that while not deadly, and actually qite common, cold sores and fever blisters can cause excrutiating emotional pain. Would anonymous tell a person crying on the phone, feeling that s/he was never going to be able to kiss anyone again EVER, and would never be loved, because they have this contagious without-a-cure virus on their face to get over it because soldiers suffer more? How cruel. Would she tell the soldier not to talk about how to manage his relatively cosmetic issue with others who suffer similarly because there were other people who suffered EVEN MORE-- losing limbs, sight, and their best friend?? Like another person's suffering is supposed to make you happy? How callous is that?

You meet people wherever they are, and comfort them, and help them find the strength and serenity they need to deal with whatever they have to deal with, anywhere along the spectrum from so-called big to so-called small. Sensitive people can feel sympathy even for the "little" hurts of others.

8:52 AM  
Blogger PeaceBang said...

Greensea! So good to see you on here! I was just thinking about you the other day!

Thanks for your helpful information and for being so sweet. You knew that I was being a ridiculous drama queen, though, right? And that it was supposed to be funny?

(Entirely rhetorical: I knew you knew!)
Love to you and your honey and your family from moi.

8:57 AM  

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