Sunday, January 07, 2007

Napoleon Dynamite: A New Line For The UnTall Male

The other day at the inauguration worship service for Deval Patrick, I saw a petite man with a suit jacket that was far too long for him.

His pants were hemmed, and I suspect that he had had the sleeves on the jacket tailored to fit him. However, the jacket itself hung down to mid-thigh, and it had the unfortunate effect of making him look like a little boy dressed in his daddy's clothing.

Short men, I know it's a rough world out there, sartorially speaking. I see lots of "BIG N' TALL" stores, but I've never seen one for short fellas. I don't suppose men have petite sections, either.
And really, it can't be fun for an adult male to shop in the boy's department.

Are short men just presumed to have so much professional ambition that they all have enough money to afford custom-made clothing? No fairsies! I think that some fashion-savvy person should start a line called (hold on!) "NAPOLEON DYNAMITE" (is that genius or is that genius!!?) and design gorgeous clothes for diminutive dudes.

Meanwhile, my short brothers, get thee to a tailor and have at least one good suit that fits you. Your pockets should not be down around your knees.

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12 Comments:

Anonymous Jess said...

There is a store in Milwaukee called
"http://www.napoleonstailor.com/">"Napoleon's Tailor."


They have a size called "portly short" that just cracks me up. ;-)

6:53 PM  
Blogger PeaceBang said...

That is TOO HILARIOUS!!
That's me: Portly shortly.

6:54 PM  
Anonymous jess said...

Arggggh... fixed link is: Napoleon's Tailor

6:54 PM  
Blogger PeaceBang said...

5'8" and under?? Wow, I would have thought more like 5'5" and under.

6:56 PM  
Anonymous jess said...

Anything under 5'8" is less than the standard 30"+ inseam that regular stores carry - John is a 29 and has a heck of a time finding jeans. And guys with short arms run into shirt sleeve issues, with the standard smallest at 32-33, but usually only in the smaller neck sizes. So your "portly short" guy in a 16 1/2" - 17" neck and chest ends up with his sleeves flopping about.

But I will say that at least guys' sizes make some sense, being related to actual body measurements, whereas I wear a different size completely depending on the maker of the clothing - particularly in lingerie.

7:07 PM  
Blogger PeaceBang said...

Speaking of lingerie, Jess, I have noticed that plus-sized lingerie is either hideously ugly or it's hootchie mama Frederick's of Hollywood stuff that you wouldn't expect to see on any self-respecting prostitute!! What is UP with that? But I'm off topic, and you're not plus-sized. I'm just sayin'.

7:24 PM  
Blogger boyinthebands said...

Though I'm 6'4", my father's 5'8" (and his father was 5'2".) My mother has had to hem nearly every pair of pants he's ever had, at the risk of them being to flared if the original inseam is longer than 30". (Fortunately for him -- and me -- he is rather tall waisted and I don't think sleeves or jackets were ever an issue.)

9:15 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

You started it, so I'll go there with you!

I get my bras from Wacoal and Chantelle, and they're all really pretty and actually supporting. The key is to find out what size you are in a particular brand and then go online for more choices in colors and styles.(I'm borderline plus, especially on top, but fighting!) I've never been one for fancy panties, though, so I don't know what to tell you there. ;-)

9:21 PM  
Blogger Berrysmom said...

Oh you guys (gals, that is), are you sure you want to be talking about your panites on the INTERNET??!! Please don't forget that this is a public space that anyone in the world can access, and if they wantd to check out your panties in person, they probably could track you down. I don't think that's what you want.

Caution is a virtue...

9:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Back on the men's clothing: most department stores carry suits and sportscoats that are sized, for instance, 42 Short...that means that it's the same width etc. as the regular 42 but that the jacket will be a bit shorter. That way you can just get the sleeves and pants hemmed and it all looks good. Works well for my husband, who's 5'7" and gorgeous in a suit.

--the white robed preacher who doesn't mean to be anonymous all the time but is too lazy to set up an account

8:41 AM  
Anonymous jess said...

If you're the right proportions, a "short" size will usually work, but if you have long legs and a short torso, or very short arms, you still need special attention. And finding an inseam under 29" is always problematic.

7:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

another store for short men is appropriately called Short Sizes Inc. and can be found at:

http://www.shortsizesinc.com/

All the men in their catalogue look kind of dorky and midwestern-ish, and the clothing isn't particularly "hip", but at least they're catering to the untall biological or transgendered man.

1:23 AM  

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