Darlings, PeaceBang is suffering from a Hideous Facial Disfigurement that has her face quite swollen and her right eye very puffy. She saw the doctor yesterday and got loaded up with anti-virals, anti-biotics (which she won't take) and an immunity-enhancing supplement. This is her second HFD in two months, and that's just not a good statement about her general health and self-care. However, when she was waiting for her prescriptions at Brooks Pharmacy, she had the pleasure of meeting three very lovely women who absolutely loaded her up with samples from these new-to-American skincare lines:
Eau Thermale Avene
La Roche-Posay Laboratoire Pharmaceutique
Doesn't this all just make you want to stand up and sing "Le Marseille?" How kind of the French to flood the American market with products that may help us be more moist, dewy, exfoliated and generally fresh-faced!! As soon as PeaceBang's Hideous Facial Disfigurement calms down, she can't wait to start testing away, especially since she has heard from two cosmetic professionals in the past week that she has LARGE PORES. Mon Dieu!!
Large PORES! This in addition to having bad roots, a desperate need for a manicure, and not having made it to the gym in two weeks. PeaceBang might have to take to her bed today with a box of Girl Scout cookies, her computer, and her spring preaching schedule. It's all too much, and the Easter service is already becoming overly-complicated and PeaceBang is all stressed out about it.
But now, for your questions!
Sez one lovely lass,"I just discovered your blog, and I have a question about eyebrows.
I know I should pluck my eyebrows, but they're a) light; b)sparse; c) the hairs are long.
So if I eliminated the hairs that shouldn't be there, there'd only be a few left and they wouldn't necessarily look tidy. And what do you do with eyebrow pencils?
I've never figured out how they work. The color certainly doesn't rub off on the hairs, and I don't think you're supposed to just draw your own on your skin even though lots of elderly ladies do. Thanks.
Your colleague in the Midwest"
My dear Midwestern lamb,
There is no rule that says Thou Shalt Pluck. Are the brows messy and scraggly? Do they distract from your eyes and travel over onto the bridge of your nose?
If so, they should be shaped.
Are your brows well-nigh invisible, failing to provide a beautiful, expressive frame for your face? If so, you should find a nice eyebrow pencil that is as close to your natural brow color as you can get it (Lancome Le Crayon Poudre is by far my favorite), keep it nice and sharp, and fill in your brow with light, feathery strokes. You're not drawing on the brows, you're filling them in
The thing you want to avoid is using a harsh, hard pencil that requires you to use a heavy hand that will result in that permanently-startled Eccentric Retired Drama Teacher look.
Remember, as with all make-up, you want to look like yourself --only better.
Visit a cosmetics counter for a free lesson; it's a perfectlyl legit investment of your time and energy. You will be seen far more effectively from the back pew with good, defined brows.
Good luck! PB
****"Preppy Pastor" has been flooding PeaceBang's in-box with anxious inquiries about appropriate attire for funerals and visitations following the service. Should he buy a black suit? Can he wear a black sports jacket with checked pants? Seriously, should he buy a suit, and does it have to be black?
Preppy Pastor has won PeaceBang's heart because he has bothered to seek out her church website and read her sermons, which he appreciates well enough to quote in his own
sermons -- and that's always a thrill, especially since we're from very different religious traditions-- so PeaceBang will happily indulge his many inquiries and try to set him on the right path here:
Preppy Pastor, darling, if you don't think you'd use a black suit very often, it's perfectly fine to wear a dark suit to a funeral and to visitations afterwards (heavens, what else would you wear to a visitation afterwards but what you wore to officiate in?). A beautiful, elegant navy should work fine. Elegant charcoal gray. What really matters is the cut and the fit, of course. A black suit doesn't look profesionally appropriate if it sags or bunches, is covered with dandruff or lint, and worn with dull, beat-up shoes (and whoever it was that pointed out that rubber-soled shoes have no place in the sanctuary, BLESS YOU. PeaceBang couldn't agree with you more, but she is trying to take baby steps with her defiantly casual male colleagues who are still showing up in black Nikes, but she digresses).
PeaceBang doesn't know what kind of CHECKED PANTS you have in mind, Preppy, but she is certain they shouldn't be worn to a funeral. Pinstripes may be fine, but checks are not. And yes, buy a suit if you can. It will serve you well in a variety of settings and is really far more appropriate for a funeral than a sports coat and slacks.Powder Pigeons,If this blog is helping you, if you read it with as much pleasure and appreciation as you do a magazine or journal you would pay for, feel free to drop a tip in the tip-jar to the right, otherwise known as the Make a Donation button. This is a labor of love, but buying new television-appropriate clothes for her next media outing has made PeaceBang aware that it's expensive being America's Best-Known Clergy Image Consultant.
Labels: Cosmetic Enhancement, Tips For My Menfolk