Your Dear Hard-Working Tootsies

Good morning, angels!

I have just ordered a little item called "Yoga Toes" from an outfit called YogaPro, and wondered if any of you have personal experience with their product:

http://www.yogapro.com/ts/toestretcher.html

I got them because I realized last summer that I have the beginnings of a BUNION on my right foot (what a horrid word! which is why you must prounounce it in the French manner, like "bun-yoh") and my massage therapist Eddie says my little toesies need to be in alignment more often. I asked him What does that mean, Eddie? What are you saying? I should be wearing ...
SENSIBLE SHOES or something?"

And he said all kinds of lovely and comforting things, because he knows and accepts me and he understands that SENSIBLE SHOES are just not in the stars for me at this time in my life. But he said that this bump on my right foot is telling me that I need to pull my toes into alignment and so I went and got these Yoga Toes. I'm looking forward to trying them, and will report back to you. Hot tip: If you want to order some yourself, you can use "ALR" as a coupon code and get $15 off!

Seriously, though, a good massage therapist is one of life's most beautiful blessings. Especially ones who sometimes send you out the door all calm and put-back-together and then absolutely refuse any money at all because, impossible as it is to believe, they just care about you and want to give you back some of the healing and energy that you're putting out. Talk about angels.

'Brellies Are An Accessory, Too!

Don't forget to pick up a nice, bright umbrella before April showers begin.

They're not expensive, and you need a good, sturdy dark one for sombre occasions. But hey, why not treat yourself to a cute, bright one that will look smart with your trench coat? I'm rather fond of this, myself:

http://www.umbrellas.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=21622a-treefrogs&Category_Code=AU&Product_Count=4

But I'm more likely to pick up something in bright stripes from Target.

A New Mama Writes In!

Darlings, March came in like a lion and is going out like another lion! Whooee, is it windy! PeaceBang put her garbage out on the curb last night and was afraid all night that the wind would blow it all over the yard, which would have been just disgusting! And given her stomach virus, even more disgusting than usual!

Was that my out-loud voice speaking those uncouth thoughts?
I do apologize, dears. And here it is just around dinner time, too.

Well, PeaceBang will not be eating dinner, but at least she's feeling well enough to stamp around the house yelling, "I WANT REAL FOOD! I AM TIRED OF PRETZELS AND SALTINES! I WANT LINGUINI WITH CLAM SAUCE!" Funny, because linguini with clam sauce was a favorite in the Weinstein household growing up, but it is not a dish PeaceBang has ever eaten in her entire adult life. She must be hankering for Tastes of Home. More specifically, she is hankering for the comforting sounds of Shirley in the kitchen. Well, that just does it. I am making some plain linguini as soon as I finish this posting, digestive tract be damned. If God hadn't wanted us to eat linguini five days into a mysterious intestinal infection, He wouldn't have given us Immodium and Gatorade.

This letter came to us today from the wilds of North Hampshire, or New Hampshire, I think they call it. One of those perfectly charming New England states, anyway. Our note reads:

Dear Peacebang,

I'm [SS], a fellow UU minister serving in New Hampshire, and I had to write to you to tell you I am a huge fan of Beauty Tips for Ministers. I came back from maternity leave to my ministry this fall, and found myself (despite the reduction in my sleep) re-energized for church work. Woo-hoo! But a few months later, I realized I needed to re-energize my own bodily self as well, to get back to showing the world "I feel great in the body God gave me" instead of "good God, what did pregnancy do to me"? And BTFM was there to help. You have inspired me to get an actual hairstyle and an actual hairdryer, and to pay attention to how I look as I go out the door every day, baby or no baby. Thanks!

By the way, the makeup items I cannot live without are Touch Base for Eyes by Clinique in Petal Shimmer and Juicy Tubes lipgloss by Lancome in Tickled Pink. Plus some concealer and mascara, this is my weekday, no-one-will-be-taking-my-picture regimen.

Now readers, how cute is this woman? She is full of energy, she has a new babe, she took the time to write an appreciative letter to PeaceBang, and she beautifully articulates the message we communicate when we make that extra effort to add a little shine and polish to our look. I couldn't have said it better, so let me repeat her words, "I feel great in the body God gave me."

Brava, Reverend Mama, thanks for the recommendations and the note, and all good blessings on you, your ministry and your new little one!

Kiss of peace,
xoxox PB

Our reader recommends:

Clinique Touch Base for Eyes in Petal Shimmer
Lancome Juicy Tubes lip gloss in Tickled Pink

Alloy.com: Your Source For Super-Cheap, Fun Clothes

This is a great website to visit when you want to get in touch with your inner teeny-bopper:

http://store.alloy.com/frontpage.do?commTrack=shopChannelFromHome

Here's the thing. They carry youthful, very of-the-moment clothing. It's extremely cheaply- made but hey, it's also cheap.

You can add some interesting pieces to your closet without spending much money at all, and as soon as it falls apart (like, the day after tomorrow), it won't be in style anymore! What's not to love?

PeaceBang has an secret Extreme Bohemian side that she likes to indulge when she's home alone, and bought two smock tops and a pair of crazy wide-legged pants from Alloy for about $35. They're incredibly soft and comfortable, they bring me back to my Wiccan-oriented grad school days (Jen, you'll be the only reader out there who gets the appropriate visual on that one!), and they're a nice break from the grown-up world.

Enjoy, darlings.

UU Minister Man-Head

UU Minister Man Head
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

I saw this photo on the celebrity fashion-dish blog "Go Fug Yourself" and screamed. Do we not all know a Unitarian Universalist male minister who has manscaping exactly like this?

