Darling and devoted readers, I am back from the Big, Bad Apple. What an inspiration it was! Fashionable people everywhere walking little dogs in plaid sweaters! Autumn splendor and marathon runners sporting spandex! A little trip to Heaven by Amtrak.
Although I was in Manhattan for a most serious religious conference, I did manage to get a little bit of shopping done, including at Sephora and at Boyd's Pharmacy on the Upper West Side. I came away with just armloads of samples, and I've been slathering my face and body with all manner of concoctions just for YOUR edification! Because as you know, PeaceBang will gladly risk eye infections, skin rashes and anything short of permanent scarring to bring the best beauty recommendations to you, my lovelies.
But before we get to product recommendations, let's talk for a moment about the absolutely lovely human being featured in the blurry, dark photo up there. It is none other than the brilliant and prolific Gary Dorrien, preeminent theological historian of our time, whose work you must know if you're at all interested in American liberal theology.
Dr. Dorrien is the Reinhold Niebuhr Professor of Social Ethics at Union Theological Seminary and I actually met him this past May in his apartment at my friend Rachel's Ph.D. champagne toast, but I was too shy and intimidated to introduce myself then. Yes, imagine that! PeaceBang shy!
I'm sure you can understand my reticence when you study that photo and realize that not only is Professor Gary Dorrien a hugely important intellectual presence in the study of religion (you've at least read The Remaking of Evangelical Theology
, right? Or a few of his articles in the Christian Century
, which is where I first became enamored of his work? Not to mention his astounding three volume series on American liberal theology, the third volume of which you can order for Christmas!), he is a dreamboat.
Please let me assure you that I did get permission from Dr. Dorrien to post his photo here, and I am trying to be very respectful in my gushing about his intellectual prowess and handsomeness. Since you're undoubtedly already familiar with his academic contributions, I'd like to review a few details of his appearance, which is just flawless and which you should definitely consider emulating, fellas.
1. First of all, and it has to be said: Gary Dorrien has fantastic hair. You probably can't see the details in the terrible photo, but he has beautiful chestnut brown hair cut beautifully to enhance its natural curliness-- and I hope this isn't too irreverent -- he's wearing some kind of hair product that makes it shiny and defines the curls. Boys, take note. This should convert, for once and for all, any hold-outs to the scraggly look. I'm not saying you have to get a perm
, I'm just saying that a little pomade and a decent cut won't kill you. Investigate.
2. Secondly, this man is blessed with perfect, glowing skin. Which I know I shouldn't have noticed, rapt as I was over his wonderful lecture, but how could I not? Which simply begs the question, "Dr. Dorrien, what's your secret
?" Union seminarians, could you work this question into your next session with the good professor? I'm not sure how one would accomplish this, but perhaps working in a reference to Clinique in a discussion on the crisis in the liberal church would provoke a response about skin care in academia. I don't know, but I have faith that you can figure it out.
3. Little spectacles, pristine, clean and clear, not smudgy and hanging off one ear. De rigeur
for academic royalty, and they're perfect on him.
3. What a beautiful outfit. Note the whimsical pink tie, the interesting shirt, the dark jacket pulling it all together. Impeccable, comfortable, communicates respect for himself, respect for his work, respect for his image, respect for the people he's come to address. This man exudes respect and respectability. He is a gentleman and a scholar, and I don't care how cliched that is.
And I don't even care if you've figured out that I have an enormous crush on him.
If I was Gary Dorrien and had people asking me very serious questions about liberal theology and empire and ethics all the time, I think it would be nice to know that someone was appreciating me not only for my scholarly genius, but for my gracious spirit and extreme handsomeness.
I wish him every happiness.
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