What To Wear For a Bitter Theological Controversy
(That's Nicholas on the left, busting Arius' chops on homoousias or homoiousias, I can never keep them straight)
PeaceBang's Beauty Tips For Ministers: Because you're in the public eye, and God knows you need to look good.
Having seen a frightening preponderance of Mom Jeans* on women of late, PeaceBang feels it worthy to return to the topic of JEANS on professional and snazzy human beings... even clergy human beings.
About a year ago, PeaceBang was at a collegial gathering wearing dark denim jeans, high-heeled boots, a fun striped blouse and a designer blazer with pockets and a belt. She had hair, nails and make-up done, and was wearing hoop earrings. In short, she was dressed entirely appropriately for a day meeting of the Unitarian Universalist Ministers Association.
A seminarian approached her to say hello and said to her, "I LOVE it that you wear jeans."
PeaceBang was a bit flummoxed. Such admiration for the apparently rebellious Wearing Of Jeans suggested that PeaceBang had tottered in from the fields clad in dirty dungarees, and wasn't that a thumb on the nose to conventional professional standards?
PeaceBang didn't know what to say, and ended the conversation fast. Could it really be that this seminarian was totally out of touch with the fact that, all over the fashion world, nice jeans and other well-made, well-cut denim garments were considered entirely appropriate for casual meetings in the business world? Had she never been to New York City or any other more fashionable urban center than Boston and seen thousands of professional men and women clad in nice denim garments pair with elegant blazers or shirts, and even dressed up for evening with heels and silk or cashmere?
Where the heck had she BEEN?
Every well-dressed American -- including clergy -- should have a nice pair of jeans in their closet. Those nice jeans should NOT BE faded, should not show ankle or most of shoe (in fact, they should be long enough to allow for the wearing of heels for women), should not make the derriere look like two large country biscuits stuffed in a basket, and should be kept folded or hung neatly, and even pressed when necessary.
Denim is IN, my darlings. It has been IN for years. Denim, when paired with other structured garments, is a perfectly acceptable fabric for all but formal occasions. The trick is to wear your nice jeans with a look that has some detail, some structure, some shape and some elegance. You wouldn't want to wear nice jeans with an ordinary sweater and no accessories. That doesn't cut it. Jeans are cool, and they require a bit of thought and effort to fulfill their potential.
Nice jeans, btw, are not appropriate for church on Sunday mornings. No way, no how. You can change into them for your meetings later in the day, but they do not belong in the Lord's temple on the Sabbath.
* How do you know Mom Jeans when you see them?
1. They are a faded, light denim, or splotchily faded from many washings.
2. They sit high on the waist, creating a pear-shaped body.
3. They are too short. You can see two or three inches of ankle.
4. They make the derriere look like enormous marshmallows because they have no stiffness left and they don't fit.
(Sweetheart People, one of the reasons denim has such perrennial appeal is that it MOLDS AND HOLDS JIGGLY BODY PARTS. When you gad about in floppy denim that doesn't hold anything in, you're defeating the purpose!)
5. The jeans in the photo are by True Religion. They cost $240 and they are most definitely NOT Mom Jeans. They're beautiful, in fact, but the front patch pockets render them a bit too casual for your line of business.
Labels: Grooming Matters