WE DO.

And it's time it STOPPED.

This look, which I am just now dubbing "Swinging Seventies Pastor," is DATED, boys! It's time to cut the hair shorter -- I know, you have fabulous flowing locks and you want to show them off, but if you're doing a beard and 'stache at the same time, you CAN'T.

I know my boys are partial to their facial hair, but given that a HUGE percentage of our clergy have it, wouldn't it be cool if more of our guys put away the stereotypical grooming habits of the past just, you know, to see how it feels?

You can always grow it back, right?

Meanwhile, I'm not even mentioning the horrors of this outfit.

Gee, I must be feeling better! Stomach flu seems to agree with me!

Jesus Had Tats!

Jesus Tat
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

To the lovely reader who wrote to me recently asking what I think of tattoos on the Gen X crowd, all I can say is,

Hey, if tats were good enough for Jesus, they're good enough for PeaceBang!!
That said, if PeaceBang sees one more young lass in low-rider pants sporting one of those Celtic knot designs just above her posterior, she's going to fling her iced decaf latte at the nearest innocent bystander and scream something incoherent about how posting other culture's spiritual symbols above your butt or anywhere else on your person does not make you COOL, it just makes you -- in about sixty years -- another old person with ugly, extremely faded designs on your body. ::::deep, cleansing breath:::::

Hey Sailor, Buy Me a Dwink?

Hey Sailor, Buy Me a Dwink?
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

This fella on the right is apparently Someone Famous, but PeaceBang has no idea who he is.

All she knows is that gentlemen in the ministerial professions should not don stripes like this unless they're prepared to also wear a little beret and dance around picturesque cafes with the likes of Miss Leslie Caron.

A second option would be to dance around lower Manhattan in a pair of tight, white pants and do an extra pirouette because you're on shore leave for a WHOLE DAY and you get to go FIND A GAL.

Bad idea, stripes like those.

Rev. Gidget Does Goodwill

Pigeons of Heaven!

PeaceBang has one of those nasty flu bugs that, just last evening, had her resembling Linda Blair's character in "The Exorcist" -- you remember that pea soup scene, don't you ?-- and is happy and appreciative to feature this guest column by Rev. Gidget. Thanks so much for writing in, Gidgie!

"Rev. Gidget Does Goodwill"

Having just brought in a magnificent haul from my Goodwill store, I wondered if your gentle readers (esp. the students) might like some tips for thrift store shopping.

1. Don't go in thinking you are going to find a specific item - you will be sorely frustrated. Instead, have several categories in mind, and be open to surprise. I once found a beautiful Liz Claiborne long black dress with a square neck and short sleeves that was perfect with a stole for leading summer worship in our blazing hot sanctuary. $10!

2. Use the Goodwill to supplement your wardrobe. I find blouses, pants, t-shirts, jackets, dresses, scarves and skirts, that all blend nicely with my new stuff. Also, buying used clothes when you need casual items gives you more money to spend on your professional wardrobe.

3. Be patient, go when you have a few hours to spend. I tried on four times as many things as I bought. The pleasure of the hunt is half the fun.

4. Be extremely picky. Yes, people WILL notice the tiny stain on that lovely shirt. Examine all items carefully in the light before purchasing. No, you probably WON'T lose the weight needed to make that dress look really good on you. I don't care if it's $5. I once bought anything that fit okay, looked all right, wasn't too dowdy, etc. Alas, I found I had a closet full of such items, and I never wanted to wear them. Rule of thumb: If you wouldn't buy it new, don't buy it because it's cheap.

5. Not really a tip, but an observation - people who will especially want to check out the Goodwill (and thrift stores in general) are (1) men who wear classic items like khaki pants, buttoned Lands End-type shirts, the occasional high-end label sportjacket, coat, and ties and (2) men or women who wear small sizes. I have sighed over itty-bitty items that are usually the cream of the used clothing crop. People do tend to get bigger more often than they get smaller, and you could be the lucky recipient of some very fabulous clothes.

Fondly, Rev. Gidget

SisterBang: Style Maven

KarenBday2007
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

No matter what the fashion is, she always buys one kind of shoe: high clogs that make her look like a little circus pony. Sometimes even in faux fur.
She would get a manicure in Ballet Pink polish even when she's unemployed, and skip food (she doesn't cook, anyway, or even have a kitchen table and chairs).
She smells so good ("The Vanilla Bomb")and her hair is so shiny that children always want to crawl into her lap.
She has dog hair all over her car but none of it ever ends up ON her, for some reason.
She wears babydoll dresses and braids because "I'm an art teacher!" She gives the same reason for having a purple streak in her hair.
She mixes necklaces from Tiffany with beaded rings made by 4th graders, and it all looks great.
She always has smooth feet.
Her constant and most beautiful accessory is Gordon, as seen in photo.
When you make a suggestion about something she should or shouldn't wear, she cheerfully tells you to go to hell.

She has perfect eyebrows that look like anchovies.

She carries fantastic bags and she doesn't walk, she strides. You might think this is because she's confident, but it's really because she's kind of shy and doesn't like to make too much eye contact with people. No dawdling. We have places to go.

She always has glamorous sunglasses.

She's been wearing the same lipstick (some sheer, shimmery Clinique shade) because it looks good on her. Period. Who cares if some other shade is more au courant?

She despairs every winter that she's getting "sallow" or "ashy," but she never does because she's a genius with subtle bronzer.

She just turned 43 and she is finally, finally starting to age a little bit (so we won't have to kill her).

She is SisterBang, a True Original.

Love you, Seestren!