I've been feeling so drab lately, and when I looked in the mirror on Tuesday night after a long day, I noticed that my face looked actually
dirty.
Suspicious, I paid special attention to my make-up the next morning. I had just purchased Bare Minerals and as I applied it, I realized that it was two to three shades too dark. Also startlingly yellow against my pink skin.
The gal at Sephora whence I purchased it a few weeks ago didn't think it necessary to "color test" me-- too expert at assigning the right shade of Bare Minerals foundation to various women's skin was she. She took one look at me and pronounced me Medium Beige. It was a thrilling moment. My brain fell right out the hem of my pants.
"Gee, I can't believe it! I'm so fair!" I said. Dear readers --consider PeaceBang Exhibit A in the case against the cosmetics industry-- which can so easily dupe us into thinking that we don't know nuthin' about our own body. Can you believe that I sort of thought that I had GRADUATED from the super fair shades into a more adult, substantial skin tone? Like, w
ell, I'm over 40 now, and I guess I'm no longer ivory, but MEDIUM BEIGE. That girl should know. She has a white lab coat on.
Oh, vanity, vanity, all is vanity saith the preacher.
Also, stupidity.
So this dumb bunny went back to Sephora yesterday and got color tested, and it turns out that the true match was with the shade "Light," and today I feel bright and polished and not muzzy-faced and dirty, and you know, PeaceBang has
learned her lesson. The next time some cosmetics wench tries to convince her that a hideously unflattering color is HER, she will respond, "Thank you for thinking so, dearie, but I'm the one who's been living with this face for over 40 years, and I can tell you that that I will look like a mud turtle in that particular shade."
P.S. I bought a deliciously pink-coral lipgloss by Smashbox in the color "Blur." And I know I'm disgustingly shallow for the happiness it is bringing me this morning.
Will you begrudge that to PeaceBang, who has a 20-page paper due next week, and an annual report? Of course you won't. And that's why I love you.