Hideous Facial Disfigurements
PeaceBang is going to let you all in on a little secret: she is afflicted with a skin condition that flares up at the most inopportune moments. Christmas Eve, say, or when she's going to host a brunch for her Ex and his brand new, skinny and gorgeous wife.
This skin flare up is nothing more exotic than the same virus that gives most people cold sores around their mouth, only PeaceBang gets the blisters on either side of her NOSE, which is where the virus took up residence many, many years ago and re-afflicts her once every few months. The dermatologist thinks that repeated sunburning of that part of the skin over many years may have made it more susceptible to blistering, or maybe PeaceBang just plain made that up.
Anyway, out of her personal experience with Hideous Facial Disfigurement,* PeaceBang offers you,
How To Remain Poised and Polished Even When Hideously Facially Disfigured:
1. At the first signs of bumps and redness, ice. ICE, ICE, BABY. Ice is a winner. It's free, it's effective, it's nature's great remedy. Ice is your go-to first step for any inflammation.
2. Do not obsess about your hideous facial disfigurment. The truth is, no one really notices it very much.
3. Keep your hands very clean and keep them away from your face. Wash and make up your mug in the morning and LEAVE IT ALONE. The Hideous Facial Disfigurement that no one can really see will be totally invisible in a few days. Stop fussing with it and let it heal. Above all, no squeezing, poking, rubbing, itching or using masques on irritated skin. You'll just make matters worse.
4. Keep out of the sun, and if you have something even remotely contagious, use your own towels and don't kiss anyone or share food or utensils. Cold sores are contagious, dumplings. Watch pillow cases, too.
5. Aloe vera gel is a good topical ointment for lots of bumpy and irritated skin conditions. Abreve is also pretty good for cold sores, but they do just need to run their course and Hideously Disfigure you for a few days.
6. If you are male, there's no reason you can't experiment with a cover-stick the same color as your skin and keep it on hand for Hideous Disfigurements. Do NOT apply cover-sticks directly to skin: rub some on the back of your clean hand and use your finger to dab, dab, dab it directly on top of the Hideous Disfigurement. A small make-up brush is an excellent tool for this. Just be sure to wash it in gentle shampoo when you're done, rinse well and let air dry.
7. If you're a woman, do your face make-up as you usually do, then dab, dab, dab a lighter concealer (PeaceBang uses an excellent green correcting product by Eucerin http://www.eucerinus.com/products/face_err_tonecreme.html when she's having an allergic reaction to something and is turning blotchy pink) over the Affliction.
8. Keep your make-up and brushes and hands clean. Whenever possible, buy products that do not require you to dip your little paws into them but are dispensed in some more hygenic manner, such as through a pump or squeeze bottle.
9. If your skin is prone to blotchy weirdness, invest in a pair of huge, glamorous sunglasses. Be very careful trying new products -- sometimes a reaction can occur over a few hours, or even the next day. Be gentle and slow if you have sensitive skin.
10. Remember that Jesus loved the lepers and he loves you, too even with your Hideous Facial Disfigurement.
Labels: Self Care