Tuesday, April 10, 2007

The Baron De Dandruff


dandruff
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.
Good morning, my little yellow sugar chicks! How was your Easter?
PeaceBang's was lovely, thank you, and she feels eminently grateful that following the big day, she was able to take an actual, whole Day Off during which she slept, ate leftover chocolate torte, and read most of Jeffrey Eugenides' marvelous novel, Middlesex. I feel like a new woman! A new woman with the same body, mind, soul, personality, life situation, tax return, bitten down fingernails, family and friends, but still... relatively new. New in the spiritual sense.

Just a word about dandruff, named for the Baron De Dandruff, who was so beloved in the court of King Gustav of Sweden that all the lords and ladies could be found frantically working cheese graters over their scalps before important events in a mad effort to emulate the Baron's flaky look. In that time --and this was roughly between the time of the Vikings and the Renaissance, you understand -- you just weren't DRESSED if you didn't have big white flakes adorning your shoulders. Men and women took to wearing black shawls just to highlight their Dandruff. It was all the rage until it was revealed that the Baron de Dandruff had committed unnatural acts with lap dogs, at which time the tide of fashion and society turned against him with a vengeance.

Which is all to saythat dandruff is never a good look and if you suspect you have it, please investigate solutions. You may be turned out in your very finest, prepared to speak in the voice of Wisdom herself, and charming in every meaningful sense of the word. But if your shoulders and back are sprinkled with little bits of your scalp, my dears, the general public will generally greet you not with the admiration you deserve but with the ancient, evocative expression, known in many cultures, that sounds something like this: "eeeeeewwwww."

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4 Comments:

Anonymous jinnis said...

Boy, I've heard some wacky fashion origins, but this one is head and shoulders above the rest.

Aside from the very bad pun, I really am surprised.

So how does one gracefully handle a colleague's personal shoulder drifts? Especially since they are often combined with a serious lack of recent showering. And it can be a gender/generational difference, too.

8:28 PM  
Blogger PeaceBang said...

Jen? Jen? Honey?
You're kidding, right?
You know I made every single word of that up, right?

As for dandruff issues on a colleague, a whispered, "Hey, do you have a little whisk broom around? I want to get rid of that dandruff for you" should do it.

7:49 AM  
Anonymous jinnis said...

Ack. Well, then there was good reason for me to be surprised. Chalk one up to the huge to do list for the week.

Goes to show the number of odd fashion practices I've heard. Is what you created any stranger than the use of arsenic in skin whitening, for example? At least a little cheese grating won't kill you.

3:36 PM  
Blogger Shaktidas said...

Your imagination is truly twisted, PB. No wonder Jen was taken in... you wrote with such realism! (Lap dogs? Ew!)

I've noticed the gender/generational thing too. What's up with that?

1:04 PM  

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