Sunday, January 28, 2007

The Iron Is Your Friend

Whilst I was away, I got this comment from Anonymous:

"I must say, I went to my first big gathering of UU ministers the other day, and all of a sudden the need for this blog became very clear to me. I mean, I am not all about super-cute shoes or special mascara, but hey - let's iron our clothes, people. There were only other ministers around, so it made it less painful, but I couldn't help but realize that everyone probably didn't dress down for the event - these were what they typically wore. There were exceptions, for sure, but it was not good overall. Yikes. Double yikes."

Anonymous, my honest amigo/a, thank you for reminding us that the household iron is not an instrument of oppression if used in moderation.
PeaceBang is about to get very serious, for she deeply believes the following things about wrinkled clothes:

1. Failure to iron completely destroys the fit of the garment. If you absolutely refuse to iron, buy a size bigger. If you are a woman, you can be assured that a wrinkled button-down shirt will be gapping and revealing your bra. There will be no "Festival of Inappropriate Sharing" joke here: you've already heard it.

2. Wrinkled clothes are slovenly. There is no other word for it. When I see a wrinkled garment, I expect to see dirt. And why should I not?

3. Wearing wrinkled clothing takes away all the focus from your face, where it should be.

4. Wrinkled clothing communicates that you cannot take care of yourself as an adult. I only expect to see wrinkled clothing on college students, the extremely bereaved, and abandoned men of the generation and upbringing who expect womanfolk to iron their clothes for them. When I see an extremely wrinkled adult, it always tempts me to say to them, "There, there, little boy/girl... are you losted?" and hand them a lollie. They always seem so helpless and hapless.

5. There are thousands of garments made especially for the iron-averse. Those who hate to iron should stay away from cotton in their professional wardrobe, which is made to look crisp and put-together. Don't insult the integrity of cotton garments by donning them in wrinkly form.

6. We all know the difference between casual, light cotton that's perfectly appropriate to wear wrinkly, and the kind that's not. Don't kid yourself. When in doubt, iron it out.

7. Pretty much everyone hates to iron. This is not a charming eccentricity but a common complaint. As my dear old grandmama used to say, "Want another pierogie, Vick?"
That's what she would say, but I would say, "Suck it up, my doves, and get out that iron."




Blogger womynrev said...

Well said, PB, but I would like to call the attention of your readers to another natural fiber that is often mistreated.

I am speaking of LINEN.

Contrary to popular belief (delusion?), it is not "supposed to look wrinkly" and the likelihood that it "is just going to get wrinkly as soon as I sit in the car" is not carte blanche to wear linen clothing that is straight off the clothesline or out of the pile at the end of the bed.

Most people do not know this, but as a former Costume Designer/Wardrobe Supervisor, I will tell you that it is true:

The actual flax fibers out of which our linen garments are made actually *want* to be ironed. They long to be stretched and flattened into submission. And by ironing them, you are setting them free to express their full identity as fibers.

You may call it B/D-S/M, or you may call it good ministry, but either way IRON YOUR LINEN.

thanks for indulging me, PB and readers!


11:00 AM  
Blogger A. Lin said...

I recently shocked my women's Sunday School class by announcing that I enjoy ironing. Yes, you read that correctly. I knew of one other woman on the face of the earth who enjoyed ironing; but since that was my about-to-retire 9th grade English teacher 17 years ago, I may be the only one now.

When my husband was promoted to manager at his company last year, suddenly the iron became my friend again. We had drifted apart for so many years when it did not seem to matter about wrinkles (there was more attention to making sure the shirts we were wearing did not have traces of baby spit-up). It is wonderful these days for me to be ironing everything that is able to be ironed. My closet reflects that I care about my clothes. It also assures me that there will not be a pile of clothes in my room to cause disorder and chaos at dressing time.

I have also found that ironing is a wonderful time of refection for me. Whether I am contemplating writing a blog entry or a sermon, I find that thinking while ironing gets the wrinkles out of my thoughts as I get the wrinkles out of the clothes.

If PeaceBang lived nearby, I would happily do her ironing. It is the least I could do for the wonderful advice I find here. As it is, if you are ever in Raleigh, NC; let me know when you are coming and how much ironing you will bring.

To all other readers of this blog: I will do your ironing for a nominal fee if you live in my area.

4:00 PM  
Blogger BaptizedPagan said...

I'm a boy who finds ironing relaxing, but it could be that I'm just weird/inhaled a little too much spray starch while coloring at my mother's feet while she ironed.

But the secret joy of ironing is that you can watch the trashiest television available entirely without guilt while you're ironing. Horrified at Bennifer on Entertainment Tonight? Yes, but you just did that pleat. Laughing at the delusional on American Idol? Yes, but while pressing some cuffs. Swooning over McDreamy on Grey's Anatomy? Yes, but you can get shirts for the whole week done and still have time to fold towels during the preview of next week...

4:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have been fighting the battle of the iron for as long as I can remember, until recently, when I was introduced to THE STEAMER. Hallelujah, I donated my iron and ironing board the next week. The steamer is miraculous. No need to drag out a big board, no need to arrange the clothes just so, just hang that shirt up and run the steamer nozzle over it, done. It doesn't press creases, which is bad if you're into that kind of thing, or really good if, like me, you're constantly accidentally pressing wrinkles INTO those little gathers on your cuffs or sleeves. Viva!

5:07 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

Seems like a great opportunity to share something my mother taught me. When ironing something that is double fabric, iron the back first then flip over and iron on top. This gives a smoother look. By double I mean like cuffs, some yokes, collars and button plackets.

6:40 PM  
Blogger PeaceBang said...

Bless you, A. Lin! I wish I could import you to Massachusetts!

P.S. I secretly kind of like ironing, once I get started.

6:58 PM  
Blogger Caroline Divine said...

Mmmm... Ironing and television... I'm there too. I do tend to let ironing pile up, but when I do get to the ironing basket, I plunk it and the ironing board and myself in front of the television. And/or iron and listen to music. I agree that it is kind of meditative.

On the other hand, a.lin, where do you live?

8:56 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home